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Does anyone have any knowledge about a term called compassionate dishonesty to get their loved one who is refusing to go into an assisted living community? They are a brittle type 1 diabetic and in stage 1 dementia with behavioral issues. They are also self medicating insulin causing several near death experiences.

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Lucky916, good luck, I remember back when my Mom refused to move to a senior community. Nope, nada, never. My Dad would have packed in a NY minute to move to the community if Mom said yes.

Like many of us here on the forum, one had to wait until there was a medical 911 emergency. Thus, from hospital to Rehab to Assisted Living. That is how my Mom finally moved into a nursing home as she needed more care than what an Assisted Living could provide. At home, my Mom had a serious fall with head trauma.

Dad, on the other hand, decided on an Independent Living facility which he really liked. And later on he was able to move to their Assisted Living/Memory Care area. He loved being around people of his own age group, plus all the "new ears" to hear his stories :)
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Often our own caregiving enables seniors who would have been in care for some time to continue to avoid a need for care.
The best way is honesty, which in Stage 1 is likely to be at least understood. That would be that the senior is living in unsafe and life threatening conditions that you are trying a disaster-shoot daily; that you can not go on any longer doing this and that the senior must have a safer environment. Tell your loved one that you will help with this move.
That is the place to start. You do not tell us your relationship to this person, nor if you have POA. Wishing you good luck. If you have specific situation we can help with hope you will write another question for us.
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You probably mean Therapeutic Fibs.......lying to your loved one to get her into Assisted Living. I find it to be a NECESSITY with my mother for a ton of reasons, not just because of dementia, and use therapeutic fibs all the time. Maybe you can tell her it's Doctors Orders that she get the help and medication management offered in AL. Or that her current home must be sold to pay back taxes.....I don't know. Depends how "with it" she is and how creative you can be. Speak to her PCP to see if he's in agreement that AL would be best, that's a good start.

If all else fails, you may have to wait for The Crisis to happen. She gets hospitalized, goes to rehab and they won't release her back to living independently. Then she has no other choice.

Good luck.....I know how nerve wracking these elder care situations can be.
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