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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Djnorris, I'm so sorry. I'm not going to say "take care of yourself first" cuz I hate when people say that. Instead, I will say "get it all out, girlfriend!" Tomorrow is another day. The sun will shine, the birds will still sing, and yes you will get out of bed and live thru another day. Stay strong. My MIL used to have a sign near her desk at the family business, it read: A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure. Together, we are a jewelry box! take a deep breath and know that although we don't have a magic fix, here you are among friends that understand!
My husband and I live with my 83 year old mother and she has lots of health problems, a very bad attitude, and dementia as well. We finally about six month's ago found a wonderful lady to come stay with mother when we need her and that is usually the way it is...when we need her, rarely a fun get away. Mother starts in with her making me feel bad as soon as I tell her the sitter is coming. And, when we get back, the rude comments to make me feel guilty for leaving her. It is pitiful the way she acts. The sitter charges $12.00 an hour, so we can't call on her too often.
In 3 and a half years living here, the real get away times, like overnight, is when my husband has to go for his cancer check ups at MD Anderson in Houston, TX. every six months. It is a stressful time, but at least we have a couple of nights to be gone from mother. This past time, we just got one night get-away. But, it was so nice to be away from mother.
But, getting it all arranged to be gone for a couple of nights is a so stressful, but when we pull out of the driveway, I tell myself, there is nothing else I can do and whatever happens at home with mother just has to happen, my husband needs me these couple of days more than mother needs me.
I tell you what...being a caregiver for my mother has been so stressful And, it's not getting better...it's getting worse because of her health and bad attitude and dementia.
I have learned to accept I am not going anywhere for a while. If you can, get away every other month for a long weekend. That's what we used to do, BC. We have not gotten away yet, but I think one or two date nights a week and Sunday morning brunch keeps me almost sane. Or it could be the mimosas. My husband gets to travel for business, so at least he gets away. My kids got me gift certificates for massage, facials, mani-pedicures, and movie tickets for Christmas, and gift card to my favorite restaurant. THINK Mini. It helps:)
My mother is under Hospice care (since Nov. 1) and Hospice will take her for 5 days, compliments of Medicare, (as long as they have space available at the Hospice facility) and I have to pay $175/day for any extra days, to give me a break. I think they will only do it once a year with Medicare paying. They also pay for the ambulance to transport her there and home. I'm in Michigan... maybe other states are different?
Here we go again. I just can't believe how many threads I can relate to since joining the group a couple months ago. I think getting away is crucial for one's mental well-being. The problem is a) convincing our loved on that there is a need; b) convincing them that just because they have chosen to not go with us on vacation doesn't mean that we shouldn't be able to go; c) taking them down memory lane with the reminder that when they were our age, they took plenty of vacations; d) convincing them to allow an in-home service check up on them, help them a couple times a day (or even stay the entire time we are gone); e) finding an elder care site for them to stay at (and again convincing them to go); f) finding the monies to pay for everything. As for me, just let me get a couple overnight beach trips away each year and I would be happy.
I like a smaller time frame and more frequent for a get away. It's easier to plan for (say 3 or 4 days) and it gives a much needed break. I take it as often as possible. I can get family members and others to pitch in if it isn't for too long a period. You come back refreshed and ready to handle things, and can look forward to something coming up again in the near future. Even if it's only a two-day escape, it's very helpful! And the shorter period of time is easier on the person being cared for as well, because (if they are still in the realm of understanding) they can handle a shorter absence.
I was struggling with this as well, my parents are in NH care, with one event after another! I am constanly on guard for another issue to show up but after the sudden decline of my parents over the past yr I KNOW I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK! I feel said about the health state of my parents but there's nothing more I can do right now.
So why do I feel "shame" to tell other's that dear hubby and I are taking an 8 day cruise? like another poster stated, my other family member run for the hills at the mere suggestion of filling in my shoes! They take vactions, I see their Face Book posts showing them at parties, parades, concerts just having a blast, well guess what, why shouldn't we enjoy life too! I'm packed for this cruise, Mom and Dad are in good care and I have my neices as my point of contacts. Their Mom, my only sibling...has disappeared from the radar screen.
For all of us, a break is in order especially those who are care givers at home. Our mental and physical health is what keeps us going and going.
Sorry for all that, guess I just needed to confirm and vent but I support time out! Take care of yourself!
I would use every opportunity to get away. The problem, for most folks in this forum, is in trying to find people who will fill in for you, that your parent will accept, and having the funds to pay for it.
"As often as you can swing it" is so true, Stldaddysgrl!! I left a post earlier but I'd like to add that people should be careful not to let themselves get into the trap of thinking, "I'm the only one in the world that can take care of Mom/Dad properly so I'll never get a break." Yes, we can do it better than anybody else because we care more than anybody else, but we also started out not knowing anything... at least I did. But there's a lot of good people that also care and can do what needs to be done. If something happened to you, somebody else would take over. If I was taking care of someone else's mother, they would get the same dedicated care I give to my mother and I believe a lot of other caregivers would be the same way. So I also say "get away as often as you can swing it." You'll be a better caregiver when you return.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In 3 and a half years living here, the real get away times, like overnight, is when my husband has to go for his cancer check ups at MD Anderson in Houston, TX. every six months. It is a stressful time, but at least we have a couple of nights to be gone from mother. This past time, we just got one night get-away. But, it was so nice to be away from mother.
But, getting it all arranged to be gone for a couple of nights is a so stressful, but when we pull out of the driveway, I tell myself, there is nothing else I can do and whatever happens at home with mother just has to happen, my husband needs me these couple of days more than mother needs me.
I tell you what...being a caregiver for my mother has been so stressful And, it's not getting better...it's getting worse because of her health and bad attitude and dementia.
Bless all of us caregivers!!
My husband gets to travel for business, so at least he gets away.
My kids got me gift certificates for massage, facials, mani-pedicures, and movie tickets for Christmas, and gift card to my favorite restaurant. THINK Mini. It helps:)
So why do I feel "shame" to tell other's that dear hubby and I are taking an 8 day cruise? like another poster stated, my other family member run for the hills at the mere suggestion of filling in my shoes! They take vactions, I see their Face Book posts showing them at parties, parades, concerts just having a blast, well guess what, why shouldn't we enjoy life too! I'm packed for this cruise, Mom and Dad are in good care and I have my neices as my point of contacts. Their Mom, my only sibling...has disappeared from the radar screen.
For all of us, a break is in order especially those who are care givers at home. Our mental and physical health is what keeps us going and going.
Sorry for all that, guess I just needed to confirm and vent but I support time out!
Take care of yourself!
If I was taking care of someone else's mother, they would get the same dedicated care I give to my mother and I believe a lot of other caregivers would be the same way.
So I also say "get away as often as you can swing it." You'll be a better caregiver when you return.
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