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One of the biggest scams I have encountered is within the elder care community. Most assisted lving communities charge a non- refundable entrance fee anywhere from a few thousand dollars to over $8K. After I paid the entrance fee, I was told they could not take care of dad, refused to bath him or provide basic personal hygiene. Dad is unable to stand unassisted, which was disclosed in writing up front. I was told I could either pay for a private setter or leave that they refused to lift him. I left with the large deposit still unrefunded. This has happend multiple times and even with calling APS, the ombudsmen and the Health Department, I am finding there is nothing I can do to recover the deposit. All of my complaints have been found to be "unsubstantiated", which I have found is 99.9% of the time. They ask Dad if he was showered, and he doesn't remember. The records have all been falsely documented. I started writing in his chart "No" when I saw that the CG had recorded bathing and brushing his teeth, when i was there and found him unbathed, and teeth nasty from multiple days of not brushing. I have been accused of being "abusive" so many times, that I have learned this is the facilities way of throwing up a smokescreen to take the focus off of them. I was told the only way to retrieve my money was if the facility had multiple complaints for the same offensive, and to show a pattern. Well, who do you complain to? Are there any honest facilities out there that truly care about elders or have we reached the stage that this is just another get rich quick way to scam our parents? This is the most unregulated, dishonest industries I have ever encountered. Where does one go to get support and who advocates for the residents?

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do the "good" nusing homes brush teeth regularly and attend to other personal grooming or are all nursing home expecting the person to pay for this as additional?
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oh my thats awful . thats why i took my dad in my home . when he was in nursing home . his clothes would come up missing and ha dto buy him more clothes . all they do is get him up for breakfast , lunch , supper . even when he couldnt barely eat they dont try to feed him .
he s better off to be at home and have a love ones willin to take care of him one on one .
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I have not found one nursing home in five years that will do personal hygiene regularly. Dad has had to have two caps, and 3 root canals from poor hygiene. And the worst part is that they lie on the documentation and record that they did the personal hygiene when it is obvious they did not. One facility that I paid $8K per month, would roll him in the shower and just let the water rinse him off. I was paying $65 per shower extra. I found out a year later when I took him out and he smelled so bad I had to roll all the windows down in the car from the smell. I took him back and showered him and there was literally a cloud that formed in the shower from the stinch. The care givers stated "I thought he could shower himself. He only has one arm and has Alzheimer's...duh! Problem is Dad lived out of state when I was called to take care of him. I was advised by legal counsel to take out a personal loan to cover the cost of his personal care, which I did. I just sold his home for the amount of that loan, which has left me bankrupt from having to oversee his care and take care of his legal proceedings for the past 5 years. I am a single grandmother, who has all but lost my business due to the disruptions in Dad's care. There is no way I can afford to keep him at home and work. He has to be toileted, bathed & dressed. I ruptured a disk in my neck lifting him without assistance. He is over 6 feet and weighs 230 lbs. I feel defeated, and abandoned. I am now in bankruptcy from trying to handle this on my own, and I have no family to help. My brother tried to kill Dad with morphine for his home, so he is definately out of the picture. This is the most isolated, lonely, discouraging thing I have ever done. One person can not do it alone and pay all the household expenses at the same time.
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Jander, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry you have had so many difficulties in caring for your dad. He sure is blessed to have you looking out for his best interests. I pray you can get the help you need to see this through. God will bless your efforts.
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maybe consider to have him move in the state ure in and be lit closer to him . since thos epople knows he has nobody to come in ck on him every so often they will ingore him .
that is neglet what that place is doing to him . there should be agaisnt the law in that . i would turn those people in !
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I have moved him to AZ to be near me, and I do check that is how I know they are not bathing him or brushing his teeth. The problem is, there is no one to turn them into. They have documentation that they did his ADL's, even though it was falsely documented, Dad can't remember, and there is nothing short of a law suit and it isn't worth the money. The facilities know it, and they get away with it time after time.
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Is he a Veteran? The Veterans homes are under stricter guidelines and laws. And contrary to what the media tells you, they do receive better care. Check your states listings. Also, he may qualify for Veterans Benefits to help pay for his care.
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Nope not a veteran. All private pay, until last month when he finally qualified for long term care. I agree with the care at VA.
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Jander, sounds like you have had a horrible experience. There certianly are still agencies around that care about the well being of seniors...it just may take more research to find one. My father too needed some sort of care but I was hesistant to send him to a nursing home. I researched in home care and stumbled across Home Care Assistance. The caregivers have been excellent and my dad has been happy ever since. I suggest you look into this alternative for yourself.
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Jander, I am so sorry you're having such problems. You are not alone, and stories like yours are one reason I would recommend my book: The Insider's Guide to Dementia Care: What You Should Know About Assisted Living, Alzheimer's, and Dementia Care. It's available on amazon.com. Families need to know more about how to advocate for their loved ones in facilities. If you get the book, please let me know if it helps.

