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I could not find this particular detail on Bathroom usage on LARA. It just states there needs to be at least 1 Bathroom per 6 occupants.My Mom's bathroom is actually IN her bedroom. You have to walk about 5 to 6 feet into her bedroom. My Mom shares her bedroom with a roommate. The roommate can use the bathroom , but my Mom has developed OCD behaviors around having a clean bathroom. She does not like how the staff cleans the bathroom, will clean it herself after a BM, and after her roommate has a BM, and resents having to do itUgh! DEMENTIA

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It might be worth looking at the layout of the place, to see if M could swap rooms for somewhere less prone to be treated as ‘public’. M's OCD makes it particularly difficult for her, might be less of a problem for another occupant.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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What type of home is this, a ranch/single story, colonial, etc)?

There is probably one bathroom set aside for the staff only, with the residents using whatever bathrooms are left.
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Reply to cover9339
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I'd love to find a way to not worry about this...but the emotional stress around it caused my Mom to have immediately after the confrontation with the house staff that made her cry...a heart attack. It ended up being broken heart syndrome.
My Mom does not like...and validly wants space from these 2 ladies that wander. I know it's normal for them to wander, but my Mom has lost her ability to reason a bit and does not know. My Mom goes into her room for space. The aide told me she will look at her " mad" when she comes in her room. A nurse expert I spoke to confirmed what I felt was a big part of it. This is my Mom's space, and no one os honoring it.
The nurse expert said..and I agree...the staff should be knocking on her door before entry...or on her door jam if the door is open. We did just put her on zoloft last week. I took her to the ER that same day...several hours after the incident. The house mother shot me a text saying she had to be firm with my Mom about allowing other people to use her bathroom when there is an emergency, and no other bathroom I available. I'm not quite sure that all the bathrooms were full...but I want to believe the aide. The aide told my Mom.." We are all family here..." which the nurse expert said ..." no that's not true, not right, and her boundaries are being violated somewhat. It's clear they are unaware they should be knocking on her door, but the bathroom issue is grey area " like someone mentioned.
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Reply to Klh39v
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Yes my Mom shares a bedroom/bathroom with her roommate. Another resident wanted...well the aide wanted another resident to use my Mom's bathroom..and not take her to the other side of the house where her bathroom is.
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lealonnie1 Aug 12, 2024
Well that's a different story OP! The aide is acting like your mom's bathroom is a public restroom which it is NOT. Speak with whoever runs the home to say it bothers mom to have others using her bathroom, and the aides should stop using it as a public toilet please.
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Unless there are locks on every residents door, wandering WILL happen, whether it's "allowed" or not, since dementia is at play in this home. Goes with the territory, as does OCD. Speak to moms doctor about meds to address that OCD and calm it down a bit.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Mom should be able to go to the other resident's rooms to use the bathroom if she wants, (that would cut down on cleaning). Turnabout is fair play.
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Reply to cover9339
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Not really a good answer here. To allow some freedom does mean allowing some wandering. I don't really know how the combo of OCD around a bathroom and being in a MC facility could ever have a good fix.

I would discuss this with the admins at the facility. A Forum of strangers is unlikely to have a fix around this. I sure do wish you the best in finding an answer. Bet that's one CLEAN bathroom, though. Truth is that we never quite get over our toilet training.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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cover9339 Aug 12, 2024
Maybe, if the home is not more then 1 floor. (wouldn't want an elder to fall down steps) The issue could also be privacy. Mom and/or her roommate are sleeping, is it right for someone to come in and disturb their sleep to use their bathroom?
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Do the other rooms have there own bathrooms? If so, then no one but Mom and her roommate should be using it. I would ask the person in charge why are other residents using Moms bathroom. Tell them she feels she needs to clean the bathroom everytime someone uses it. Maybe Mom needs something for anxiety.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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cover9339 Aug 12, 2024
There's a good chance they don't. Many of these homes can (and probably do) have only 1-3 bathrooms to be shared by several residents.
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When peoples brains are broken with dementia it is not unusual that they wander into other peoples rooms for various reasons, so it shouldn't surprise you that someone is coming in to use the bathroom as when you have to pee you have to pee.
I mean at least they are using the bathroom and not peeing on your moms floor or bed, as that would be much worse, and sadly I've heard tales of such things happening.
As with anything in life, we have to choose our battles wisely and I'm not sure this battle is worth fighting.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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My dad's board and care home had shared bathrooms, which wasn't convenient for the rooms that had the bath. I think it is pretty common, however, if mom is paying extra for a semi private bathroom then that is a different story. That would make it hers and the roommates rented space to share as they choose.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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cover9339 Aug 12, 2024
Interesting, you would think the bathrooms would be separate from the rooms.
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Of course the roommate can use that bathroom as it sounds like it’s hers too. Are you saying that other residents are entering their bedroom to use the bathroom? My guess would be that this is a gray area in legal terms.
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Reply to MidwestOT
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cover9339 Aug 12, 2024
I think that is what the OP is saying. It appears anyone (and everyone) can go into mom's room to go to the bathroom if they so choose.
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