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"Mom and dad go to the doctor and the doctor thinks they're fine. We come home and they have problems." This is a question I see here frequently.


Well, I am THAT mom and can tell you how I feel and perhaps give some insight.


I drive and usually they seem okay and independent BUT there are times I'm vague and wonder what I'm doing. So I go to the doctor or someplace else, by myself and adrenaline kicks in and I am with-it and knowledgeable and just fine, no problems.


Usually.


Sometimes, while I'm in the waiting room. I begin to feel overwhelmed and start to get confused untill I see the doctor who asks specific questions that I can concentrate on one at a time. It’s not an “I've got a lot to do” feeling like when I was younger, it’s just overwhelming and confusing, or at least starting to be that way.


Perhaps it’s anxiety?


Maybe that's your parent too and why it’s difficult for the doctor to understand that mom/dad have problems away from the office?

Hi Betsysue - thank you for the insight - that's helpful information.

Wishing you all the very best ~
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Perhaps it is anxiety. Have you told your doctor how you feel?

You should discuss all of your symptoms and concerns during your appointment.

You can write notes beforehand and address them one by one just like you answered questions.

Best of luck to you.
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Perhaps it's anxiety or perhaps it's the start of some mental decline.
Please don't be afraid to tell your doctor what is going on with you, as they can't help you if you're not honest with them.
Best wishes.
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The way I see it is that doctors don't have the time necessary anymore to spend with patients. They focus on looking for something obvious that they can fix. They are cheery and upbeat and they "kiss off" patients quickly saying everything's fine as fast as they can. If you believe that something is fundamentally wrong go back and insist you need bloodwork etc to rule out issues with underlying conditions.

Also it's a valid point that some kind of prescription medication might help with your anxiety. When a person has anxiety it's normal to go into mild mental gridlock and become less able to do the day to day tasks at hand. You may find yourself standing in front of a kitchen cabinet wondering why you went there in the first place.

Sadly, If the concern is that your mental health is declining there's not much that can done about it anyway. You can get a referral to a Neurologist (and wait six months for their next appointment - grrrr). The Neurologist will assess and general steps can be taken to plan for your future.

If you feel yourself slowly declining mentally, maybe it's not a bad idea to start making some plans on your own right now (?). Think about whether it's still safe for you to drive, and whether you might want to explore assisted living facilities. Maybe get on the waiting list at facilities that you like the most. Maybe see an Elder Care Attorney and get all your legal stuff up to date regarding future finances and medical care directives.

And then maybe have a little martini, and just enjoy the here and now for awhile. Listen to the birds sing outside, play some lovely music.
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