Beth
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I am writing a book on Elder Care myself, but will take a look at the one you wrote. I feel these facilities who take the money, and refuse to do the work, should be exposed. There is nothing out there to prepare us for the fraud, deception and outright neglect that is prevalant in today's Elder care world. In trying to care for my Father's care needs, which should have been no big deal, considering the amount of money I've spent on facilities and attorneys tha past four years (over $750K). I am now bankrupt, my home is in foreclosure, and no one is at fault. I would also like to organize a National Advocacy group to support those of us who need a witness for filing claims against the facilities. There is no government hiarchy or watch dog in which to turn. It takes the health department over 3 weeks to investigate a complaint, and they go to the elder who has no memory of any of the charges and to the documentation in the home. All of my complaints have come back marked, "Allegations unsubstantiated". We are expected to take it in the wallet and be nice to those who betrayed us !
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Jander, if you haven't already, look at the National Citizens' Coalition for Nursing Home Reform at http://www.nccnhr.org/. There is also the Consumer Consortium on Assisted Living (CCAL).

Beth
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Dear Jander,
You may want to consider a Residential Care Home. From my experience, they are smaller facilities in residential neighborhoods. Usually 2 caregivers to 6 residents. It's more of a family like environment vs an institution. Also, google "senior placement Advisors in AZ". Placement Advisor services are generally free of charge, they are compensated by the Residential Care Homes or Asssited Living Facilities. One that I have come across is www.assistedlivinglocators.com. They show listings of facilities in your area. Once you find a facility that is a good fit for your Dad, try to lighten up and bond with the staff (kiss a little booty). They usually have good intentions, but are overworked and underpaid. Good Luck! You are absolutely right. I've been there. Surrender.
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TLMullon has good advice about a smaller home where your dad may get more attention. The problem, however, with staff in long-term care is the lack of training. They are indeed overworked and underpaid, and this reflects the lack of respect for such staff by the owners and company managers (not necessarily the administrators of the facilties).

Okay, I'm off my soapbox.
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If possible, find an Alzheimer's Caregiver Support Group in your area. Many of the problems you are facing with Assisted Living Facilities are because their staff are not trained or qualified to assist Alzheimer's patients. (He only has one arm and has Alzheimer's...duh!)If they represented themselves as being qualified to care for Alzheimer's patients then they DID scam you, but my guess is that the subject never came up during the admission process. (The care givers stated "I thought he could shower himself.")
If there are no Alzheimer Support Groups in your area, then get in touch with the Alzheimer's Association (http://www.alz.org) and you will find a lot of resources for dealing with the problems you describe. But focus on your needs. Don't try to take on the Institutions or Government agencies until you have own house in order. It wastes too much energy and you will fall along with your father.
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Because my husband Stewart is an attorney who defend people against elder abuse, I hear horror stories about what is going on in the nursing homes and the hospitals. Sometimes at home too. I often wondered why the damage has to be so great in order to gain action in court. Why do people sue only after the damage has been done?
The court will not consider a case if the elder person did not suffer a considerable damage. Sometimes lawyers will not take a case because the case is not "good" enough, meaning the damage is either hard to prove or is not terrible enough to convince the jury.
I always admire the mature persons who , being busy with their activities and responsibilities will do everything they can for their parents. Parents need us and very often , they have nobody else to protect them.
M Levin
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To set the record straight, when I say surrender, I mean surrender to the moment. I feel your passion and agree with your fight. However, you need to take care of your own Dad's immediate needs. Work with a Placement Advisor to get you Dad in a small assisted living facility or Residental Care Home. Bond with the staff and make them feel valued and appreciated. This is an industry that owners are made rich and management is well compensated. However, until the industry educates, values and compensates the hands on staff, we will never get the Quality of Care that our hard earned dollars pay for or that our loved ones so truly deserve. Best Wishes.
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wow that is horrible. I'm so sorry you are going through that. I was wondering, how bad are his needs besides toileting? Is he on dialysis? Because if he doesn't need nursing care per se, but more daily living, have you tried board and care homes or assisted living which are half the cost of nursing homes. I prefer board and care homes because there are usually 6 residents per home with 2 caregivers to assist them. It's not as "active" as a larger facility but my parents felt more at home there and they were watched more closely.
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I have spoken to several attorneys who won't do anything. They all state that I stepped in before long term damage was done. My elder law attorney advised me to take out a loan for $250K to cover the cost of Dad's care, telling me I could get reimbursed when i sold Dad's home. Well, the market dived and I lost out. I found out that Dad could have qualified all along for long term care without my contribution, which caused him to be denied. It has cost me everything materially that I have worked 40 years for. The attorney has no liability, even though he advised me incorrectly. Had I not taken the loan out, Dad could have been on long term care 3 years ago. The cost? My home, my life savings, and my business. I feel so betrayed by the system. I have given the past four years of my life to see that Dad has been taken care of. I must move on, or I will soon be in the streets. Nothing could have prepared me for such betrayal.
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My Mom was abused by the system for years and it had a tremendous affect on me and my family. As difficult and financially devasting as this has been on you, I can tell that you are strong. This experience may bring new meaning and purpose to your life. God Bless You and may your words have meaning and your story have power to envoke change.
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Jander get on line immediately and contact the better Business Buerau also contact your senator, contact the local new station I would go as far as to contact cnn and the equal rights association I would leave no stone unturned and if you can put an article in the local paper I would let them know I meant business and lead the way for better care for the elderly in your area, we are fortunate we have good nursing homes, sometimes they have poor employees but incident reports are written quite frequently and these people are fired as in any industry there are those that are only there for the paycheck and bigger doesn't always mean better. I wish you luck and if there is any research you need help with let me know and I will be glad to help you.
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I have contacted both Oprah and Dr Phil. I have had a response from Dr Phil. I wrote the Attorney General and was invited to become a lobbyist, but was sadly informed that the elder care industry is mostly unregulated. I'm not aware of any equal rights association. I have contacted the local TV station and the newspaper, but they are afraid of law suits and don't want to get involved. This is pretty straight forward abuse, and very few folks want to get involved or even listen. I attend an Alzheimer's support group locally and the leader informed me that "some of us just choose to be miserable" I came home and cried my eyes out, then decided she wasn't worth it, and literally wanted to kill her. So many of the folks in elder care have never been in my shoes. They are young college educated professionals with absolutely no concept or experience. I would like to start a training (boot camp) for everyone in the elder care industry. You would have to be a resident in an elder care facility for 24 hours, Go to the bathroom at care giver conveneince, not when needed, wear glasses that changed your perception, earplugs to prevent you from hearing, with one arm tied to your waist, and wear a splint on one leg, to make to difficult to stand, with beans in your shoes for discomfort. Of course, you would have to be escorted to the toilet, and be stripped of your clothing and be bathed by someone you don't know.

