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Would especially like expert anaswers and rationale regarding this! Thanks

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Very. Since dementia, especially Alzheimer's, affects the memory, it's far easier to follow a routine than to have things changed often. That's why holidays can frequently be upsetting to someone with dementia. The routine is changed and sometimes even the environment is changed. This can cause anxiety and confusion. Naturally, families want to celebrate with their loved ones who have dementia, but often keeping changes as few as possible is good.
Take care,
Carol
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My mom suffers from dementia and I have learned that routine is VERY important. Even times, which you would think a dementia patient wouldn't be as aware of, is very important. I bring meals at the same time, bring her pills at the same time, and set her tv to tune her favorite shows at the same time each day. She is very aware of time. And I always put things in the same place. Her pills, remote, etc. She lives on our property and has her own small house and making sure that things are always in the same place and on the same schedule really helps her feel safe and confident.
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Yes, routine is very important. My Mom's short-term memory is progressivily getting worse and so when routine is kepted routine I believe the short term events at some point switche over to her more reliable long-term memory and she is less stressed.
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Agree. VERY important. Especially things you want them to do everyday. I immediately did all the cooking, so he would stay away from the stove. I made sure he did things for himself, things that would help ME in my caring for him. Of course, over time even the regular routine is sometimes forgotten. But anything you can do to make it easier for you.
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Yes, I agree
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I agree with the expert. In my husbands case nothing could be even moved in slightest in his bedroom - if, after dusting the bookshelves, one of the "memory pictures" I put there for him, was moved from the right to the middle, I saw him become confused, agitated by watching his hand. He would move it from side to side and it was for me to find out what was causing his distress. So would point from picture to picture and watch his eyes - and bingo, one was not in the right place. Once it was back were he thought it ought to be, he smiled and relaxed. Everything needed to stay the same for him to feel comfortable, move something and he was lost. The same with the routine of daily bathing - washing first, then shaving, then brushing teeth. Tried to brush his teeth before shaving and he would simply clamp his mouth shut. It took me a while to figure it out: routine in everything as much as possible. I think of dementia as being stuck in the snow with your car - the wheels are spinning but you are not going anywhere. The loved one is stuck in a place and time that he knows and feels secure, and in my case I had to figure it out . Since we had been married for 46 years I could read his eyes, they always gave me a clue if something was off.
Hope that helps.
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My mom entered an assisted living facility 4 months ago, and she is like a different person than when she was alone at home. Her self esteem has improved because she is able to ' be present' and do things she could never do if she was not there. Still confused and demanding [and not so nice to me at times] but we are all able to handle these changes as they come up. She tends to blame the assisted living facility for her confusion, but when I ask if she wants to come home, she says 'no!'
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The routine thing, I have notice my mil has less agitation and less agitation help me as well.I say, use the routine thing if it will help the both of you have a smoother day.
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Daisy, without you realizing it, you are blessed that your mom doesn't want to come home. Please don't ask her again. She might say YES and then you'd be sorry. Caring for dementia patients at home, even with paid caregivers is difficult beyond words. The stress would take a toll on you. No one can afford that extra burden. Sending hugs and blessings for you and Mom. Corinne
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Routine VERY important to elderly, even if no dementia. My Mom just "loses it" if anyone suggests doing something at a different time. She got so upset when daughter not available to take in gabage can from curb, or if aide changes bath time.
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Just another thought regarding routine. I changed items on nitestand, so flashlight would be closer for Mom to reach..it was moved back "her" way within a week! After scrubbing floor and slightly moving kitchen table a half a inch, my Mom, with all her strength moved it back "where it's supposed to be.". I find myself being resentful and hurt, as I am just trying to make life easier for my elderly Mom, but realize I can't, as she denies being older. She wants things as they were. Any suggestions.
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Mom expects the same breakfast every morning. I can add things to it, but that scrambled egg, yoghurt, and Little Debbie cinnamon roll better be there. The coffee must have the cream there. Gets flustered when I take a second to get it.
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gropup, the suggestion that some to mind is simply to keep things the way your mother expects it to be. You are only trying to help, but when you realize that it agitates your mother to have the flashlight in a different spot, then leave it where she wants it.
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Agree with gropup. Routine is acually beneficial to us all, but especially as we age. I hate it when my parents housecleaner decides to organize their pantry or medicine cabinet the way she thinks it should be. I have to tell her - it's been this way for 30 years - they won't be able to find anything! Sometimes the rigidity is frustrating and boring for me, but I tell myself I will be there someday.
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I am soooo thankful for this web site and to be able to read and learn from other's experiences. It's been only one month since my 93 yrs old mom (with Alzheimer's) is living with my husband and I already think I'll be gone before she does. The "sundowner" thing is the worst. Even finding a geriatric Primary Physician that takes Medicare is proving to be impossible, so placing her in a nursing home is a dream at this point. I have realized that it takes 3 shifts of trained personnel to take care of these patients, not an untrained daughter on a 24 hour shift! Thank you all for your input. I'm learning a lot. Thanks to the staff that makes the web site possible!!
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Routine is paramount for my mother (age related dementia) as well. Same time for meals, bedtime, pills, everything. She can no longer tell time, but she comes at the same time each day to see if meals are being prepared, if I have fed the dogs, etc. Sundowners really affects her, too, so every day I turn on the lights as soon as the afternoon sun starts to fade. While it is often inconvenient for me to stick to her routine, it certainly is less stressful if she is content.
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Yes, it is very important. We try our best to stick to a regular routine. We have found that some of the CNAs do not seem to understand or care of the importance of a rroutine. Many people claim that have experience working with patients who have dementia, but actually do not. It takes patience, understanding, and compassion. My mom realizes she forgets. Sometimes she cries. I then reassure her that my brother and I are here to help her. We let her know that we will not neglect or harm her. Also, we will not allow others to neglect or harm her. We remind her that she taught us well. We like routine and order very much - none of us like confusion or unnecessary drama. Life in and of itself has problems, we don't have invite it or encourage more problems.
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As all these answers indicate, routine can be very comforting and reassuring and even essential. The degree to which it is critical depends on the personality, the age, and the type of dementia, and the stage it is in. You get to know your own loved one and become a good judge of how much to conform to routine. (Don't knock routine without trying it, though!)

