I don't think I have posted before but I read everyday and the help for my peace of mind has been awesome.
My mom lives with us. She is 92 and has dementia, cancer and heart failure. After 3 1/2 years she is moving to an Adult Family Home. It suddenly became necessary for our health. My husband has been awesome in helping but he had back surgery and can not lift anything. Mom is getting more unsteady and feeble. Plus the arguments over pills and such.
So after much soul searching we decided on the move.
The place is nice and fairly close. We can visit a couple times a week or more. However we will be able to get our life back. Didn't want to do this but I realized I was more unhappy than I needed to be.
Yes the guilt is there but the relief that she will be well taken care of is a welcomed change. Or place just isn't safe for her anymore without major reconstruction.
So on to straightening out her paperwork and talking with the Elder Lawyer. Mom will be happier without me around all the time and others besides us to talk to.
Thank you so much everyone.
Good luck to you and take care of yourself and husband.
I am at the same stage with my aunt.
Lots of activity there. She doesn't remember who I am thinks I am the person who used to take care of her. Thinks my husband is her daddy. All ok. She is fine when we are not there.
My guilt is finally gone however I do miss my mom we all do. I have been able to visit her just 2 times. We had a horrible snow storm that has gone on for over 9 days. Yes I live just outside Seattle. Stupid snow. Just glad mom is in her new place now instead of here. There is no way if she got hurt EMTs could get here.
Once again a giant thank you for just being here and I was able to keep my sanity.
NO GUILT is necessary. Your mother is looked after. You and your husband get your lives back. Win win for everyone.
Time to take care of your health. And enjoy your time free of caregiving.