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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Not sure how to handle this situation that is escalating rapidly. She is out of state, but wants to visit, and wants him to marry her. We suspect "for money."
How has your Dad communicated that he wants to marry his former girlfriend? If you are caring for him, you can deny her visit, or have someone at his home at all times who will deny her access. From the limited information you have shared, though, it is unclear whether your Dad wants this, or not, and how independent he is in living aside from being speech impaired.
Isabel is right - give us more info about your dad's abilities and wishes. If he's got dementia then it's not a good idea to see the "girl friend". This might sound mean but I'd do what I could to "discourage" the visit - if the gal is also older, she might have difficulty getting around. If she asks for your help to travel, tell her it's not convenient; find some excuse or tell her you're taking your dad out of town for a family visit at the same time she wants to visit. If possible, screen his mail.
Without knowing more about their relationship, and her age and condition, it's hard to know what to say. I'd be suspicious too but don't want to poo poo any ideas that might enhance your dad's quality of life - provided it's some responsible person who he'll enjoy and won't take him to the cleaners. It could be that the old gal is just "wishful thinking" and neither realizes they are forgetful and beginning to decline.
This is bad news.Block any coresspondence with her and politely advise her you do not think her relatioship with your Father should continue. Red Flags popping up all over this!!!
I agree. Red flags all over this! Do you have a durable power of attorney? If not, get one. What does he say about her? When was she his girlfriend. Many years ago? recently? She should be discouraged from making a visit. You could tell her just about anything to keep her from visiting. Is he physically & emotionally fit to have a visitor? Dr.'s orders, not a convienient time, What is her health like? Does she need care? Would you be caring for both of them? I am sure he would enjoy company, but this just doesn't sound like a good idea. the list goes on and on.
I'm an 89 year old stroke victim. I had my stroke 10 years ago. I can speak OK (with a slight impediment) I need a cane or a walker to get around, even for short distances. My right hand functions at about 50% and I need Dragon Naturally Speaking to write anything on the computer. I'm the caregiver for my wife of 63 years, who has the cerebral vascular disease (not Alzheimer's, but has the same short term memory problems.) My wife is 88 and is a lot more physically fit than I. She is in some respects, my caregiver. Last night she carried a case of beer upstairs for me. I retired as an investigator 2 years ago.To keep busy, I have been studying digital security. Currently, in concert with some other old guys, I am looking at possible solutions to these horrible school shootings.
My point here is that old age and physical infirmity should not be confused with a diminished mental capacity or the loss of a need for emotional support and love. Be sure he is unable to make competent decisions before you try to "save" him.
Her profile says that Dad has ALZ/Dementia. If so, he cannot enter into a legal marriage. He has to be aware of what he is doing. I would write her and make her aware of this. You could also say that his income as such will not support another person. Eventually he will need more care and any money he may have will need to place him in an AL. She will back off.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Without knowing more about their relationship, and her age and condition, it's hard to know what to say. I'd be suspicious too but don't want to poo poo any ideas that might enhance your dad's quality of life - provided it's some responsible person who he'll enjoy and won't take him to the cleaners. It could be that the old gal is just "wishful thinking" and neither realizes they are forgetful and beginning to decline.
I'm an 89 year old stroke victim. I had my stroke 10 years ago. I can speak OK (with a slight impediment) I need a cane or a walker to get around, even for short distances. My right hand functions at about 50% and I need Dragon Naturally Speaking to write anything on the computer. I'm the caregiver for my wife of 63 years, who has the cerebral vascular disease (not Alzheimer's, but has the same short term memory problems.) My wife is 88 and is a lot more physically fit than I. She is in some respects, my caregiver. Last night she carried a case of beer upstairs for me. I retired as an investigator 2 years ago.To keep busy, I have been studying digital security. Currently, in concert with some other old guys, I am looking at possible solutions to these horrible school shootings.
My point here is that old age and physical infirmity should not be confused with a diminished mental capacity or the loss of a need for emotional support and love. Be sure he is unable to make competent decisions before you try to "save" him.