I have a friend that her son has power of attorney she has ended up in the hospital she is an older lady but she does have a 12-year-old Yorky dog that has been her constant companion for years I have just discovered he is trying to re-home the dog without the mother’s permission. He has never cared for the dog, he doesn’t like the dog and I’m sure he sees it as a perfect opportunity to get rid of the dog. I need to know if he is able to do this without the mother’s permission or does having power of attorney give him the right to do this?
My mother-in-law had a dog and became unable to properly take care of it even before she needed nursing home care.
Fortunately, she had a close local friend who could take the dog into his home and care for it, and MIL was able to visit with the dog going forward.
It was truly the best outcome possible for the scenario. Everyone was happy and got the care they needed. If not for the friend stepping up, her dog would have had to be rehomed somewhere else for its own safety.
If you are concerned, talk to the son in a civil manner as a friend. It is an extremely difficult time, and perhaps you could truly help your friend by supporting her son. Taking the dog for a while as others suggest would not hurt.
It is easy to think the worst of caregivers. If the son was doing this for the wrong reasons he would have taken the dog to a pound or shelter instead of going through the pain of finding her a new home.
When I was in a caregiver/POA situation I had no shortage of finger pointing outsiders who did not like some of my difficult decisions. Decisions that were painful to me as well as my mom. That only added to the stress and helped no one. I fortunately had one of my mother's friends who really understood and helped me through some very hard parts. If you really want to help, be helpful.
sometimes pets are better companions then humans. That is insensitive of him if it’s for selfish reasons.But there could also be other circumstances unknown to outsiders.
That being said, whether the son is legally within his rights to deal with the dog is a small matter as it is unlikely that his mother--or anyone else--will bring the matter to court. The real question is whether it is essential to the well-being of your friend to have her companion there to welcome her home and whether she will be able to care for the dog. There is also a consideration about whether she will be coming home. It is quite possible that the son knows more about her situation than you do. Ask questions, politely, focus on your concerns for your friend's well-being and on your willingness to help in any way.
It is a mistake to immediately question the motives of a younger caretaker. Most of the time the children of an aging parent mean well and try very hard to do what is best for their parent. You need to be straight-forward and completely honest both with him and with his mother. There may be some difficult choices to make and it will not help if there are not clear communications and understandings.
When my husband's mother was in her last illness we spent some time at her residence cleaning and sorting things. Many of her neighbors came to us and revealed that they were very concerned about her and that they thought she should have been placed in residential care years earlier. These were the same neighbors who had, for years, been assuring his mother that they would help her in any way and that they were glad to help out. During those years, when we would try to talk to her about assisted living or other care options she would absolutely refuse, citing the helpfulness of the neighbors and their assurances that they loved helping her out. If they had been more honest with her and with us about what they were really willing to do and had been more honest about her capabilities she may have been willing to make changes that would have made her last years more pleasant for all of us.
The best way you can help your friend is to work with her chosen POA, not question his motives without understanding what is behind his actions. For all you know, there may even be written instructions for him to re-home the dog if there is doubt that she can take care of it.
visited more often and witnessed the meanness in various ways. I took her dog
"for grooming" and next day told her he had died. We both cried for different reasons. I found a local family who had lost their dog to a Coyote incident. They
came with their 4 children, grammar school-HS, and it was love @ first sight.
"Gizmo" never event looked back as he hopped into their car. It was a win-win
and my sister forgot about him. Dementia is as sad as losing a pet.
My relative had dementia and was in MC. She was allowed to have her poodle there. She was a bit rough with him in the afternoons when she and ALL the residents would begin to sundown.
She would forget to take him outside. He was a good little guy who was housebroken, but good Lord, even the best dog can only hold it for so many HOURS. He made several messes because she could not remember to take him outside. I visited one afternoon and he was giving me all kinds of signals to take him outside and she would not let me! She had him on a leash and kept yelling at me and yanking him back when I'd try to take him. Somehow I managed to distract her and get him outside.
One patient at MC tried to take him from her and they got into a tussle over the dog. The patient pushed down my aunt. That sweet dog was directly and indirectly the reason for several of her falls which ended up landing her in the NH.
My aunt is now deceased and her poodle lives a life of leisure with one of my cousins.
If the Mom is returning from the Hospital, he should find someone to take care of the dog til then. To give away his Mom's pet dog is a sure way to cause her depression and a not care to live attitude. Shame on him. You as a friend could offer to pet sit while she's in the hospital.
pets are family. You wouldn’t get rid of the husband because you didn’t like him and he was a pain in the keister now would you.
A POA has the trust attorney available and if this is just a drawn up
WILL there should still be an attorney to ask questions. If not get one . Because if she’s doing things like getting rid of the beneficiaries family pet I’m sure she’s going to do other things she thinks she or he has the authority to do, Without consulting anyone like an attorney or co trustee. POA’s can end up in Jail or prison if they aren’t doing right to the Trust or WILL. Be mindful to the person that appointed you, Because you can be taken off as POA and charged by a court of law if you don’t look out for the best interest of the person you are now managing. Just because they are incapacitated now doesn’t mean that they can’t get better or. If not alls it takes is the majority of the trustees to write a letter and the POA clan be held accountable! Good luck Poor puppy . He or she probably adores his mommy. Mean POA
As to the situation, there really is too much that we don't know. Is she competent? Has she been caring for the dog properly or is the house a mess because she can't? Will she be able to return home safely and care for the dog?
If I were the concerned party, for both the dog and the friend, I would offer to take the dog in, at least temporarily and then proceed carefully after the hospital stay.
The son needs to think of Mom's feelings and not take advantage of his power. What else is he doing with mom's possessions without her permission??
I know that what he did might sound cruel but it is probably best for the animal. I sent all of the Cats to the Humane Society and my mother is fine. She is now in a assisted living and I had to tear up the carpeting in a two-level home because it was destroyed. I got her a fake cat that looks real and she loves it.
How long is your friend likely to remain in the hospital? There are boarding kennels where the dog could stay, or perhaps your friend knows a fellow Yorkie enthusiast who could help?
Speak to the son and ask him directly how he plans to have the dog looked after TEMPORARILY!!!
How did it come to light that he's been trying to get rid of it, though?
He can't be blamed for not liking dogs but obviously he needs to think again. What has he told your friend about it?
I love the idea of your offering to take the dog in, if you possibly can. Yorkies are poppets, and this one must be very worried about what's happening, poor little thing.
She can change her POA. I would if my child did that to me. I would view it as a sign of things to come BUT, as has been mentioned there are many considerations beyond his right to do this. The dog could be kenneled until she is able to care for it or long term decisions could be made.
If his POA is based on her being incompetent, its not in effect until she is. There is an immediate POA, but even then neither cover giving her dog away because he doesn't like it. Are u sure she is coming home? Maybe she is being placed in an AL or LTC. Some ALs do except small pets, but you have to be able to care for it. LTC/NHs don't allow them.
Can you take her dog until she gets home?