Hi everyone. I know I am probably not alone with this issue. This no visits with my dad is hard. I have done a few skype visits but he is so confused. He has no idea how he can talk to me through this computer screen. I was going to do window visit but I know my father well enough to know that if he sees me on the other side of the window, he would try to get out and give the nurses and psw's a very hard time. So I just continue with the skype visits. My biggest fear is that because I can't go see him he is going to forget who I am. My last skype visit I had with him he looked more confused than ever. He called me one night and asked me if I know where he lives. I made the mistake in saying that for now he lives there. I knew as soon as it came out of my mouth it was wrong. Once I got him settled down he asked me if I still lived on such and such street. I had never lived on that street. It was the street he grew up on.
I've noticed that skype confuses my mom too. I tried to use it when I was abroad for work a couple of years ago, I could sense the awkwardness and confusion in her and instead of feeling joy we were both exhausted at the end of the call.
At the telephone, she's back being herself. Now that I think of it, at the telephone she sounds very present, more than in person. I really don't know why.
I sometimes think that all forms of dementia must have a huge emotional component. Going back to what they know and feel proficient with gives them confidence, and confidence boosts self-esteem, and they feel normal again ... so they act normal. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, but I have perceived this many times with my mom.
I hope you'll be reunited with your dad soon.
My father was in a memory care facility before he died in February. For the past year he often didn’t recognize me at all until I began to speak to him. It sounds heartbreaking, but I found that what cwillie said is true. I was ok as long as he eventually realized that I cared about him.
I hope you can find peace with this.