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Any caregivers out there with a sense of humor left? Watching the Olympics made me wonder if caregivers would get more recognition and assistance if more people were aware of the tremendous feats we accomplish day after day. So, do you have an event suggestion for the Caregiver Olympics? Anyone? How about:

1. bed linen change challenge: bed change with a person still in the bed (points for gentleness, neatness, etc)
2. make the dr appt on time: You must juggle: late transportation, last minute clothes change due to spill and ask minute bathroom break
3. Find the right Medicare drug plan: who can navigate the Medicare drug plan selection site and come up with the best plan
4. Bed pan relay race: make it to your destination without spills

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How about how many times you can answer the same question...
Speak loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but not your elder....
Trying to get one elder in the car while the other one is wandering down the drive way...
Fixing all meals that taste like chocolate because the elder only wants sweets....
Remainig calm under all circumstances.....
Breathing, just breathing.....
(7)
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Too funny!

How loud can u get the tv w/o breaking your eardrums and blowing the speakers?

How many ways can you come up with to make taking a shower fun and appealing for a senior with dementia?

How much bleach can you add without making white spots on the colored laundry?
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How many times (out of ten) can you successfully enter a post on AC from your I-phone without dumping it or changing the intended meaning with your out of control auto-corrector?!
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I forgot about the TV Kimbee, this is a great thread, are we the only three with a sense of humor...???
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You guys are too funny!

Nothing too add (my creativity is broken right now), but thanks for the laugh. :)
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Thanks for contributing. ok so I'll add a few myself. I find letting my imagination go relieves stress.

Locate the lost glasses, tv remote (fill in the blank) - quickest time wins but extra points for searching thru garbage
The clone challenge: You have been on hold for over 1/2 hour waiting for the dr, insurance rep, medicare rep, (fill in) , just as they come on the line, your family member needs to go to the bathroom, the delivery/repair man shows up.

The slide challenge: longest time without sliding down and needing to be pulled up again wins
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1.) Mad Bathroom Dash: Finding the nearest public bathroom in 30 seconds or less
2.) ER Challenge: Gather clothes and toiletries to take to the hospital before time is up
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Wheelchair slalom

Course consists of steep downward grade, level section with three consecutive heavy restaurant doors that contestant must hold open while pushing the wheelchair through, one curb down with no cutout and with sand 1” deep on the other side, one curb up with no cutout and with mud extending out from the curb 1.5 meters, long detour to bathroom, and finally a steep upward grade.

Dumping wheelchair passenger is immediate disqualification.

Demerits for each utterance not suitable for a church, mosque, or synagogue: 2 seconds per utterance added to total time. For scuffing passengers shoes or soiling clothing with mud or sand: 2.2 seconds added per instance.

Bonus for passenger smiling at finish line: 4 seconds deducted from total time.
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Scavenger Hunt: How fast can you retrieve every item that Mom has hidden in the few minutes she is in the bathroom!!!
I.D. Event: How long does it take for your Police officers to pick up Mom and bring her home after she's wanders, if they pick her up, and bring her home, before you call them, you get the gold!!! Going through more than once is too much a GOLD medal... Because this means Mom has wandered enough that she automatically thinks the police are looking for her like routine and flags them down to go for a ride. How many police officers in your town know your Mom (or Dad) by first name, and you as the caregiver as well! Extra points for police I.D. and returns!!!
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Truth or Consequences.
Did she really go to the bathroom before she got in the car?
Did she really swallow her meds, or did she hide it in her pocket?
Did she eat her dinner, or give it to the dog?
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I could have won the Bathing Medley:

1) get clothes, towels, deodorant, lotions together and heat up the bathroonm.
2) Wheel mom in the bathroom and strip her before she realized what was happening.
3)Soap her up and hose her down while she is saying hurry up and get this damn shower over with.
4) Dry her off, lotin her up and get her dressed while she is hollering how cold it is.

