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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My father has a hip fracture and is wheelchair bound. He is becoming more and more confused but wants to go home. Does anyone have experience with home health care in this type of situation?
OncehatedDIL, I do not think we are "close". My husband is not anymore the handsome, intelligent man I met 29 years ago, sometimes I see a him as a stranger. Sometimes he does not recognize me. Impossible to be close. I am fulfilling my duties as a wife, "in sickness and in health". Thanks for writing. nerie86
Nerie, it does seem like you would have seen some adjustment since he has been there 5 months. You aren't going every day, which I feel is good, so you aren't blocking his bonding to his new place. Are the two of you very close? Is this why you are both so unhappy?
Hello OncehatedDIL...He has been since last October, and no I can not visit him daily because he is a few miles far from home. I had no choice when he was transferred from the hospital. They said to me that there were no beds available closer. I am still "fighting" with this subject, but they did not accepted him in another Facility because of his "aggressive behavior".
I think that if a parent wants to come home they should be allowed to. Their SS check, or whatever money they have will need to pay for fulltime care but why not? I know I sure wouldnt want to go into a nursing home and I would be so depressed would let go also. I have my Mom with us with severe dementia who cannot walk or talk, I have to bath, change diapers and feed her and its extremely difficult after 5 years. I decided to hire help and its the best thing I ever did, we're both happy this way, until the end. Hang in there everyone, I am trying to and remember they cant take their money with them so use it to give them what they want, they earned it.
Well, once again every case is different. My husband also wants to come home. He is in one of those depressive nursing homes. He has no interaction with any other resident, he does not enjoy activities. I am still waiting for his period of adjustment. He does not know why he is there because: "I am healthy". What he does not know that I am more depressed than he is. I am handling everything, financial matters, house, car, etc., and nobody takes care of me. This is my new attitude starting today, after months of reading this page, and sharing my problems with all of you beautiful people. Hope it helps.
When my mother had a series of strokes she was diagnosed with moderate dementia. She was so confused and helpless. She needed 24/7 care and I was her only living child so she moved in immediately. She was so hateful at first, tried several times to call her friends and neighbors looking for ways to go home, contacted the police and elder abuse thinking we were holding her prisoner. We were honest every step of the way (unlike her friends who told her nothing was wrong with her), her doctor told her she needed 24/7 care, neurologist said the same and after months of living with her i knew there was no way she could ever live without 24/7 support. One day one of the nurses came by unexpectedly and it was the first time a medical person told her you are not going to get better, you're only going to get worst. She told her the best thing for her would be to sell her condo and move into an assisted living community. I couldn't believe it, my mother for the first time in months of being negative and hateful started talking positive about seeing some AL facilities. My husband and I went to some locally until we found one that we felt would be the best possible community for her. We worked with the sales director for strategies for her to come see the place. We took her to one that was in the area that happened to look like a depressing nursing home and then scheduled lunch and a tour at a Vintage community near us. She loved it!!! And now, one week after moving in surrounded by her furniture she seems so happy. She feels independent! I have been there several times and she is really adjusting beautifully. Most of the people living there are independent and my hope is that by hanging out with them she will try and step up to join the activities, socialize, etc. And she is!!! Good luck. Hope my story helps somehow.
I do. I took in my Father after my Mother had a massive heart attack and stroke. She was his main caregiver. What you need to do, is have a talk with him. Tell him what is going on. Be honest, because if you were in the same situation; you would want the person to tell you the truth. I did that with my Dad when he got Dementia, and wanted out of the Nursing Home I had put him into when I could no longer take care of him. I have had the talk with him 5 times now, being patient each time. Then I made the hardest decision of my life; I decided to send him back to where his sisters, and nieces, and nephews were. 1500 miles from my Mother and myself. Knowing that it would be the last time I would hug him when he went to get on the plane; about killed me. But he was so happy about seeing his family. He moved with my Mom to be with her family. Now he is very happy. He get's to see his great-grandchildren, and is doing better. I knew he would give up and die, if he stayed in the Nursing Home. I made the choice. I do not regret it. There are programs through DSS that can help. Find your local DSS and have them evaluate your home and Father. They will decide what they can help you with. God Bless You and what you are doing. Good Luck.
I had this same problem with my mother-in-law too. She still tells me she wants to go home. But her Dementia has gotten worse, and she doesn't realize her "home" was sold - and she requires too much care now for us to handle. I feel guilty but it is what it is. And Mamoogins said it well. Sometimes it's just best that they are in an assisted living or senior center. Good luck.
I am assuming he has some type of mental decline as well? My MIL had the same problem, as did my father several weeks ago. My MIL's memory continued to get worse. We told her she was visiting to allow her knee surgery to heal. To this day, she still says she's visiting and doesn't know any better as she has become almost totally nonverable and doesn't know who we are any more. My father's favorite doctor, that he trusts more than anyone suggested it was just time. We could no longer provide the intensity of care he required and told us our health was beginning to suffer as caregivers. When and his doctor told him he needed all the care that they provided, he settled right in. He now has friends, enjoys the daily activities and has all the care he requires. After a period of adjustment, he is actually much happier now than he was at home, because he is around people his own age that he can talk to. It's like sending your children off to college; they just need time to adjust.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I did that with my Dad when he got Dementia, and wanted out of the Nursing Home I had put him into when I could no longer take care of him.
I have had the talk with him 5 times now, being patient each time.
Then I made the hardest decision of my life; I decided to send him back to where his sisters, and nieces, and nephews were. 1500 miles from my Mother and myself. Knowing that it would be the last time I would hug him when he went to get on the plane; about killed me. But he was so happy about seeing his family. He moved with my Mom to be with her family.
Now he is very happy. He get's to see his great-grandchildren, and is doing better. I knew he would give up and die, if he stayed in the Nursing Home.
I made the choice. I do not regret it.
There are programs through DSS that can help. Find your local DSS and have them evaluate your home and Father. They will decide what they can help you with.
God Bless You and what you are doing. Good Luck.
My MIL had the same problem, as did my father several weeks ago. My MIL's memory continued to get worse. We told her she was visiting to allow her knee surgery to heal. To this day, she still says she's visiting and doesn't know any better as she has become almost totally nonverable and doesn't know who we are any more.
My father's favorite doctor, that he trusts more than anyone suggested it was just time. We could no longer provide the intensity of care he required and told us our health was beginning to suffer as caregivers. When and his doctor told him he needed all the care that they provided, he settled right in. He now has friends, enjoys the daily activities and has all the care he requires. After a period of adjustment, he is actually much happier now than he was at home, because he is around people his own age that he can talk to.
It's like sending your children off to college; they just need time to adjust.