I am the sole caregiver for my grandparents who are in their mid 80s. Without going into details about how I know my grandparents are very sexually active. However at my grannys last doctors appointment she was told by the doctor that she is not healthy enough to have sex...she has numerous health problems and we can see that it is taking a toll on her. Sex is all they have left to do...its the one thing they can still give eachother so the emotional damage of not having sex would be great...but its killing her. Sometimes I think its just the wifely due and my papa being from the 30s demands it but then sometimes I think she is willing and if she is there is nothing I can do. Right?
If not healthy enough for sex, then she may have a heart attack or a stroke? This is their choice, doctors have told them. It is not up to you to make sure they follow doctor's orders on this. Leave it alone.
I feel this is close to the subject of allowing elders in nursing homes to have sexual encounters. people turn a blind eye these day to what teenagers are up to but if the 80 year old grandfather is caught holding hands with a widowed 85 yeqr old all h*ll breaks loose and one of the families moves their loved one to save them from this situation. Not your question I know but one of my passions about the happiness of the elderly.
Short answer "Do nothing"
My elderly Dad grumbles about his ED problem [something a daughter doesn't really want to hear]... then I look over at my Mom who is painfully frail and wonder if Dad has talked to my Mom about this. Even if he didn't have his medical problem, could Mom even participate? They both still hold hands with each other while sitting on the couch :)
Did the doctor mean "while you have a UTI" or "forever"?
Do you have any evidence of coercion?
The couple has been advised. I suggest you all sit down and have a good laugh at "Grumpy Old Men."
It might seem strange to you what they are doing, and even dangerous to gma, but I have to agree with others that I don't see the need for meddling in this area. It is their lives, their choices, their way of connecting and comfort perhaps? I read your words, you don't see it this way. I don't think that you should interfere here. Good luck!
If both are mentally sound, then I guess you really can't intervene.
It makes endorphins....if that's a silver lining.
From what you've written here, now that my reading comprehension has returned slightly, seems like you're doing a really job with them given the circumstances. :-)