My mother is 76 and has had a rough last 7 years. There is a combination of many health issues but since about 6 months ago her heart was stopping periodically for short spurts and she needed a pacemaker. However, at one time the heart stopped for 26 seconds and since then her incontinence has gotten even worse. Not to mention she has become more forgetful periodically. She is living in her own apartment but has a nurse that comes 3 times a week and a occupational therapist come 2 times a week, and a physical therapist comes 2 times a week. She has bowel accidents ALL THE TIME. Her carpet is full of poop stains. She soils the bed every night. She wears depends all the time now and uses bed pads but it just doesn't seem to be enough. My sister and I cannot take her anywhere without there being an explosive bowel issue. ITs very embarrassing and difficult to deal with especially considering I have such a weak stomach to such things. I just don't know when the right time is to maybe put her in a nursing home where she would be in a cleaner environment and people can take care of her all the time. My sister and I both work full time so we cannot look after her like she needs.
I am sorry to hear about your mother and her health problems. Incontinence is a challenge to care for. Here are a few AgingCare.com articles that will help you care for your mother a little better. Best of luck.
How to Control Incontinence
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/managing-incontinence-144710.htm
How-To Handle Awkward Incontinence Incidences
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/handle-incontinence-incidences-148442.htm
And our own special incontinence section: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/handle-incontinence-incidences-148442.htm