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I've been posting on this forum for a few weeks now. My mother was in end-of-life care since September 28. It was so stressful and depressing to see her wasting away. It was a blessing that she went. As I mentioned in another post, I am only child (male) who had been taking care of my mother since my father passed away 21 years ago, so there is grief but no guilt on my part.


I posted that I was somewhat numb when she first went into EOL care, but we went to her apartment in AL today and I just lost it. She had a second floor apartment that overlooked the entrance and during the height of Covid, when I couldn't go in, I would call her from the parking lot and would see her little hand waving out the window while we talked. So I first lost it when I looked at her window from the parking lot. Then when we went inside and she was no longer there I couldn't hold back. The reality set in.


As some have advised, she did rally at the end and was completely lucid and talkative so even though I knew the time was coming I still wasn't expecting it. I am just happy I sat with her and told how much I loved her and how she contributed to my success as a person.


So, I'm really posting this to thank everyone in this forum who has been so helpful when it comes to input and advice. I don't think I could have survived the past month without you.


I really feel for so many caregivers out there who are going through much more than I did. Those who have parents with Alzheimer's, those who have disagreeable siblings... heck, those with disagreeable parents. My only advice is to try to make time for yourselves as you go through this journey. It will help keep you sane through this very difficult time.


Thank you for helping me get through!

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I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear mom. I'm sure she knew you were there with her and heard your words of love. Please take time to rest and grieve.
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I am so sorry you have lost your sweet mom. I know you will miss her presence in your life. I’m glad the forum was here for you and that you were able to find others who understand the struggle and the loss.
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Sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers sent with a hug.
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I am so sorry for your loss.

I am touched by your words and your love for her. It really is the little things in life - “the little wave from the window” played like a movie in my head as if I could see it. On a hard journey you just keep letting those moments lead you through the grief - they will be like warm hugs from her🙏🏼🦋
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My sincere condolences on your loss, dseag. I'm glad this forum was useful to you, and that we were able to provide you with good advice and input over the past few weeks.

Sending you a big hug and a prayer for peace in the coming days. Take comfort in knowing that you were a wonderful son to your beloved mom.
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((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

Condolences. I'm so sorry

Blessings to you

She is not in pain anymore.
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((((((hugs))))) and sincerest condolences
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So sorry for your loss. Take comfort in knowing you did all you could to show your mother how much you loved her. I know how our emotions can come out of left field. We think we're handling things...then suddenly we're in a flood of tears. We think we're ready but I don't think we ever really are for the finality of it.

Carry on knowing your mother was thankful for the wonderful son she had.
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I am so sorry for your loss.

May The Lord give you grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.
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So sorry for you loss.
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Oh, dseag2, my condolences on your great loss. The beauty of this forum is the support and guidance its members provide. My mother passed three years ago and I’m open about telling people this forum saved my life.

Be gentle with yourself. Take time just for yourself.

May sweet memories of your mother bring you peace.
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dseag- you are a wonderful son and your mother knows how much you love her as she loves you, too. She is now at peace. I am glad to read that you have no guilt which many people feel after their loved ones pass on.

Be kind to yourself as you grieve, mourn and heal from your loss. I am also wondering how your cousin (who was very close to your mom) is doing. She's most likely grieving, too.
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Your mother was truly blessed to have you look after her until the end. She knew you loved her, and you can't ask for more than that.
Take this time now to take care of yourself, and grieve the mother you loved. You will discover that you have become a better person because if the journey you had with your mother. God bless you and keep you.
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Dseag, I'm so sorry for your loss.    You're not alone in being overwhelmed by grief when you enter your deceased mother's apartment.    Please know that that's natural, and a reflection of your love, closeness and now grief.    It's certainly unpleasant and challenging though.

I hope as time passes your thoughts will turn to the good memories you have, the bonds you both created, and the fact that she's no longer suffering.

Peace and solace to you.
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Deseag, big ((((((hugs))))) to you. Be gentle with yourself in the coming days, weeks and months.

Grief jumps up and pokes you in the eye at the oddest times, in my experience. Don't let anyone tell you to "get over it already".
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My deepest condolences to you. How lucky your mother was to have such a loving son.
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So sorry for your loss, losing a beloved mother is a unique pain. Your mother was blessed to have your love and care. I wish you peace and the comfort of good memories
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I'm so sorry for your loss. What a blessing that you were with her while she had her lucid rally. May you receive comfort from her loving memory and peace in your heart.
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Condolences on your loss. I’m glad she had a peaceful passing, and that you were able to say a pleasant goodbye.

HUGS.
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dseag, I'm so sorry for your loss today. Please take care of yourself now. Allow yourself time to rest and grieve knowing that you did good by your mother.

God Bless!
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