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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My husband can not shower himself. I shower him every other day. Older folks skin gets dry and fragile. Also, older folks are not exerting energy like going out for a jog or lifting weights. I find that every other day works before the armpits start to give off an odor. I also use Medline Ready Bath Luxe bathing cloths that they use in the hospital if I feel he needs a wipe down in between shower days. Hope that helps. Older people, if they are unstable, begin to get fearful of taking a shower because they are unstable. If his shower does not have safety handles or a seat then this could also be an issue.
Ideally, every day. Hair should be washed several times every week. Dry, fragile skin can benefit from a moisturizing lotion after cleansing. In my hospital, we bathe the seniors - and every other younger person - daily.
People tend to get too hung up over "showers" rather than simply looking at the issues of hygiene. Showers can be cold and cruel for those who are very sensitive to the cool air. Others might love standing in the warm water. Again, some elders have really sensitive skin and cannot stand much exposure to water. It is perfectly alright for any person to skip showers if they do not like them. One can get perfectly clean with a variation of a bath. For my aunt and uncle the perfect solution was to sit on a chair in front of a sink of warm soapy water, wearing a large bathrobe, then using a washcloth to clean one area at a time. Most of their bodies were kept warm by the robe and towels, the area being washed was warmed by the washcloth. Obviously, they would stand to wash their backsides, but most areas of the body are easily cleaned without getting cold.
melcur: Imho, the answer to your query will, in part, be determined if the 95 year old is using bath/toileting wipes after toileting. If they are doing so, then every third or fourth day would be deemed okay as far as bathing or showering with cleanups if necessary on non bath days. Of note is that elders' skin is often too thin for daily bathing, but certain parts of the body can be kept clean with bath wipes.
My dad was in his 90s when he became very sick, and this question came up. His caregiver, a dear and sweet lady, said that women don't need a bath or shower every day, but "I'm trying to think of how to say this in a nice way, but a man have a certain odor, and he need shower or bath every day." Dad was compliant, so it wasn't too hard to get him to do it, and she did it. Just throwing this in for information you might not have thought about.....
A Geriatric Psychiatrist can sedate her; it will help her stay calm, but hopefully not unsteady. Please have her reevaluated to see if she might be ready for Memory Care where much more attention is paid to the patient.
My mother-in-law smells strongly. She lives in assisted living and is bathed twice a week. She fights the staff each time. It isn’t like they treat her poorly. It is her state of mind. She thinks she was railroaded into assisted living when the alternative was the state mental institution. She was at her sister’s but her nephew wanted her out - just too difficult to deal with and she refused to go home- thinking it was haunted. It was just filthy and a hoarder house.
She can’t smell the odor, doesn’t want to be bothered and fights everyone and everything. If she had her choice, she would live in filth.
The ALF asked about the odors in her room, which is a combination of her dog and her. We told them that they are in charge of the facility and caring for her and so they clean the apartment regularly and she is required to have the showers.
We arrange for the dog to be groomed regularly.
We have asked for a referral to a neurologist so that she can receive the appropriate medication for anxiety, dementia, and her delusions that she experiences and that have made her life miserable. It aught to help with the showering as well.
Every morning, I gave her a warm soapy wash cloth so she could wash her face and arms. Every other day, I helped her change her bra, and washed her back, neck and assisted in washing her breasts. She was incontinent, so at least three times a day, I cleaned her rear end, put cream on to prevent pressure ulcers, and made sure she had new pull ups. Once a week I soaked her feet and powered them, cleaned her legs, and put lotion on. Clean pads and sheets daily. Once a month to the hairdresser for some special pampering. Our routine worked. She died in January at age 93.
My mother is 95 and she gets a shower every Sunday. She doesn't like it and she yells for her mother while telling me how mean I am, but she doesn't get to run the show and afterward she always comments on how good she feels being clean.
I have a shower chair that I sit her on and the shower head is on a rope thing and it all takes maybe 10 minutes at most. Then she goes through the lengthy process of getting every drop of water off her skin. I roll her hair, dress her, change her sheets and she's good to go for another week.
She gets her clothes changed daily during the week and I keep her back side clean as well as her hands.
I give my mother a shower every other day. Why? She perspires a lot and after a day she smells. I’ve tried morning showers, afternoon showers ( they are the worst behavior wise). Now we do 7:30 pm. Once showered ( ivory liquid soap) we lotion dry areas, shave (women’s facial shaver) blow dry her hair, dress for bed. Once all is complete, she gets meds, sits in recliner until 8:30 -9:00pm then she’ll ask to go to bed. She seems to sleep all night after evening showers, hasn’t been up/down all night long as before.
