I took my mom out of a nursing home and placed her with my brother. We all wanted it. The state showed up to check on my mother. Hes accusing me of calling. I did not call anyone. He says I lost phone rights with my mom because I wont admit to it . I cant see my mother or talk to her over something I didn't even do. How can I prove to him I didn't do it. All my calls are dead ends so far. If I could find the person that came out they can let him know I didn't do it. I really need help. Im missing precious moments with my mom. Someone please help me. This drama is not healthy for my mom. Shes at her happiest when she gets to see all her children. I know this is killing her just as it is me.
Your brother isn't only shooting the messenger, he's shooting an entirely innocent bystander whom he wrongly thinks sent the messenger. I agree with PS that he's entitled to privacy in his own home. I think it's a good idea to ask the state rep to confirm that you didn't call (although I'm not sure your brother would accept their assurance, or that they would be prepared to do that - you might run into confidentiality issues/obstructions there), it can't hurt to try. And absolutely you all do need to focus on your mother's welfare.
But I'm really troubled by what it says about your brother's character that he thinks it is reasonable to 'punish' you ("I've lost phone rights" - come again? You what?), and to punish you not only for having the temerity to check up on your mother but for failing to confess it to him, and, on top of that, punishing your mother as a consequence. Apart from being wrong, and who elected him Pope?, it freaks me out that he thinks this is ok. What else does he think is ok?
In your place I'd be having second thoughts about my mother's living there. See what you can do to persuade him of the sheer improbability of your having called APS on him; but also get some advice on your options.
They should be able to do this for you if they understand that as a result of their visit and monitoring, your brother misinterpreted has now restricted your contact.
I think there must be more to this for your brother to distrust you and believe you would do such a thing.
I hope above solves the problem for you. Continue to call APS or the state to confirm the notification has been done with brother.
I agree with getting a lawyer, but that's a long term solution. Do you use a cell phone or a home phone? If you use a cell, look at either your bill or your online account. Every single incoming and outgoing call is listed there. If you use a land line, call your provider and ask for a copy of your phone activity for the two months surrounding the month in which he is making the accusation, plus the month of the accusation (March April May for example.)
It is not up to your brother to revoke rights in any way. While it's his home, you have a right to reasonable access to your mother. It sound a little fishy to me, as though maybe your brother is hiding something.
Frankly this guy isn't mentally stable and probably your mother should not be in his care.
Good luck
If he is, it could be that actually everything is fine for your mother in terms of how well she is being looked after day to day and he just took umbrage at being checked up on. I know it doesn't solve the problem of why he's behaving like such a (expletive deleted), but I hope it's a consoling thought that he is almost certainly treating your mother well meanwhile. Best wishes for getting all of this sorted out. Keep going, chin up x
Frustrated3 brings up a very good point about it being their home and others can't just visit willy-nilly. Respect for everyone, not just your mother, is critical in order for this to work.
I agree with some of the comments above. It sounds like your brother is hiding something. Things are not right with this situation and it is very possible that your mother is being either/or physically abused in some way, financially abused and exploited. Many states have laws against financial abuse.