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what is the amount that an elderly grandmother can write to her grandchildren a year without IRS getting involved?

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While you are worried about the IRS also be concerned about gifts in case there needs to be application for Medicaid.
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You can gift $15,000 per person per year. If there are two of you (grandmother and grandfather), each of you can gift $15,000 per person, per year.
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Agreed.

If she has lots of money and will never need Medicaid, the IRS requires no paperwork for gift withing the annual limit, which went up to $16,000 this year. Note that she can give away up to $12.06 million without owing gift tax for 2022 if she files a gift tax return.

But, yeah, since you are posting on this web site, you probably should be more concerned about Medicaid, which will likely require five years of records to confirm that no large gifts have been made.

So, unless she has more than $500,000 to pay for five years of long term care (most likely not including the home), keep the checks within reason and/or past practice. $100 or $200 for birthday and Christmas.

As always, if you want tax or legal advice you can rely on, consult an appropriate professional.
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Onhold, in another posting, you had mentioned that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia. Should she even be writing checks? The Power of Attorney should be taking care of her finances.
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