You get to learn, too, when it is worthwhile to break the routine. When going to an afternoon concert is worth the disruption to the routine. When a vacation from routine is just what is needed. My husband's neurologist said many times "novelty-seeking experiences are therapeutic." He always asked if we'd taken any interesting trips or done anything out of the ordinary since we'd last seen him.

Balancing the benefit of routine and the benefit of breaking routine sometimes is another one of those skills we learn on the job!
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I have to agree for I get a bit bent out of shape when routines go wacko. Yet, I am getting better each day.
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nj2bfree....If you think about daily routines and how they affect you it is easier to understand. Have you ever had a power outage and walked into a dark room and automatically flipped the switch out of habit? Or had a Monday holiday off of work and all week long you got your days of the week confused? The first few days after daylight savings felt more awake or more tired because of he hour difference.
Or ...go to a place that's very familiar and it was remodeled or items on shelves in a store were changed and you feel unorganized and lost?
I went to the Dr's with Mom one day, and you know how there's a bunch of different doors all in one hallway? Well the Dr. and I needed to chat without Mom hearing so we went into the hall left Mom in the room, chatted and when I turned around to go back into the room that I just a few minutes before walked out of I wasn't sure which door it was. I looked at the Dr and said "now I know how she feels."
We are all creatures of habit I think and with Dementia it's just a lot more intensified.
My Mom is so into the routine now that she knows when the good looking man brings up the food cart and where to sit to get the best view of him! She is confused about our Mother- Daughter relationship but knows I am the one that gets her ice cream
(I trained he to welcome me).
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I am nearly 65, don't have dementia, I need routine. It make me feel more secure. I still have a job, drive, cook, sew, clean, exercise. bathe myself, etc, but I really need routine. You can set your watch by my activities. Fortunately, I live in a safe neighborhood.
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Wow I just had a revelation.... As I am reading through the posts about routine, It hit me as to why parents give children a difficult time, how they lose their patients with family and not strangers, and possibly why they want to go home when they are home...... It's so simple, that it's not obvious ....it's not routine, for years they been teaching and guiding us keeping us safe, cleaning up for us, caring for us when we are sick, driving us around, making us take a bath, etc. They might want to go home because in their home they don't have to listen to anyone tell them this is how we do it now, even if they are home they don't feel like they are at home because in their home they tell you how it is going to be.
I knew this but I never look at it as a routine issue.
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My mom has moderate dementia and lives with us. She is often misplacing things but does not care if I move anything in her room. I often suggest it would be easier for you to get at if it is placed here and she is happy with that. I am lucky she is this way after reading other comments. She does forget where she puts things and that at times gets me very angry.
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suzycaregiver
You are lucky that works for you. My mom hides her things all the time. I do a quick run through and if I don't find it, she'll say "I haven't had that in years, I must of lost it." Often it is her purse she had 5 minutes before. I have told her to place purses and such right on her dresser where she can see it. She always says someone will steal it from there. I cannot win.
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wuvsicecream - you are right on! I hate going back to a remodeled grocery store. And I've thot the same thing "now I know how she feels."
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I am also thankful for this website, it is so enlightening and an eyeopener. My 88 year old husband is a stickler for organization, and things put back in its rightful place. He was looking for his urinal a few days ago under the end table near the couch in the living room. He did not see it in its usual place. I saw it by the front leg of the table and could not understand how he missed seeing it. I moved the couch so he could see it but he was so busy making a big nasty fuss about why was it moved and why can't things stay where he knows they are. I was being attacked for moving it when he used it and placed it in the spot where it was. He forgot he placed it there. He knows I have an issue with the urinal in the living room let alone one is placed in all the rooms that he frequents. He has even walked past the bathroom to get the urinal in the bedroom. This has turned into a lazy habit from what I can see. I am at the point now to just let them do what they want to do. These are their habits and I cannot change it, logic and reasoning has gone out the window.
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You know,,i have worked with alzheimers patients in the pass in nursing homes now i go to their homes and i personally i like it.The Thing is they are in their homes and they can established a regular routine and sometimes its hard to get them out of it espcially if they are used to it pulling away a routine from a alz patient will cause problem, you are intrupting the lifestyle they didnt ask for..it was their mind that put them there and its sad but we have to make the best of it ,so setting a routine for them is the best thing for them to me. i have worked them for years now and to tell you the truth i really enjoy working with them...
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Not only is Routine essential it takes a long time for it to set in but once it does it is the one thing they hold on to. My mom has Alz and after nearly a year she remembers that she goes to day care every day (she calls it work) and that her boyfriend (bus driver) picks her up and brings her home. She still forgets that she lives with me but that is because sun downers sets in right about the time she comes home and lasts for a few hours. But, she still remembers day care as work and her bus driver picks her up.
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My husband and took his mother in to live with us in Oct. She has dementia.She is 90. The stories she comes up with are so funny, you just have to go along with most of them if you tell her differant she gets fustrated. We are learning along the way. She was doing real good but now can hardly walk. We as a family feel it is time for her to go into a home. This will be hard for us to let her go. But they have the skills to help her.
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You guys are ALL fabulous! Thanks so much for being there to share the load with all of us! Amazingly blessed!
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