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She suffers from depression, congestive heart failure and diabetes. She fell a number of times in the past, the last time resulting in a 2 months long stay at the hospital. My dad died 8 years ago and she retired from work due to health reasons about 3 years ago - her health deteriorated drastically afterwards. I tried talking to her, I tried leaving her to her own devices, I tried being angry, I tried everything I could think of. If she's happy not leaving her room ever again, I'm fine with that, but I would like her to be able to walk if she needs to. I worry that one day she will sit or lie down in her bed and she won't be able to get back up. Her legs "leak" and I think it has to do with her lack of movement, but nothing I say or do help.

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Has your Mom been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer's? My Mom was severely depressed after my father divorced her. The only way we could get Mom to leave the house was to encourage her to "take care of her garden". Mom loved her garden and rose bushes. Once we got her outside of the house, she started enjoying the birds and squirrels who visited her daily. We bought her a humming bird feeder and she looked forward every day to see if any humming birds were feeding outside her porch. It was a very difficult process and very frustrating and Mom is now in an Alzheimer's facility, as she became too hostile for us to care for her. Maybe there is something on the outside of your Mom's room she use to enjoy. TV or cooking or even cleaning. We took small steps to get Mom to associate with life outside her home. It was heart breaking and I wish you the best for your Mom and your family.
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Wow! You are in a tough situation. I am guessing if she has not left her room much over the past year she also has not been to her doctor...other than the hospital stay? I wish I had the answer for you. Do you have support from other family or friends that might try to help encourage her to go out places with them? I will say prays for you and your mom!
Wishing you strength, courage and happiness,
Deanna
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I am so sorry to hear of your predicament and I can feel the frustration in your voice. My Mom lives independently but goes through those phases. She won't leave her apt unless she has a doctor's appt.
One thing you can look into is visiting doctors programs...they are getting more common. Mom has one doc that visits her home and, of course, there are visiting nurses. It is imperative that your Mom keep moving. I told my Mom that if she did not exercise, her muscles will atrophy and she will end up being bed ridden. That seemed to make sense to her and now she looks forward to exercising - but she still does not like leaving her home.
Can you have physical therapists visit? I even think more social contact with anyone may help. I know that she is depressed, but until you find something that motivates her, I fear for the worse.
good luck...tell us if any of these things work for you.
Lilli
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How old is she? Get an in-house doctor to come over and make a house call. When and where does she go potty? Is she fed in bed or in a chair? Does she wash in the bathroom or in the bed? These are important questions. Most important of all is a medical assesment.
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Id like to address your comment about your moms legs leaking. My father had congestive heart failure and due to his heart unable to pump the fluid it built up in his legs. He had to go to the hospital often to have the fluid removed with diuretics. Is she taking a water pill? Also CHF causes exteme fatique and shortness of breath so doing anything is very difficult. He wore a hose type stocking to compress the fluid on his legs.
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She may need to see a psychaitrist, she may be depressed and they have meds for that.
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The situation needs immediate care. Try calling her physician who ever she used to see and describe what has happened, she made need to go to hospital, or at least have some one come and check to be sure she is not in danger. If she has begun to suffer from agoraphobia, it will take slow and gentle encouragement to get her back out in the would. Starting with the front room even, then the yard, nothing dramatic. I was agoraphobic for almost a decade. It can be overcome, but slowly.

Others are right, get as much support as you can, anyone she trusts, or medical personnel who can come to the house and be of assistance.
I hope you are able to resolve this safely.
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