Oh, YEAH, !!!!! RAH, RAH, RAH!!!!!!
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Or the Walmart Marathon.........Try to find a parking space somewhere in a one-mile vicinity, put the handicapped sign on the rearview mirror, race to the back of the van to get the wheelchair, get mom out of the car, race uphill to the doors, grab a cart, push mom with one hand and drag the cart with the other for all those miles. Got to drag and push through the clothes aisles, get caught in the racks, race to HBA to get Tylenol, hair color, hit the pet section for dog food, go slowly around the jewelry....get to take a breath there.....get any old card, check out hardware to hang pictures, drag your feet through the shoe aisles, got to get new socks for the shoes.....PURSES!!!.....get to the food section.....more deodorizers for bathroom, bread milk, eggs, CANDY!!!! Grab a rotisserie chicken garanteed to give her the sh**s, get in line. Get out the door, fight the runaway wheelchair and cart all the way to the car, hoist mom into the van with the aid of a stepstool, turn the car on to cool her off, unload the cart, put it away, get in the car, drive home, get mom out and inside where it is too cool, go back out and unload the groceries. Get cold things in the frig, put mom's new jewelry on her, fix lunch, get all new clothes untagged for the washer, put new shoes on her feet she doesn't walk on..........that is a marathon to me!!!!!
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Seme: the walmart marathon made me laugh. Pretty well sums up a summer shopping experience w a wheelchair and a mom!! I really dislike the ole w mart and had crossed them off my list. May need to reconsider tho-less in and out of the car sounds appealing. When ur cute new puppies get trained in the basics, maybe u could get them trained to pull the wheelchair- like a bobsled. Slap a service dog vest on 'em and roll on through there with ease!! Ahh....
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This is too funny!

Explanation Station-explain a new med, procedure, or diagnosis to your parent. Bonus points for not scaring them. Bonus points if they come back from the procedure and are still speaking to you, or actually take the med. Deduct points for each time you have to explain it again (and again, and again).
Food Endurance - can you make a whole day of meals they will eat without complaining?
Scheduling marathon - call for an appointment or question and wait for the person you need to talk to to call you back. Loose points if you can't wait anymore and call again. Bonus points for scheduling an appointment that's not at the same time as something else when they call you back and you are in the bathroom, driving, or otherwise without the Master Calander.

I think we are all Gold Medalists in all these events :)
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Great stuff so funny!!
Point Round Up
3 points if you find the tv remote under the couch cousins
5 points if the keys are in the mail box
8 points if dentures are in the hearing aid container and another
10 points if the hearing aids are in a glass
20 smacking points if you find eye glasses in the rose bushes (this is my favorite)
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How about how fast can you hit the mute button when trying to work and your aging parent starts asking questions in the background while you're on a conference call?
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What about a timed event where competitors name as many things as possible that will help a person go number two when they're constipated, without them knowing what you're up to. I think I'd be a contender: prune juice, fig bars, fiber one, bran flakes, metamucil, sugar free candies, baked beans....
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In honor of the Olympics drugging controversy: The medication challenge - a never ending event consisting of:
1. filling and collecting RX 2. questioning need for RX 3. research of side effects, other medication interactions 3. curve when out of blue insurance decides not to cover or insists on switching 4.running quizz: why am i taking this/.how long do i have to take this 5 . the generic handoff twist: just as everyone gets used to a certain color and shape of each pill to avoid errors, you start getting something that looks totally different 6) detour whilie you wait for dr's office to send in a refill. 7) go back to 1 and start over endlessly
Extra challenge: figure out how to recycle pill bottle in a creative way (turn them into cat toys, store screws, etc, donate to vet offices, single flower bud vases that don't spill (punch one hole in cap to insert stem and place by bedside.

Some helpful things: if your insurance lets you it is much easier to ask the dr to write the RX for a 90 day supply; And Walgreen (and maybae others) didn't realize under recently that the cap on the bottle works from both sides, screw on one side and it is not a child proof cat. make sure you get a form from the medicare D provider and pharmacy in advance (if they require it) that allows you to talk to them about the medications prescribed for your family member
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I have a challenge that I am sure you all of but were afraid to mention...

