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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Hi dorisjc, if the elderly person does not have a valid drivers license the next time they pull out of the driveway have a policeman waiting for them. If this person is a danger with the car it is imperative that , for their safety and those sharing the road with them, the car be taken away. I know it is hard. And sad. I take it talking to the careegivee has not helped. You could talk with you local police, I guess.
Good luck. This is a hard stage for the elderly. Hugs for all involved.
I'd inform her that should she try to drive again, the authorities will identify her as "unsafe" and will pull her over and take her vehicle, and that she is not thinking of others, but only of herself.
Call your local police chief, explain the situation and they will keep an eye out for her. They will help, they don't want to see her hurt herself or anyone else.
You are not giving us very much information regarding the health condition of the elderly person. But, they have to sleep. Get the keys then or as it was suggested before, call a policeman to your home, explain the situation, and they can give said elderly person a quick road test, get MVD records, etc. and if it is determined the elderly person cannot drive, let the policeman(woman) be the bad guy, not you. Driving is so important for independence, that's why it means so much. Good luck!
I went through this last summer with my 93 yr old dad. If he still has a valid drivers license, research the DMV website for your state, to locate procedures/form for reporting an elderly (impaired, unsafe) driver. I am in Texas, and it required a letter from Dad's doctor, in addition to a signed statement by me, describing the reasons the person should not drive. Once they had this info, they sent him a letter in which he had to report to the local DMV for eye, written, and behind the wheel tests. The whole process took about 6 weeks, even with me expediting all steps immediately. But it was worth it, as the DMV is the bad guy, along with the dr, and you can remain anonymous (unless dad contests, and it goes to court). Hopefully, you will not have to go this far, but good luck.
I agree with the post about notifying the state DMV. I did that with my dad when reasoning had failed (he was spotted several times falling asleep behind the wheel) and told him that unless he gave me the keys I would have no choice but to report him. He is cognitively intact, just stubborn and frustrated about aging, but he finally gave in. He was angry with me for a few months and brought it up every time we talked, but eventually seemed to let it go. I knew it was the right thing to do even if he wouldn't have spoken to me again. Now a few years later he says he is glad he doesn't have to worry about driving anymore!!
Could you take the keyring when she is asleep and put different keys on it? I assume there is always a caregiver there and she won't have to get in the house by herself. Whatever keys are on there replace the car keys with ones that will fool the person by looking similar but that won't start the car or cause any problems. That way she will always have her keyring but won't be able to hurt herself.
Legally, doctors are mandated to report drivers if they have anything wrong. Contact your DMV & find out how to submit the form (or letter) needed. My Mom's was suspended after her diagnosis, and I was very vocal about it to her doctors (and in front of her). She could have taken a special written and driving exam, but she finally accepted it. You need to be aggressive about this matter. My biggest fear was that Mom would crash her car, and kill herself and/or some poor kid riding their bike.
During the last 2 years of Dad's life, he had become fragile and forgetful (effects of chemotherapy and dementia). Thankfully, he rarely drove because I had sold my parents home in FL and moved them out of state, to a condo near me. As Legal Caregiver and POA for both my elderly parents, I drove them to all ther MD appointments (there were many). One afternoon, Dad insisted on driving to a fast food place (only 3 blocks away). We pleaded with him to stay and let me go instead. Dad refused. He was gone for several long hours, during which a thunderstorm made driving dangerous and visibility poor. We had already notified the police to be on the lookout. Dad was clearly lost, but by some miracle, he found his way back to his new home in an unfamiliar city. It was a tearful "reunion" when Dad finally walked through their door. I never let that happen again. I told Dad that I needed to borrow his vehicle for awhile. Dad gave me his keys, I drove it to our house and parked it there for a few months. Thankfully, he never asked about it.
Can you try the same lovingly sneaky trick with your mother? It worked for us. Good luck Doris and big hugs from one who's been there too.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck. This is a hard stage for the elderly. Hugs for all involved.
If he still has a valid drivers license, research the DMV website for your state, to locate procedures/form for reporting an elderly (impaired, unsafe) driver.
I am in Texas, and it required a letter from Dad's doctor, in addition to a signed statement by me, describing the reasons the person should not drive. Once they had this info, they sent him a letter in which he had to report to the local DMV for eye, written, and behind the wheel tests. The whole process took about 6 weeks, even with me expediting all steps immediately. But it was worth it, as the DMV is the bad guy, along with the dr, and you can remain anonymous (unless dad contests, and it goes to court).
Hopefully, you will not have to go this far, but good luck.
Can you try the same lovingly sneaky trick with your mother? It worked for us.
Good luck Doris and big hugs from one who's been there too.