My mother lived at home with part-time care by an unlicensed caregiver until a month ago. The woman seems sweet and well meaning, but her life is a mess, and she shared all her problems with my mother. Mother started giving her small money gifts and loans about three months ago---not much, maybe a total of $500 all told. When Mother went into assisted living last month, we gave her caregiver generous severance and a plan to work off the loans by weekly visits to my mother in the ALF and to Mother's house to water the plants. She did none of that until last week, when she took took my Mother on some errands. And Mother gave her another $100 "because she needs money so badly." We all live far away. What should we do? Mother isn't incompetent---she's pretty sharp in most ways---but she's unwise about money and a pushover for a sob story.
Just please be careful how generous your mom is. If she's competent she can spend her money and you have no legal say. BUT if she spends it all and YOU have to pick up the tab for her care, I'd make sure you have control now or the future will be a nightmare!!!!
When I lived out of state I couldn't stop it. When I moved here, I stopped it fast.The former helper still owes my mother money. Boldly enough, she still calls her occasionally to see if she has any work for her. I don't tell her to get lost just in case we do need her one day. She is not a bad person, just doesn't grasp that her money problems are not her clients' responsibility.
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