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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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How do we stop my hoarding, addicted, OCD, shopaholic elderly mother from using up me and sisters inheritance on tv shopping, and catalogue ordering. She burned 1 down already, the reason she's in assisted living now.. this is terrible!
A more appropriate question would be: "How do we stop my hoarding...elderly mother from spending her money on tv shopping and catalogue ordering because she needs to pay for her care in the Assisted Living facility (and any future care in a nursing home)?"
Unless your Mom is declared incompetent and you or your sisters have Financial Power of Attorney, you can't. Not unless you petition for guardianship of your Mom which cost money to do.
Where are the items that she buys being delivered to---the Assisted Living facility? What do you mean by "She burned 1 down already"?
Talk to the Social Service Department at the Assisted Living facility and let them know that you think your Mom is spending all of her money tv shopping instead of paying the facility for her care. Who is paying your Mom's Assisted Living bill now? Her or You?
Forget about your inheritance, your priority is making sure that your Mom receives proper care during the last years of her life.
Burned down what? A house? If no one has control of Mom’s finances but her, then there isn’t much you can do. If you don’t have POA or any other documents saying you are responsible for her finances, you can’t take her money, checks, credit cards away from her. If she lives in Assisted Living, there should be some rules as to how much she can have in her rooms/apartment. Go to the administrator of the facility and tell them Mom is accumulating too much stuff and you are afraid st some point the situation will become at least unhealthy and even dangerous for her and the other residents. Ask if Mom had could have a psych evaluation. They may wind up placing her in a skilled nursing facility or even memory care.
What burned down? Was the fire related to hoarding? Or do you mean she's already burned through the funds of one major asset?
The money in your mother's accounts is not your inheritance. It doesn't become that until she dies. Until then she can spend it as she pleases. And as long as she spends it on herself, it won't make her ineligible for Medicaid should that need arise. If she were to give it to you, for example, that would incur a penalty from Medicaid.
How costly is the facility? I hear of some as high as $8,000 per month. This can deplete a small retirement fund quickly. As previous post Medicaid may come into play. My parents both inherited money from their parents but all of the money is mostly gone now. I worry that at some point I could be responsible for my estranged mother’s bills.
You are not responsible for parents bills. Don't even get involved. If you are estranged there is a reason. Don't call collectors or credit card companies. Once they have ur number they will be relentless. If they happen to find you. Tell them you are not responsible and not to call you again. If they do, tell them you will report them to the FTC.
As Ahmijoy mentioned, try to get her heIp. Don't know if you would want to use nursing home counselor/staff member but it might pay to bring in a social worker to evaluate conditions in her unit and give her advice and any appropriate warnings. It's her penalty and/or consequences to deal with. Does the town in which the nursing home is have social worker services? Find out if medicare would cover any kind of counseling or hoarder rehab.
Hoarders are tough because you have to help them with their issues and deal with all the stuff. Dealing with a similar issue in which a senior has stored stuff for a hoarder for years before he realized she had a problem. Not only has he spent numerous hours helping/enabling her to pass basic safety inspections in her apartment he has to deal with 2 bedrooms worth of stuff at his house.
im going thru this with my grandmother she must have spent thousands on qvc also Walmart just buying tons of clothes,batteries and other things even underwear I just finished getting rid of the majority of clothes there was at least 50 bags worth I had to rent a uhaul cargo van just to get it all outta the house.
It is not your inheritance, it is her money to use as she pleases. Once she dies, anything left over will go to whomever she leaves it in her will.
I have a hoarding parent and although there is nothing I can do to stop the behaviour, I have never thought of him as spending 'my' money. I am horrified at the mess my brother and I will have to clear up once he dies, It will cost the estate thousands to clear it all out.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Unless your Mom is declared incompetent and you or your sisters have Financial Power of Attorney, you can't. Not unless you petition for guardianship of your Mom which cost money to do.
Where are the items that she buys being delivered to---the Assisted Living facility? What do you mean by "She burned 1 down already"?
Talk to the Social Service Department at the Assisted Living facility and let them know that you think your Mom is spending all of her money tv shopping instead of paying the facility for her care. Who is paying your Mom's Assisted Living bill now? Her or You?
Forget about your inheritance, your priority is making sure that your Mom receives proper care during the last years of her life.
The money in your mother's accounts is not your inheritance. It doesn't become that until she dies. Until then she can spend it as she pleases. And as long as she spends it on herself, it won't make her ineligible for Medicaid should that need arise. If she were to give it to you, for example, that would incur a penalty from Medicaid.
Hoarders are tough because you have to help them with their issues and deal with all the stuff. Dealing with a similar issue in which a senior has stored stuff for a hoarder for years before he realized she had a problem. Not only has he spent numerous hours helping/enabling her to pass basic safety inspections in her apartment he has to deal with 2 bedrooms worth of stuff at his house.
Good Luck
I have a hoarding parent and although there is nothing I can do to stop the behaviour, I have never thought of him as spending 'my' money. I am horrified at the mess my brother and I will have to clear up once he dies, It will cost the estate thousands to clear it all out.