Incontinency is a common problem with the elderly. It is the leading cause for people to be in nursing homes! Whether they are incontinent or not, twice a week shower is a good target to shoot for! Resisting showers is also a common problem! In many situations you are dealing with an adult child who wants things there way. Act like their parent and you set the rules ! Good luck!
The issue is that bathing is a big challenge for seniors. Physically, but also mentally. Such a private thing, they wish they could still do themselves, so they avoid it.
You can help that with the right temperature, not too hot on the water but warm enough in the room. Calming music. The right person that makes them feel safe
That said..
#1 As much as is medically necessary. Maybe 1x week. And that can be fulfilled with lesser degrees of bathing between.
#2 Whatever is a good routine. They need the right person to help them feel safe. 1x week is pretty normal.
#3 If you skip a week but clean thoroughly in key areas and the such, no need to stress on it. Be flexible. The key is health. They bathed 2x year in some 1800s villages. Lol
Hello, my dad stopped all hygiene at age 96. He’s in assisted living but becomes quite agitated when staff attempts to shower him or help with shaving or brushing his teeth. We don’t force it on him. He has no body odor and his teeth look fine. He still dresses sharp everyday and keeps his ribbon of hair tamed. He is a stubborn and proud man. We let him control as much of his life as he can.
My MIL only showers about once a month. She's 87 and very active, but her hair doesn't get greasy and she has no body odor. It's weird, but she just doesn't need to.
Honestly, twice a week should be sufficient, as you can use the extra large body wipes and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps(both you can order from Amazon, or Walmart.com)for the in between days if needed. But like Grandma1954 said below, make sure she is being properly cleaned up after each bowel movement and change of diaper.(again the extra large body wipes come in handy for that)
Personal hygiene, cleaning any area that has been soiled by urine or fecal matter as needed. In many cases 2 showers a week are sufficient Bed bath can be done as well or in addition. But at each change properly cleaning the peri area. Clean, dry and if ointment/barrier cream is used pat it on do not rub it on and use as little as possible as long as it is effective. During a shower or cleaning it is not necessary to remove all of any residual cream gently wipe the area as well as you can.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She can’t smell the odor, doesn’t want to be bothered and fights everyone and everything. If she had her choice, she would live in filth.
The ALF asked about the odors in her room, which is a combination of her dog and her. We told them that they are in charge of the facility and caring for her and so they clean the apartment regularly and she is required to have the showers.
We arrange for the dog to be groomed regularly.
We have asked for a referral to a neurologist so that she can receive the appropriate medication for anxiety, dementia, and her delusions that she experiences and that have made her life miserable. It aught to help with the showering as well.
Every morning, I gave her a warm soapy wash cloth so she could wash her face and arms. Every other day, I helped her change her bra, and washed her back, neck and assisted in washing her breasts. She was incontinent, so at least three times a day, I cleaned her rear end, put cream on to prevent pressure ulcers, and made sure she had new pull ups. Once a week I soaked her feet and powered them, cleaned her legs, and put lotion on. Clean pads and sheets daily. Once a month to the hairdresser for some special pampering. Our routine worked. She died in January at age 93.
I have a shower chair that I sit her on and the shower head is on a rope thing and it all takes maybe 10 minutes at most. Then she goes through the lengthy process of getting every drop of water off her skin. I roll her hair, dress her, change her sheets and she's good to go for another week.
She gets her clothes changed daily during the week and I keep her back side clean as well as her hands.
The entire affair takes around 1.5 hours at most.
I hate doing it but it must be done.
In many situations you are dealing with an adult child who wants things there way. Act like their parent and you set the rules ! Good luck!
You can help that with the right temperature, not too hot on the water but warm enough in the room. Calming music. The right person that makes them feel safe
That said..
#1 As much as is medically necessary. Maybe 1x week. And that can be fulfilled with lesser degrees of bathing between.
#2 Whatever is a good routine. They need the right person to help them feel safe. 1x week is pretty normal.
#3 If you skip a week but clean thoroughly in key areas and the such, no need to stress on it. Be flexible. The key is health. They bathed 2x year in some 1800s villages. Lol
But like Grandma1954 said below, make sure she is being properly cleaned up after each bowel movement and change of diaper.(again the extra large body wipes come in handy for that)
In many cases 2 showers a week are sufficient
Bed bath can be done as well or in addition.
But at each change properly cleaning the peri area. Clean, dry and if ointment/barrier cream is used pat it on do not rub it on and use as little as possible as long as it is effective. During a shower or cleaning it is not necessary to remove all of any residual cream gently wipe the area as well as you can.