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Hi everyone. It’s been a hard 10 days. Mom is actually, surprisingly doing much better. She does have food and outdoor allergies, so started her with removing milk and cheese products, anything with flour or grain, and went on soft/ mushy foods reintroducing foods (veges & fruits) one at a time until it was confirmed she was having no problem with that particular food. She has about 25 food items she can now eat and is keeping them down, adding at least one or two new ones per day. Her phlegm has slowed down but she still uses a large box of Kleenex every 1 1/2 days.
“Thank you” for all of your helpful and concerning replies. Wonderful to know this caring network is available to Caregivers.
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AlvaDeer Apr 21, 2024
Did you check on all this with her doctor, Fieldhouse? That's my main concern.
Thanks so much for your feedback; we are thinking about you.
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Fieldhouse:
Can you update us?
Have you seen/talked to a doctor yet about this swallow deficit issue?
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Secretions are common.
A person with dementia can "forget" how to swallow or fluids and sometimes food that is supposed to get swallowed are taken into the lungs, aspiration.
If she is having this problem with foods you can thicken thin foods and fluids.
Stopping eating and drinking are also steps that the body takes as End Of Life begins. The body no longer needs the nutrients and she will not feel hunger like you or I would. She will not feel thirst as we would either.
If she does not want to eat or drink, do not force it. You can offer but not force.
A swab with water to moisten the mouth is good.

Do you have Hospice? They would be of great help. they will have a Nurse come in at least 1 time a week, a CNA will come at least 2 times a week and she / he will give mom a bath or shower (or bed bath) and order supplies that will be delivered.
They are a great support.
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Contact her MD.
I do not know if she is home (with you) or in a facility.
No regular water. Only thickened water.
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As all the answers here, I advise you to seek urgent medical advice and to have a swallow evaluation done.
My mum was recently hospitalised with aspiration pneumonia, and it's amazing that she ever pulled through.
However, not eating could be the next step.
I think that acceptance will be the best way for you to cope with the next stage of your mum's illness. It's horrible to see our loved ones not eating, but we just have to make them as comfortable as possible.
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fieldhouse: Speak to her physician posthaste as this is deemed a medical emergency.
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I went to the samething with my husband also his nurse order HYOSCYAMINE to reduce secretion . My husband stop eating also only little Jello and some protien drink. Unfortunelly was 5 days he passed this week.
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Dupedwife Apr 19, 2024
So sorry for your loss.
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See 2 more replies
Talk to the Doctor!
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A care facility where they know how to deal with the issue. You can visit her, make sure she is getting the care she needs. It is a very difficult time for you. Step aside love her, remember the good times.
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If there are underlying conditions that may cause your mom to struggle to breathe, ask her doctor for recommendations. You may have to seek hospice care. Once a patient is unable to eat or swallow, the dementia has advanced. You don't want her to suffer.
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Riverdale Apr 19, 2024
She could also choke even from drinking. I do advise you to seek hospice advice at least. I realize this must be a very emotional time for you but the proper care for your mother with her medical issues should be considered first and very soon. It could make the difference in a possible passing in peace instead of suffering which in time may provide you with a more serene sense of closing to the extent that is possible.

My mother passed almost a year ago. I took a picture of the last image of her tray table. Her water was left untouched.
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Sounds similar to what my 104-yr old Aunt has been experiencing for the past few years. It never happens at breakfast, and doesn't always happen at lunch and dinner, but dinner it happens more often. We could never figure out what it was (not GERD, not swallow reflex, not allergies) so here is what she has:

https://www.pennmedicine.org/for-patients-and-visitors/patient-information/conditions-treated-a-to-z/zenkers-diverticulum

This is fixed by surgery and my Aunt (who has most of her cognitive faculties) has declined treatment. She still gets enough nutrition down to be mobile and healthy but it is torturous to watch her having to gurgle and spit out food along with a whole bunch of clear saliva (or whatever). Sounds like your Mom is not a candidate for treatment, if this is what she has.
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This could all be true but she could also have allergies. We are caring for someone that is spitting up phlegm in the spring and summer not in the winter probably not what’s causing it but just thought I’d interject that.
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I’d be talking with her doctor right away. Has she entered hospice yet? It might be that she’s taking a turn toward the stage where it’s necessary.
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she may be able.to eat thickened liquids and soups. You can get this at a pharmacy. BUT as.others have said, this is a extremely serious situation that needs to be evaluated immediately before aspiration pneumonian sets in or gets worse.
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Discuss with doctor. This is an emergency situation and no further feeding should be done until MD/medical team is contacted.

This could be pneumonia with the increase in phlegm and if so could be due to aspiration of foodstuff into the lung.
This means no more food until you speak directly with MD, so do call urgent care or advice RN for immediate followup on this.
A swallow deficit means that a swallow evaluation needs to be done. It can often be done in home by OT personnel initially. If they find evidence of a deficit there may need to be tranport to hospital for further swallow testing.
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Yes, as waytomisery said below, please have your mom's swallowing tested, as her food and drink may be going into her lungs, thus causing aspiration pneumonia. And that is usually fatal.
My late husband who also had vascular dementia, developed aspiration pneumonia in 2018 and almost died. And because he almost died, he developed sepsis and septic shock and was bedridden until his death in 2020.
The doctor at the ER told me that because of my husbands dementia that his brain was no longer telling his throat to close when eating or drinking, thus allowing his food and drink to go directly into his lungs instead of his stomach.
It's very serious so please call her doctor today to get her swallowing tested.
And it may also be time to bring hospice on board. My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life.
I'm quite sure that your mom would qualify for their assistance now.
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She may be having trouble swallowing . She needs a swallow evaluation . Purée foods and thickened liquids will possibly be needed , and not solids . Again you need a professional swallow evaluation. She may have aspiration pneumonia , she may be dehydrated as well . Take her to the ER asap . From there you may want to consider placement in a facility or hospice depending on what the docs say .
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fieldhouse Apr 12, 2024
“Thank You.” Just felt the need to reach out to others and see their thoughts. Was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Very much appreciate your input and reply.
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