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His name is George and he has a son. When we asked him how George was he said how would I know. We wanted to know where George was and he wouldn't tell us. We his friends of many years can't understand this. George was having trouble speaking and walking after his second stroke. We just want to know where he is and how he's doing. We have get well cards we all signed with phone numbers George can call to talk to us. Surly he would feel better to know we all care and love him. We understand with covid we can't visit yet but when all vaccinations are done we want to. Can anyone help.

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To much personal information. This is a caregiver forum, please take his last name and bday off.
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I will probably get some feedback on this.. but:
call nursing homes close by...tell ask them politely, do you need a room number to mail him a greeting card? be polite, careful and patient.
I understand George is residing here, do we need a room number to mail him a get well card? One by one nursing home, rehab facility, 6 pack, homecare.. etc. You may want to make the a card , and send one to the son.. please tell your dad he is missed, we love him, and is there anything we can do for you, Daniel, to help you out in this time of need?" WE MISS YOUR DAD=OUR FRIEND.
Start with hospital city, and then go from there. clear your mind....
If he had a stroke... he may not be able to call anyone... truthfully.. he may not have the capability... I am sorry to say that... honestly you need to be prepared. He may not be able to do these things... Maybe Daniel is having a hard time too realizing his dad's new baseline for health...etc.

That happened to me too.... I found my LO in 5 minutes every time they moved him... I FREAKING FOUND HIM !!!! :) so be patient, NICE, KIND, UNDERSTANDING...If you can go directly to places, even with acovid, someone should answer the door distally, and Politley ask if he is not there, where would you suggest we look next?
It was awesome :) I visited him... HIS CARETAKER CRIED.... She DID NOT THINK HE HAD FAMILY !!!! He did... I miss him.... And he couldn't talk... but he did laugh and smile when he saw me... so just be prepared.... prayers are with you.

If you have any photoes of you and george... take them, and ask if you can tape them... or put them in an album so he can see them...IMPORTANT... trust me.
I put a little article and photo of him on the wall... Going from nobody to somebody made a bit of a difference...
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Isthisrealyreal Feb 2021
Great advice MAYDAY.

Especially moving was the "going from nobody to somebody" it truly makes a difference for the patient and the facility staff.
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Strictly speaking, confidentiality rules dictate that even if you do manage to hit on the nursing home where your friend has been admitted, the nursing home ought not to confirm to you that he is there. But humans are only human, and if you do as Mayday suggests and make friendly calls round the local facilities explaining your relationship and asking if they have a resident admitted there on [date], it may be that the confidentiality rules will get stretched a little and you'll find him.

After that, you could try an advertisement in the local newspaper, or a call to a local radio station asking them to put out an appeal. I'm sure you are right that he will benefit from knowing that his friends are thinking of him.
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Sorry, just as a PS -

Was your friend living in Assisted Living before his second stroke took him to hospital? Reading your profile, I'm wondering if you and his friends are all residents of the same ALF; and if that's so, perhaps the staff could help you at least get cards and messages forwarded to him?
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I agree with Mayday. Don't ask if he is there act like u know he is there. "Could you please give me the room number of George Jones" the receptionist will either say, "we have no George Jones here or give u a room number. If they say "sorry we cannot give out room numbers" then you know he is there.

If he is not there, just say, "sorry I was given info that he is there".
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any luck yet?
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How old is George? How old is his son? any other family? wife, kids, siblings?

keep looking....you will find him....
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This just happened in my family.....my brother has been blocking me from seeing or speaking to my 98 year old mom out of spite.

She got Covid from the caregiver that was living there. I found out she was released from the hospital to a nursing home but didn’t know where.

I called nursing homes in her area to see if she was a patient and I finally found her. I asked if she had a phone & they gave me the #.

Don’t give up........it’s not against any laws for them to tell you if they have a patient by that name. Good luck!
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worriedinCali Feb 2021
It actually IS against the law. Nursing homes are bound by HIPAA and just like with hospitals, cannot tell you if someone is a patient there. But that doesn’t mean a facility will abide by the law.
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What hospital was George taken to? Find out from family, if any, or from hospital where they took him to. If that doesn’t work, google local nursing homes & call. I feel so bad for you...can he write messages? Does he have your number? You know his cell phone number? Ask the hospital too. Good luck & hugs 🤗
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