I cared lovingly for both my parents for many years with almost no involvement or even communication from my siblings. At times I was overcome with grief, needed emotional support, and no one seemed to even care. After my parents passed, however, my siblings took on new interest—- And I was sued by (estranged) heirs that my parents had excluded from their estate planning. Unfortunately, the state where my parents’ assets were located allowed these siblings to sue me both as executor and also in a personal capacity. This lawsuit, although in hindsight, ridiculous, have been very expensive and emotionally painful. I lost my best friends (my parents) and unfortunately have lost my love for most of my siblings since. (Mostly, One who isn’t suing has recently become greedily impatient). Where were they when Mom needed a hug, a visit or even a card? My case will win, but I am bereaved from losing the relatives that I thought I loved. How do I restore my faith in humanity?
Were your parents not transparent in their estate planning? It's usually advised if one sibling is doing the caregiving to pay them for this service, rather than letting it wait until probate. For just this reason.
As children, my brothers and I were told that my parents intended to spend all their money, that we should have no expectation of an inheritance. It was a powerful message.
A year into the care of my mom they called APS and reported me for financial exploitation. At that point I retained an attorney which led to a very expensive three years. Of course there was nothing even closely related to exploitation going on. And TS2 knew it as she was POA!
Now thinking of getting my attorney involved again, mom passed 1.5 years ago now there are issues related to the estate being managed by TS2.
Most of humanity is doing ok, it is twisted sibs, greedy ones at that, causing caregiver stress and expense.
Like Barb, we have already told our girls not to expect anything. What we have put away is for our care.
I love how children don't feel some obligation to a parent. But when they are gone, the hand is out there. Where's mine.