LO passed little over 3 months ago. Now it seems our health and our house is a wreck. We need repairs on house we need to go to doctor. Very overwhelming. Hard to get a handle on all of it. Took care of LO over 4 years. Any advice? You can read our story
Your own life has been on hold for 4 years.
Don’t try a marathon to fix it all at once .
Some days will be better than others .
Give yourself grace and time . Shorter to do lists at first . It’s ok to not finish the list or ignore the list on a bad day .
Incorporate some non chores as well.
Read books for pleasure , revisit or try a new hobby. Reconnect with a friend. Go on a date with your spouse .
Go on a short vacation or a longer one whichever you prefer .
It’s not easy for some of us , but it will get better.
Do not try to do everything at once. Break every task into small pieces. You do not have the emotional reserves right now to co-ordinate complex chores.
For a while after a death it can be a major accomplishment to get up in the morning and put your shoes on.
Pick one thing, like seeing the doctor and work on that step-by-step.
Do you have specific doctor? That's #1.
#2 Make an appointment.
#3 Congratulate yourself for getting one thing done. Accomplishing even a small task is very rewarding and motivating.
Another day, pick one of your house chores. Does the kitchen need help? You could throw away spoiled food if there is any so you don't make yourself sick. That's enough for that day.
Do you need to wash some dishes? That would be enough for another day or task time.
Congratulate yourself for accomplishing any task, however small it might seem. One day after my husband's death my big success was to have transferred a large slotted spoon from an unused kitchen drawer to my every day kitchen drawer and now I use that spoon almost every day. It was the only thing I really accomplished that day but I remember being intensely proud of moving that spoon. That was 12 years ago and having moved that spoon still pleases me.
I am having a hard time understanding.
First of all condolences on your loss.
Could you tell us who died?
What issues are you facing after this death?
What other than house repair needs to be done?
Who is the executor of a will?
Are there assets to assign to a beneficiary?
I cannot imagine what issues you are dealing with.
Can you tell us a bit more?
I don't know if they want to tell us all of the issues that they are facing, but they did say that we could read their story, so it may be that the details on that are possibly to be found somewhere else on this site, like their profile page.
Hope that helps.
Break tasks down into smaller increments.