Is there anything I can do as power of attorney? My 73 year old father who recently went into remission for lung cancer lives in Pennsylvania with my sister and her 2 children. I am the power of attorney for my father. I live in Florida. My sister lives at the house with her 2 children absolutely free!!! She says she is there to "take care" of my father. Though he rarely sees her, usually only when she needs something. She is either upstairs "sleeping" or taking his vehicle to where ever she ventures off too for hours at a time. He lives on a limited income and unfortunately has many bills that need paid due to my mother's generosity with same sister. I have been told by a sibling as well as a neighboring relative that my sister and her teenage daughter have been having 3-4 friends over the house. I noticed in the past month that his electric bill has increased and he's food purchases have increased. She does not have a job. She collects welfare. She purchases food for her and her children at times, but does not contribute to the household food. They have been eating the food my father purchases at a rapid rate. He doesn't catch them doing it because they will not make meals until he is sleeping. They live a very nocturnal life! She continually uses his vehicle without his knowledge most of the time and he is the one who purchases the gas most of the time. $170 just in the month of June. I talk to my dad all the time about telling her NO. He says he tries, but she will yell and throw a tantrum when she doesn't get her way. Her daughter will do the same. He ends up giving in because he feels hounded and he just wants her to leave him alone. This is not right! I feel horrible just sitting back and letting it happen. I feel like they are mentally and emotionally abusing him. Is there something I can do?
Mean you get in your car
And see with your eyes
What is truth, what is lies.
You stay for a week
You listen, not speak.
She may not be so lazy,
And he might be half crazy.
I definitely think it's time you went to visit, and establish some ground rules of exactly what he should be providing financially and some house rules, who and how many friends can come over, and at what time guests should leave by at night. Kitchen, food buying and cooking rules, meal times. It is his house, and he should set the rules! If she doesn't wish to abide by his house rules, then she and her kids should move, and then you should decide along with him, exactly what he wants to do, and where he might like to move to, arrange household help, and personal help, if he needs it. But be prepared to find that he is quite satisfied with the current arrangements, but with some slight changes to night time activity. He does need his sleep, and they need to be respectful of his home. I do see a mutual benifit of having her there, but not if she is truly ripping him off! You can speak with her without making it an attack, just have a conversation about what she thinks he needs, and impress upon her that she needs to be respectful of his desires! This can work, if she is honestly there to help him.
But as Pam says, the truth may look different up close. Your dad may need more care than he perceives.