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Hello everyone


We are meeting the social worker for my mom, she has been ther for 1 week due to covid. she is getting better little by little BUT we want to know what we have as options if she is not well to go home yet. THey stated it would be 20 days for her Anyone have any suggestions on other options we really do not want to put her in a nursing home! what other suggestions is there???? THANK YOU

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In your profile you state your mother is low-income with few assets. You also state you do not want to put her in a nursing home. And then you write this is another post:

"I am the youngest so i took care of her more my brother and sister did not see or hear all the negative comments complaints everyday BUT what i did was baby her i let her do whatever and say whatever she wants and let her get away with it. NOW where she is in the rehab she is even worse she complains and complains everythime we call or we go visit she says people there are horrible place stinks she isnt eating they did not give her medication to her then when we ask the nurses its all opposite whatever you say to her"

So...are you prepared to place her in a NH if she qualifies/can qualify for Medicaid? Unless you live in a state where Medicaid pays for Assisted Living, I don't see any other outcome. What ADLs (Activities of Daily Living) can your mother do? How much assistance does she need?

You shouldn't pay for anything out of your own pocket. What does your mother think is going to happen to her after rehab is completed?

Do you have POA? HCPOA?

I'm betting she is expecting that YOU will be her caregiver. if this is not in your plans, I hope you stand strong.

And remember, if the social worker says your mother going home with you handling the caregiving will only be temporary and that she will help you find resources, do NOT believe it. Once she leaves, she becomes YOUR responsibility, and there will be no further help.
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Is your mom's immobility new? She can't walk? Will she be able to walk with the rehab or is that not even a goal?

I think taking care of an immobile 85 year old at home would be nearly impossible. I would suggest NOT trying it.

I can understand not wanting to put her in a nursing home. But this may realistically be your best bet. It sounds like her needs are too large for assisted living and it won't be paid for by Medicare, etc. anyways.

I'm assuming she can not take care of herself and lives alone so let the rehab people know that. Her caregiver needs to say that they can no longer take care of her. That sending her home would be an unsafe discharge.

Good luck.
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The Social Workers/Discharge planners in rehab can help guide you; keep in CLOSE touch with them to keep touch with her improvement. One of two things will happen. She will improve continuously buying herself more time OR she will be unable to participate and will be considered to have reached the highest level she can. In the case of the latter assessment she will be either returned home or she will require permanent, semi-permanent placement in a facility as medicare will stop covering at that point. Sometimes, if you are a concerned family staying in good touch and interested in her returning home and being able to do that you can "buy more time" or they will "buy you more time" almost with "made up stuff" telling medicare they need more time "because..........". In my brother's case the time was bought (another week) with the "excuse" of wound care needed. They can fudge things. Stay concerned, stay in touch, stay cooperative and let them know your family wants her HOME and it is crucial to you to get her to the state she can return home.
And by the by, that is VERY important to convey to your MOM as well. That without her working hard and trying hard she will have to be placed and none of you want that.
Wishing you the best.
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