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Recently my uncle, who has all ways been a narcissist, has been getting worse and worse. Everyone is in denial. It’s really coming out lately. Just this week we had pizza. My boyfriend and I ordered separately. The pizza came, I took three pieces (I was starving) my uncle said, "Why don’t you just eat one at a time? You don’t really need three do you?" My boyfriend went off on him. No one else stood up for me. I’m still hurt and angry at this. My uncle does not know me or my eating habits. It’s none of his business what or when I eat. I never liked him, I still don’t. Why do you need to know what I eat? He has been just blurting things out without thinking. He is on 25 meds, has strokes. That’s what is doing it. No, he is a true narcissist. A mean and nasty person. My dad's side has always been mean, but this tops it. Everyone is in denial. I know his wife is acting just like him. I could go and on about his behavior and how he acts, No, it’s not the meds effecting him. He is a true narcissist. Mean and rude plain and simple.

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Making a comment about you eating 3 slices of pizza does not make your uncle a 'narcissist' or indicate that he's some awful monster with horrible behavior.

If you don't like his running commentary, or him, don't order pizza and eat with him in the future, that's your best bet Lolaloud.
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anytown Aug 2022
not directed at the OP in particular, but 'narcissist' on the internet has come to mean 'anyone I don't like'
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'The pizza came I took three pieces I was starving my uncle said why don’t you just eat one at a time you don’t really need three do you my boyfriend went off on him no one stood up for me I’m still hurt and angry at this my uncle does not no me or my eating habits it’s none of his business what I eat when I eat why all of a sudden I never liked him I still don’t.'

that's an 81 word sentence.
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My SO has been known to eat multiple slices of pizza. Like most GUYS, he gets no crap for it. Women however have gotten crap from childhood, which is where I think this comes from.
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And the fact no one stood up for me except for my boyfriend showing me peoples true colors
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No doubt, his comments were rude and uncalled for, and you have every right to be angry.

But rudeness isn't the same thing as narcissism.

If you aren't responsible for hands on care of your uncle, and he has been rude to you for as long as you can remember, your best bet is to limit your time with him, especially when it comes to sharing meals.
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I would love to know your age because I think your young. Your using a phone and like texting, you are not putting in any punctuation. A coma in the wrong place changes the whole meaning of the sentence.

I think you overreacted. Having multiple strokes can cause cognitive problems even Dementia. With Dementia and even just a stroke, people lose their filters. Strokes damage brains. What comes into the person's head may come right out of their mouth. You should have ignored his comment and your BF should have said nothing. No one stood up for you because you were both wrong and someone should have pulled you aside and told you that.

I have grandsons 28 and 9 yrs old and I have found that neither have been taught manners because they were never sat down to eat dinner as a family. Mom and Dad eat in the living room watching TV and grandsons were delegated to the table alone. My 9 yr old does not know how to cut a piece of meat.

Your Uncle was correct, when you eat a piece of pizza, you eat one piece at a time out of the box. No problem eating 3 slices just one at a time from the box. Sometimes our eyes are bigger than our stomachs. No one may want a pc of pizza that u have already had your hands on. I think your boyfriend owes your Uncle an apology.
There is a certain respect you should give people much older than you.
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lealonnie1 Aug 2022
Lolaloud has been posting on AgingCare for a long time, JoAnn.......and a coma is a semi-conscious state someone falls into. A comma is a form of punctuation. Just sayin'.........words CAN change the meaning of a sentence :)
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Sorry if my writing is it perfect. I am on my iPad, not my phone. My age not going to say I thought this a forum was supposed to be safe and just talk and even complain I guess my writing is a problem.
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JoAnn29 Aug 2022
Sorry, I just don't understand why u can't let the comment go. He has had strokes that damage the brain. If he had Dementia would you have reacted the same way? And I understand the pad thing, (coma vs comma thing) thats what I use. Maybe it was the straw that broke the Camels back? Meaning not the only comment he made that night and you lost it? Or he makes these type of comments all the time and you lost it. I had an Uncle like that and we ignored him. He called my daughter fat (she was 12) and here he is 300#. She said nothing but she also stayed away from him that point on. I apologize, ur right this should be our safe place to fall.
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