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I started some public speaking on caregiving because I feel there are a lot of people who don't have access to computers. I am starting with "How to Have Heart to Heart Talks" with loved ones to reduce or eliminate the #1 cause of hurt - unmet expectations.

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I wish someone had told me long ago that I didn't have to accept discharge of my mother from the hospital if I thought they hadn't addressed the problem. I think a lot of people out there need to know that there are choices about caregiving; I hear so many people say "I had to take my mother home with me, we had no choice". Yes, I belive that people need to know how to talk to family so that family will listen. I also think that caregivers, if they are taking someone into their home, or if they are moving into someone's home, need a clear set of responsibilities laid out before hand. But they also need to realize that if the patient has dementia, the patient is going to deteriorate.
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My advice to you would be 15 minutes of you talking and another 30 taking questions...advising some of those that you can discuss further on your email. (There will be some complicated questions.)
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Thank you Ba8alou for your response. Your comment is one of the exact reasons I am doing this project in my community. I was a hospice nurse for 19 years but had a terrible time getting the hospital to accept my mother's advance directives. I thought, "If I have this much trouble, how would the average caregiver deal with this issue." You made some very important other points too and I will add them into my presentation. Thank you again! Patty
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Thank you MaggieMarshall for your answers to my question! I agree that we should talk less and listen more. Just because we "think" we know what people need to know or want to hear, doesn't mean that is true. We will certainly listen and hope to learn what is important to "them." Thanks again.
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Our most frequent questions on the group involve how to stay afloat financially when caregiving and the rules involving Medicaid. I think those two subjects would interest many caregivers. There could be talk about what programs are available that could offer some financial support for caregivers, or what they may need to do to draw up a caregiving agreement to be paid by the care receiver. Of it could simply be good advice to not quit their present job. People are eager to learn what the alternatives are.

The talk on Medicaid could be both national and are specific. What are the requirements in the area? What is spend-down? How does it all work if someone is in a nursing home? What is Medicaid recovery? Under what conditions do caregivers have a right to keep a house in an area? These questions come up often here.
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A discussion on how not to feel so guilty when we cannot help as much as our parent(s) would like us to help when we work full time outside of the home.

Or for those who do take in their parent(s) to Care for them 24/7 then find out it is too exhausting and therefore time for a professional facility.
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What caregivers should know about dementia.

It grieves me to see how many people think their loved one is manipulative or attention-seeking or lying when in fact the behavior is related to a malfunction in the brain!

It is not surprising but it is unproductive when people (including some medical professionals) think all dementia is the same, and all of it is like Alzheimer's.

You certainly can't cover all there is to know about dementia in one short talk, but you could convey the basics and also come armed with information about other resources, including local caregiver support groups.
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As for the heart-to-heart talks, good topic, but by the time we are caregivers that may be a little late. That is really a pre-caregiving topic. :) It also seems more applicable to taking care of one's parents than taking care of a spouse. (Which isn't a bad thing, but it might be promoted on that basis.) By the time I knew my husband had dementia, I would not have been interested in a talk about heart-to-heart talks.
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I wish someone would have told me when I was 50 what to expect when my parents reached their later years to I could learn about at a easier pace then cramming for an exam like I feel I am doing now.

I had nothing to gage old age on as I was rarely around my late grandparents as they lived way out-of-state. I always thought my parents would be mobile and active at 90 as they were at 70 and 80. Boy was I blindsided.
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im with jeanne . few people can care for dementia patients and those who do have much to learn . i attended 2 meetings of an alz seminar just to reaffirm the things id been reading . that affirmation sent me home with much improved confidence . senior care in any capacity is an aquired skill . teach empathy , it was my most helpful tool .. i see it in the " better " nh employees even now .
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