My husband had multiple brain aneurysms followed by strokes at age 58. He is now 72. He is currently in a memory care facility, but has always been very athletic and almost like a gym rat. How do I convince him its no longer safe for him to go to the gym, even though I am with him. His idea of exercising is lifting 300 pounds. Treadmill and bicycle are not even in his realm of exercise. The last time I took him to the gym, he passed out and fell. He was unconscious, which he denies. I called an ambulance. I have told him that the gym will not allow him back as he is a liability. He just will not accept the fact that he is not capable of exercising the same way as when he was young and healthy. It’s a daily question and constant battle.
Still, he has to exercise safely. Is there a guided exercise program that he can participate in?
I would, if you are his MPOA, go to his MD with him, and allow his MD to explain to him just what sort of exercise is now considered medically safe for his condition. Then that is what you must insist he is limited to.
Doesn't mean he will be happy he cannot go anymore, but it DOES mean he cannot go anymore if the MD feels it is unsafe. That covers you. You aren't responsible. You are obeying doctors orders.
Then do let his memory care place know that any exercises he CAN do should be encouraged.
We all have to give up things we wish we could still do. And it is always yet another loss. And we shouldn't expect to be happy about it. It is sad, and something to mourn. So let his emotions be expressed. That's a healthy way of handing the pain of another loss.
I sure wish you luck. But time to make the Doc the bad guy.
Moderation in all things, I say. Your husband needs to move (or thinks he does), so I would say you need to find something he can do safely where he is and with a doctor's approval.
If you find that you must do that, I would simply state that the DOCTOR says it is no longer safe for him to go to the gym.
Does he have exercise bands in his room that he can use?
Fact is, the man cannot go to the gym unless you are willing to take him and you're not.
My Dad was in Memory Care and he really enjoyed his twice a week physical therapy which were strength exercises. Medicare paid for this therapy, at that time.
When my Dad transferred to Memory Care it is very important to remember that "routine" is the best approach to dementia. Thus, I rarely took Dad off the facility property [doctor appts once in a great while].
You probably are wearing thin of the constant battle of him wanting to go to the gym. Does he ask any of the Staff to take him to the gym, or just you? If it is just you, then his brain is relating you to the gym because you had taken him there.
Let's hope his brain will forget focusing on the gym in due time.
I mention showing up without you because the husband of a neighbor managed to call a Uber and disappear from the care home where he was living. The Uber took him to his marital home a hundred miles away. He didn’t get to stay long but he was proud of himself for doing it.