After a 24 year relationship, 14 spent living together, my partner wants to move across PA to be closer to her grandchildren in NJ. After ten years in Butler I have done many things in the community, finally have a sense of roots that I don't want to give up and start over in an unknown location at age 72. No discussion is possible even though she is willing enough for me go with her. I can't survive alone with my little dog. Is there legal advice available on my rights to property, support, whatever?
I am not a lawyer, you need to seek out legal assistance in this matter.
As to the financial aspect, more info is needed. Were you both working, combining salaries, splitting costs 50/50, saving, etc.? Do you have individual or joint investments?
If you're thinking of palimony support, you'll have to address all the expenditures, ratio of contribution, etc. I don't even know if those kinds of suits are still considered legally. But I do recall that a primary issue is whether one partner sacrificed or compromised a career in order to help the othe partner. Lots to think about.
I actually think if you're that attached to and comfortable with her, it might be better to go with her. You'll then have access to a more extended family and won't be alone and apparently struggling financially as you would be if you remained where you are.
I am a bit uncomfortable though with the approach of thinking what recourse you might have as an apparent first approach, especially as to support, unless you gave up a lucrative career to support her and/or provide for her, such as paying for a college education.
If you can't make it economically without your partner, you should move with her and see how it shakes out. After 24 years, a move (without actually MOVING and trying it out) hardly seems to be an appropriate reason to "divorce".
If you asked me what I thought your odds were of having your relationship recognized as a common law marriage, this non-attorney would say slim to none.
I know I need a lawyer but what kind and I have no resources anyway. We did move here in 2004 (with 3 days to spare) so the common-law is up in the air.
After all I have done here, helped, gotten to know people...and her career has crumbled which is why she wants to run away...I think of being forced to move as having my light turned off. I suppose I will go with her as most of you suggest, but it will end any emotions, any respect--is that a way to live out my remaining life?
After all of this whining I think I need counseling? And a winning lottery ticket.
Therefore, if it were me, I would disregard that possibility and figure out what I was going to do ON MY OWN.
Don't forget 72 is still very young..... my parents were just a couple years younger when they packed up and moved to their current location, they are now in their 90's.
I know moving isn't all that easy... look at each move as a new adventure. You can also put roots in your new town, too.
Why would you be homeless? Don't you have social security, savings, pension from working? If you prefer not to move, look to see if your area has a senior housing apartment where your rent would be income based. Usually such apartments will take small pets.
I'm still confused what you seek and hope to gain by involving legal counsel though. Perhaps I'm missing something here.
As to the social aspect, I'm wondering if there are any support groups for bi-polar folks in your area. You may find that you bond more with them than with your partner. I would raise that issue with whatever doctor scripts for your bi-polar meds. Ask him/her about any other community support for folks with similar diagnoses.
I'm also confused - in your initial post you stated she wants to move closer to NJ to be with family; in your second post you stated she "wants to run away" because her career has crumbled. Could you clarify?
If you feel obligated to go but anticipate that it will cause hard feelings, then don't go. At 72 you should be getting SS and Medicare, so that should help with the financial situation. It seems you might also be eligible for Medicaid since you stated you have no money.
And actually, many people would prefer the companionship of a dog to a human being!
But please do check out support groups; they may offer more social support than your partner ever did. And I do think you're right, facetious though your statement was. Counseling might help to sort out the conflicts, emotions and apparent resentment you feel for her leaving you, including whether that's creating abandonment issues.
I hope you can find some balance and peace in the situation and move forward with your own goals.
Who knows what I will do--inertia do!
You might want to examine the nature of this relationship and why you want to hurt her yet be with her. Something's amiss here.
If she senses you want to hurt her through asset contention, perhaps that's the real reason why she's moving.
Time for some introspection and re-evaluation.
Good bye.