I am learning how to handle my mom when she thinks that other girl is here, or now she thinks my cousin was here, her new roommate is a man & now she thinks there is another man there & is mad no one knows who he is. So far the help I have received tells me not to argue with her, lie & try to change the subject. My problem now is she is getting very upset with my cousin & her new roommate for not knowing anything about whatever she says. I don't know if anyone will understand any of this, very hard to explain.
So if her new roommate is a man, you can ask “How long has he lived here” or “How old is he” or any innocuous question, then ease into another topic.
You are being the best daughter that you can be, and your mom’s interaction with HER mother doesn’t have much to do with the kind of daughter YOU are.
Loving her is the best thing you can do, no matter what unusual things she says.
I would also call her doctor in case her meds need adjusting.
The part about “lie&try to change the subject” I would suggest “agree and distract”.
“Yes mom, it’s annoying when someone doesn’t understand us….. look! did you see that red bird? So unusual this time of the year. Let’s sit over here by the window in case he comes back.”
”She’s gone now. I asked her to leave. Did you like your new sweater? Oh let’s try it on now and make sure it fits.”
Watch Teepa Snow videos for ideas on how to help her.
“The 36 hour day” is a good reference book often recommended as a family guide for Alzheimer’s.