My Dad has dementia, depression, continuing weight loss, and macular degeneration. Although living in an assisted living wing of wonderful retirement community he shows NO interest in participating in activities, improving himself through physical therapy, or even going to mealsunless strongly encouraged. He stays often in bed until noon. Antidepressant had adverse side-effect. Lived large in younger years building and flying airplanes, traveling, etc. Now is not driving, or expressing interest in anything. Help! I'm sad, depressed, and feeling helpless about helping him feel better about life.
What you can still do for your father is keep turning up, and keep talking to him as you naturally would. You might not get much response, there might be a lot less evident interest and enthusiasm than would have been the case before, but what I'm seeing with my mother is that although you can't tell from her tone or her expression she is genuinely pleased to hear from or hear news about her family. Don't let him cut himself off from the people he cares about, that's all.
i can imagine the capt in his bunker with a steel door and an tiny slit they can pass the paper through but strong enough to keep out the most persistant social worker. He'd probably have a booby trap bucket filled with some unmentionable noxious substance riged so when they got too annoying he'd pull a string and laugh himself till he you know what himself. No way he's going to end up in aunt edna's prison. Love your elders keep them safe but do unto others as you would have them do to you.
The other day I was missing my grandmother but then realized that if she hadn't passed away at 92, she would be 102 this year and would have lost her at some point between 92 and 102 anyway so is the loss any harder back then as it would have been later?
We all pass on. Sometimes its heart breaking to read about all the herculean things people are doing to keep their LOs alive when deep down we all know we have an expiration date. I have a relative that just passed away yesterday from stage 4 cancer. He was in the hospital the past 2 weeks and his adult children were doing all they could to keep him alive until finally the hospital said its time for hospice. He was in hospice for less than a week before he passed away. What happened these past 3 weeks? Yes, he was alive for 3 more weeks but what was the quality of his life? What was gained and for who?
These are rhetorical questions. I'm hoping to maybe inspire some to reflect about all the things they are doing for "one more day." Best of luck to you.
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