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I’m sure many of us have the person who doesn’t go anywhere or do anything. Who doesn’t want people in the house and also is difficult to visit with.


Last year I got her things like a toilet bowl light (that was a hit). She is also particular about things she uses so it’s not like I can get her some big fluffy towels. She doesn’t like big fluffy towels. She likes threadbear small towels she has had since 1968.


I’ve already gotten her things like a grabber and a jar and a can opener. I tried good sturdy shoes last year but she doesn’t like good sturdy shoes.


Help! Thank you

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Ha. Get her a potty squatty stool. She'll thank you!
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Good idea, Alva! I want one lol
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Southernwaver, I LOVE my stool! Amazing to me. And I spent years poking at Gwyneth Paltrow for suggesting such a thing. Honestly changed my life.
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Soft warm ankle-high bed socks. I just bought six pairs for $5.98 at Walmart online.

A homecooked meal for the freezer. She can heat it in the microwave. I've used meatless noodle casseroles for this in the past. Lasagna with meat works fine too.

When you run out of practical things, there's always a cut floral arrangement, a bakery treat or chocolates. Sometimes there are reasons not to give these, such as allergy, but they are special items that we wouldn't order or buy for ourselves, so they're often welcomed with pleasure.

I certainly wouldn't gift a plant that needs to be ongoingly cared for! Or anything else that requires much effort.
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The "microfiber or "sport's towels" are thinner than a regular terry towel and are super absorbent. I have a couple of these and I love them.
I also use the microfiber "cleaning" cloths as a face towel in the shower. they are super soft and hold a LOT of lather.

You can make a "gift certificate" like:
Good for an afternoon of "can you do this for me"....
Good for can we just sit and chat for a while.

A pretty lap blanket. (I have these on almost every piece of furniture. I keep my thermostat pretty low and the light blankets are awesome)

A pretty plant, not cut flowers but a plant that is easy enough to care for.
(things like Hen's and Chick's are easy to care for, almost to the point of neglect and they can be planted outside and will do well/survive winters)

Fluffy socks with gripper bottoms. Keep the feet warm and are safe to walk with less risk of slipping.
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SW,

I am giggling at your ‘big fluffy towels’ remarks.

You are so correct! My mom couldn’t lift thick, heavy towels. They were too much of a struggle for her. All of the old people I know prefer thin, cheap towels!
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My mom loves the battery pack we got her for her recliner's lift up seat motor. She was afraid of being stuck in her chair during a power outage. Currently it's used as the back up power for her hospice hospital bed. Her caregiver wants another one for the internet router.
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My daughter reminded us that we got her a squatty potty a few years ago and she hates it. Lol. She put it in the guest bathroom.

She does like to read and I found this book with great reviews about a 76 year old lady who hiked.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0988518678/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
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How about a digital photo album with family photos loaded and automatically rotate

If LO uses a cell phone , how about a charger pad they can just sit it on so they don’t have to deal with sticking the charger wire in the little hole, or look for a charging wire .
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Not a gosh darn thing.

MIL's got my DH on speed dial, her needs come first, I'm a distant second--so distant I don't even count.

Not that gifts are 'earned' or 'deserved' but they should come from the heart.

For 48 years I have bought Mother's Day, Birthday and Christmas Gifts. Had to spend at least $200 for DH to feel it was 'enough'. My own mom usually got something worth about $20. She would have hated if I'd spent more!

DH is on his own this year. I think he will forget, and that's fine.

If she's not happy with his mind and soul and tired old body, then IDK what would make her happy.

Just as a thought--her last gift to me (5 years ago) was a bank envelope that, for all the other 'kids' held a crsip $100 bill. My envelope was empty. To say that hurt is an understatement. And yes, it was ON PURPOSE. It would have been better to have simply been left out. Embarassing, to say the least.
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Mid,

Geeeeeeez! I am so sorry that you had the misfortune of having such a horrible mother in law.

I had the opposite experience. My MIL always told me that I was the daughter that she never had. She treated me like her daughter. I lost her too soon, age 68, to non Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

She was a terrific mother, MIL and grandmother! We were truly blessed to have her in our lives.
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Yeah--me too!

The 'empty envelope' was witnessed by a neighbor, which made it all the sadder/funnier. MIL had given DH 'my' envelope and he stuck it in his shirt pocket. A little later in the day, we were helping neighbor do some odd job in his garage, Dh bent over and the envelope came sliding out. He picked it up and said "Oh, yeah, mom wanted me to give this to you." So I open it, and--nothing. I laughed so hard I about fell over. DH just sighed and said "Ugh, what can you do with her?" Our neighbor was astounded and said "I'd go right up to her house and demand my gift!"

Seriously?

Her point was well made and we have laughed over that for years.

I have to laugh, b/c it's just so 'her'. Message received.
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Mid,

I can’t remember where I read it. It could have been an ancient Dear Abby or Ann Landers advice column in the newspaper.

Someone recommended to leave two pennies on the table for the waitress if they received bad service.

Meaning, that if they didn’t leave anything, the waitress could think that the customer simply forgot to leave the tip.

The empty envelope was your mother in law’s way of giving her two cents worth opinion about you!

So glad that you have a wonderful sense of humor because that woman isn’t worth fretting over. She’s a bitter, hateful woman who only wants to bring misery into others lives. So sad.
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This year, FIL is getting our Christmas card with a picture inside of hubby and me. Nope, not even a frame. He can do what he wants with the picture. But after him slandering my husband last year at Christmas, I'm done with him. Best thing about the picture is how happy my husband and I look now that we've moved back home. They say the best revenge is living well and that picture screams that loud and clear.
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I have a suggestion due to my own stupidity revealed . Last evening I visited a friend ( former neighbor) who is in her mid seventies and has breast cancer . She had a lumpectomy and is going through chemo and has been telling me (via text ) that she has been doing well . I should also say that she is a very good 74. You would not think she was her age . I brought her a wrapped gift . Her hands were too weak to unwrap it .
Lesson learned . Don’t wrap gifts for the ill or elderly . Use a gift bag .
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We have the same issues with my mother-in-law. She never wants to throw away anything! Grocery gift card maybe or something in the house that really needs to be replaced. Of course she often has placed our gifts in her closet never to be seen again! I even thought of giving her a canister of Metamucil but decided she’d get mad!
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