Doing the toilet duties without commenting on the smell or complaining and asking God why you have to do this!
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*thought of...tired today.
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Oh mommag-no disrespect, but we ROLL with it here, and sadly, have taken bathroom humor to a whole new level. So, what about the event: "Poop Jokes, Stinky Faces and Nose-Holding Dance Competition" Extra points for adding original song lyrics set to familiar tunes. (please don't kick me off the site-I'm at the silly tired stage Cause I had the Explanation Station Marathon all afternoon) My sweet mom thanked me for helping her understand and asked if I'd mind writing it down for her so she could remember and study it later-broke my heart and felt thankful at the same time. But we're still gonna have poopy songs around here.
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Kimbee, you must be "wiped" out! LOL
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Hahahaha-yep I am! Good one!
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LoL!!!!
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The "Just a Walk" event: How many walks can you go on with Mom, in one day!!!..... leaving the house returning... repeat.... repeat... repeat.... etc.....until she realizes and is satisfied you'd been on a walk!!! My Mom gets the Gold for that event she was (I am convinced) trying to wear me out so I'd give up, I never did but she definitely out walked me!!!
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I deserve a medal for cleaning up poop. Bonus points for doing 15 loads of laundry and cleaning up poop everywhere, even on ceiling, after beloved relative got food poisoning while a guest at a friend's house. More points for cleaning a public restroom at the opera house where relative got a recurrence of c-diff, and dealing with the long line of angry and impatient opera patrons.

A related event is cleaning up copious amounts of blood in public after paper-thin skin bruised, and explaining bruises to horrified onlookers (today mom hit her face on the corner of the car door somehow and showed up to a birthday lunch looking like a prize fighter who lost a fight). Also explaining to horrified onlookers about blood in car after stepfather's stent surgery incision opened up on long drive home and filled passenger side foot well with blood the night before Thanksgiving with 20 relatives due to show up -- cooking turkey dinner and hosing blood out of car....

The gold medal is having clean, safe, happy and grateful relatives leading happy lives and enjoying their old age years, being trusted and doing a good job. Repaying them for the decades of love and care is absolutely priceless!
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Trying to figure out different ways to (beg, persuade, cajole, encourage, inspire,
plead, not threaten of course) other relatives to atleast take a few minutes to visit, call, write, etc. the loved one. Trying not to become too discouraged, saddened, empathetic, etc. with others who are "very busy". This is a feat that sometimes takes a lot of prayer!
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We are all "Caregiver All Stars":
STEPHAN...I hope you don't mind me stealing your quote but it's perfect!!!
"Warm Heart Event": The gold medal is having clean, safe, happy and grateful relatives leading happy lives and enjoying their old age years, being trusted and doing a good job. Repaying them for the decades of love and care is absolutely priceless!
None of us do anything for anyone and expect a reward except
"PEACE OF MIND AND A FEELING OF DOING RIGHT FOR A LOVED ONE OR ANOTHER LIFE" .... No Matter how SH.. HIT.. EE... or Bloody or Crazy it makes us.... Caregivers do it with Love but we are too tired to "do it"!!!! LOL
I believe we are all blessed to have each other we share an understanding most others resist or fear.... without that understanding , "those others" who read this thread, think we are all the crazy one's, when we know different, I feel sorry for "them" !!! I guess I cannot generalize but I'm venting a bit of my frustration not understood by family members.
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The Poop Shuffle

I mop I mop I mop
The puppy poops in Pa's room
Pa heads to the bathroom
shuffle shuffle shuffle
through the poop poop poop
looks for me throughout the house
shuffle shuffle shuffle
through the poop poop poop
I get the mop mop mop
through the brown brick road :)
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
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How about the Emergency Alert Relay: receive an emergency alert call. Get in the car, drive 30 miles, find relative happily asleep having accidentally hit the button. Drive 30 miles home. Alert goes off again. call -- no answer. Drive 30 miles. alert button tucked in bra, went off accidentally. Drive 30 miles... do this for weeks, finally give up, buy baby monitor, start sleeping on floor in relative's living room. Wake up every time baby monitor goes off because beloved family member yawns, sneezes, coughs or farts. Do this for years.
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