This isn't harsh, it's reality for our elders who endure this humiliation every day. They sit in urine for hours, because no one will assist them to the bathroom. Their teeth are half gone, because no one will assist in brushing. They smell because they haven't been showered. They are served food that you or I or even the care takers would not eat themselves. Please pray for me that my experience can make a difference for millions of elders who are suffering this injustice every single day.
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check this out

Elder Abuse Information: Reporting Elder Abuse
You need not sacrifice the health and safety of your elderly loved one; report any incidents of elder abuse or neglect.

www.elder-abuse-information.com/news/news_122403_abuse_reports.htm
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this one is specifically for reporting facilities

What are the warning signs of elder abuse? Where to Report Nursing Home abuse? Is it a Crime? What is Adult Protective Services? How does the APS System Work?

www.ncea.aoa.gov ·
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I have called Adult Protective Services many, many times. The problem is that they can not prove allegations agaisnt the facilities. They speak to the resident (lelder) who is usually not consistant, and does not remember, then they check out the documentation from the facilites. They know what is going on, but can not get enough evidence to prosecute. i provided my daily log of incidents to the Health Department, and they told me they would not take the time to read it. Until the senior is credible these perpetrators go unpunished. We need an advocacy group that can be there when the abuse is taking place, that will substantiate the families story. It is my experience, that the facility discounts the family member, makes personal accussions against them and then changes documentation to cover their assets. It's a dirty business. Since I am the only visitor, family member, friend, etc, I have no back up. it's my word against theirs. There's much to be done! When you can't remember correctly, you are a prime target for abuse and neglect.
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can you have a little camera installed?
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I'd like to think that the entire world of eldercare is not comprised of scam artists. Having said that, I've run into more "scoundrels" than I care to admit. There are still some people out there who care . The key is to do your homework in advance. The federal Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services provides a lot of good information, including rankings of nursing homes according to pre-determined criteria. Also, every county (sometimes a group of counties, if they're small) has its own Area Agency on Aging (AAA), which agencies are funded by the State in which they are located. Each AAA employs an Ombudsman, whose sole responsibility is to respond to and investigate complaints about the care of older adults, whether in a nursing home, an assisted living facility, or at home. If you have ANY indication that elder abuse or neglect is occurring, you must report it to your Area Agency on Aging. Finally, if all else fails, try contacting your state's Department of Aging or Department of Public Health. Hopefully this helps.
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I am personally acquainted with the Ombudsmen in Az as well as the APS agency. I am told "You know too much". Again nothing can be done, unless the facility is willing to cooperate. I was just told by the ombudsman that she can not "force" a facility to return my refundable deposit. She uses her persuassion, but has no real power. Short of a law suit, which for me right now is not financially feasible, these perpetrators go unpunished. Believe me I have tried all avenues. including private legal counsel, to a tune of $250K. Nothing has been done. We need advocates who are willing to take the abuse public.
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Have you tried BBB? I highly recommend it they have helpd me in the past. and I might add quickly
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I thought of them yesterday, since I know the group homes are a member. I am going to call to see who is a member and how to file a complaint. I also posted a review on the google search when I researched the facility.

I did check out your website, however, the firm does not practice in AZ. A legal battle is tough unless you have broken bones, death or a tangible form of bodily injury. Fraud for not performing personal care is not considered a legal issue. I always step in prior to death, ie: congestive heart failure, after the nurse refused to call the doctor when Dad's ankle had swelled to the size of his thigh, which resulted in another Hospice round and 7 days of hospitalization, and resulted in congestive heart failure.
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