My MIL is 90 and has advancing Alzheimer’s. She has always been someone that lives by her calendar. Over the last couple of years, I have given her the next year calendar with all the important birthdays, etc. already written in it.
Just in the last month, she says she doesn’t understand her calendar. So I bought her the senior clock that shows the day of the week, morning or afternoon, and the date. I had worked with her to see the date on her calendar to the date on the clock.
Well, this past week that appears to be broken. I have already bought a new calendar for 2023. But, now I am thinking the calendar should just go away. That worries me as she does look at it to know when her caregiver is coming. But again she gets so confused that I end up telling her that day. Many times over what is going on for the day.
Have others taken the calendar away to ease the confusion?
Thanks. I so enjoy reading everyone’s post everyday. It helps keep my day going.
I had bought an Alzheimer's clock for my mother (along with a dry erase white board) to have in her Memory Care AL suite. The clock sat right in front of her recliner so she could easily see it and know what day it was, date, time and whether it was AM or PM. As time progressed, she forgot to look at the clock and if she did, the info staring back at her made no sense. Such is the nature of dementia and AD, unfortunately. It robs a person of all their reasoning and memory skills.
This website is a good thing, I agree with you. And I hope things work out with your MIL, too. Best of luck.
I think my MIL has hit a wall of some kind. SIL was saying that she'll go to pick her up for Drs appts and she won't have remembered about it, even with a reminder call from the Drs AND SIL.
A few years ago she fell asleep and slept from about 1 pm to 6 pm--woke up and thought it was the next day. But..no newspaper on the porch, Morning news is not on, it's getting dark outside--and none of those OBVIOUS things even touched anything in her brain that maybe she's just had a great nap. (Her excuse was that she is incapable of sleeping and that couldn't have happened.)
She actually called the newspaper and they brought her another copy of the days' paper. Even with THAT, she was convinced it was a new day.
She wasn't embarrassed by this, she was MAD. Like the entire world was playing a joke on her. This has happened a number of times since and she falls for it every time.
It's not funny, and upsetting as all get out for her.
DH and I had a discussion today--I said "I think your mom needs to get some in-home help, besides your poor sister who is taking 99% of the burden and it is really getting to her. Your sister looks like death on toast". MIL doesn't see it.
I stand on the outside, looking and I am heartbroken for SIL who just gives and does too much. Dh said he was going to plan to do more when he retires next month. I hope he is good to his word.
In truth, she needs to be in a facility, but that will NEVER happen. She falls a lot, so we know how that can play out. Nothing will happen until she is actually hurt enough to need a lot of care.
The brain regulates time in two key ways – the ability to tell the time and plan accordingly, and the innate body clock. When the brain is damaged by dementia, the person can lose the reasoning and analytic abilities needed to tell the time and plan their day. Their natural circadian rhythms can also be off kilter, so they don’t instinctively know when it’s night or day, or what season it is.
Issues with memory also play a large role in why people with dementia lose track of time. Because they can’t remember events as recent as a few minutes ago, they don’t have perspective of when other events happened, or will happen, in comparison. It’s like trying to find directions on a map when you don’t know where you are to begin with, but with time.
And if mom lives alone, perhaps it's time to be thinking about placing her in the appropriate facility where she won't have to worry about what day the caregiver is coming as they will be with her 24/7.
home health visits to doctor appointments. She liked knowing before hand.
She became obsessed with who was coming over, what time, what day and so on.
Even when I wrote it down for her and taped it to her vanity mirror or she had me write it down in her calendar (her Parkinson’s tremors prevented her from writing) she would still ask me about it over and over.
She wouldn’t remember asking about it previously but would say, “Honey, I forget things. You may have told me before but please tell me again when my next appointment is.”
If you think removing the calendar will help, then try removing it. She may still ask you about certain dates.
Best wishes to you and your mom.
We removed it, we would remind her when we would pick her up for doctors appointments, even call when we left our homes, we would get there and she would either be eating in the DR or not dressed.
Now we use the in-house doctor, we gave up. Her mind is gone.
If your MIL is living alone with no Caregiver, she needs one. Either that, or you need to place her. At this point she should not be left alone.
It will be change in personality. so it will be a clear sign to me that things have changed, if she stops reading it.
I have to still remind my mother of appointment dates and other important dates, I am her calendar for things like this. The page I rip off just has the date and the day of the week on it.
Keep posting we like hearing from you and your experiences.
Love & Peace.
If she has an appointment tell her when it is appropriate to tell her. For some people telling them in the morning of the appointment for others the day be fore is alright. If I had told my Husband he had a doctors appointment "tomorrow" that would have been meaningless. Telling him as I was helping him into his coat that he had a doctors appointment would have been plenty.
You know mom, you can gauge how she reacts.
One other point...if mom is living alone it might be time to rethink that and either move in with her, she move in with you (neither great options) or Memory Care.
Also, if you add your parent’s Alexa Show to your Alexa family account you can add:
Stickee reminders
Appointments
Calming Routines
Drink Water Routines
”I am coming over “ reminder
Doctor appt today reminder with date and time
Reminder to take medicines
Events
calming sleep music
Sleep stories to fall asleep to
A schedule for example: 9am take vitamins. 9:15am eat banana with cranberry juice and toast 10:15 am Stretch exercises in couch, 10:30 am Call daughter. 11:30-12:30 Meals on Wheels.
and so on.
Alexa is great for caretakers and family to protone a positive, organized, not visually busy set of clear orientating info and appointments. It also has a “Drop In” so you can see your loved one to check on them. You can also add new photos.
You can do all these reminders, schedules, photos, events, relaxation and breathing exercise events, medicine reminders and more from your smart phone and /or computer in an Alexa app or Alexa account online for FREE after you buy the Alexa Shoe or Alexa 15.
You do NOT need to be present to change reminders, music, updates, schedule and photos after your first set up at elderly person’s home.
best part is there is NO subscribtion fee and it’s relative inexpensive to buy. They are currently on sale for maybe $65-80.
Also, we made a list for our mother to interact and make Alexa her friend. It’s a list of things my Mother can ask Alexa that are if interest you my Mum.
For example, Alexa what is the weather in Glasgow, Scotland (since my Mother was born and raised there). What is the joke of the day? When was my last doctors appointment? When is my next doctor’s appointment. It’s a life saver for caretakers having to enable in long winded, redundant discussions of dates and schedules. It’s a friend for the elderly person who likes to asked lots of questions.
Only thing is, it must stay plugged in. My mum unplugged things to save electricity. They always outsmart or foil us in ways we never imagined don’t they. Yet, I tell her electricity is free for her age and she leaves it plugged in, enjoying her Alexa Show. When I call she is happy and remarks in seeing the beautiful family photos or photos of herself as a child. It lifts her spirits.
NO. I am not invested in nor work for Amazon nor Alexa. I just try to find work arounds as the only caregiver, to help make things easier for myself and yet fun and efficient for Mum.
Amazon Alexa Show which is under $100 and 15 which is more expensive, will make things easier for couple years depending on stage of Dimentia.
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