Mom's been in IL about 6 months and all has been calm. Mom asked BIL to help her out with moving and finances when she moved, though I have DPOA. (She lived with me about 2 years before the move.) Mom gave BIL access to her account online. I received her bank statement and noticed an online check made out to him for $200 last month, which is a lot when Mom is in a HUD housing unit at this IL place and only gets SS. Plus, BIL is supposed to be helping Mom with bills if she overspends.
When I asked him about the debit, he said it covered "seed money payback." I don't even know what that means. He says there won't be any more debits to him. But this makes me mad. He didn't run this by me and my brother first.
I did not want other family involved in Mom's finances to begin with. Since I am responsible for her finances based on the DPOA, I don't like this. Advice?
Look, just because your mom gave you POA, that doesn't mean that she can't transact business on her own -- which is what she did when she asked your BIL to help.
If you're concerned about the future, ask your mom to change her online password.
2) Take the time to read the entire POA document slowly and carefully. I'm not talking down to you, honest! It's taken me this entire calendar year to get acquainted with my resposibilities as POA, and to learn exactly what it spells out. So do it.
You need to get him off the bank account. Nothing against him: you are responsible for administering your mother's affairs, and that means you are required, as part of your responsibility, to do it yourself. Delegation just makes life complicated. If you can't explain this to your mother (not because you're bad at explaining, I mean, because she's bad at understanding) then it's time to enable your DPOA and get her off her bank accounts too.
Ahem. I have just seen your post above. What in heaven's name possessed you to agree to act as DPOA without first taking the trouble to understand what it meant? Never mind. We've all done something like it.
I suggest a circular letter to whom it may concern stating that all contributions to the Mother Benevolent Fund are most welcome. However, grateful acceptance of same does not imply permission to access confidential financial information by anyone not authorised to see it. I.e. anyone except you.
Tee hee hee. I cannot remember any occasion when I have been offended by NOT being asked for money..?! Well you'll want to put that faux pas right straight away!
$200 Is not worth the support you may lose for being accusatory.
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