My BIL passed away on Friday 9/11 ‘yeah, bad day all around’. He lived in a nursing home up in DE, we live in Florida. Today we ( MIL ( w/dementia), BIL (mentally retarded), hubby ( bad back) & myself) are preparing for the 1200 mile car ride, what fun!! Last minute flight would’ve cost us $2k+ One way!! and MIL refuses to fly. I did not want to take a chance of putting out that money and having her have a meltdown at the Airport. In the past 24 hours we have explain to her many, many times, that Johnny had died. Backstory: Johnny at 17 years of age was in a car accident on Christmas Day 1985. He has been in a nursing home for literally 34 years. It truly is a blessing that he has passed. Sally keeps thanking that Johnny died in the car accident. Or she completely forgets Johnny all together. I am leaving in about one hour to start this 20 hour trip, any suggestions to keep me from killing everybody in the car with me I kid, of course. But the quote “and that’s why I killed them Your Honor”, Will not hold up in court. Gotta laughter, right? Cause you cannot scream into a pillow while driving.
Arrange a funeral...that almost no one can attend?
Why not skip the trip, arrange for a funeral home to cremate him and send the ashes to you. You can then have a celebration of his life.
There is no need to bring MIL with you and your husband with a bad back does not "need" to make the trip if it will cause him pain, discomfort and aggravation. You can easily take care of things for them
I honestly appreciate everybody’s input letting me know that there is an easier way to do this, but as I’ve stated before, I am actually looking forward to going up north and seeing my family. I just have to get through the next 20 hours. Ativan anyone?
Have poor Johnny cremated and hold a Zoom service if there are others who need to attend a memorial.
And what grandma said.
All things considered-including COVID-19- you gotta pass on this one.
And then PLAN a trip to see your sons.
All of that said, my own perspective is not yours, or you wouldn't be doing this, and you ARE doing this. As you describe it, and as I imagine the trip, I kind of hope you will blog the whole thing to us here.
You seem very level headed about it all. If anyone can have this together--or better yet know that it cannot and will not BE together--you do. I wish you the best of luck and hope you will update us.
Perhaps you should take up writing. Take a journal with you, OK?
Thanks for your kind thoughts. I’ll do my best to update the journey