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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Our daughter's mad at me, I let him drink. Am I wrong to let him drink a few ever other day. He sleeps most the day and wants to go for a drink. I only let him have 3 glasses of beer, Am I killing him or do i make him Happy?
Hi Caroled. What does the doctor say about his drinking? My first instinct is that a few beers would not hurt him but I really do not know. Are the 3 beers going to turn into 4 someday and then 5 and then more and more? Are they big glasses of beer. I ask this because my Mom used to say she only had one glass of wine a night but the glass was pretty darn big!! ( not a wine glass!)
Your daughter is may just worried about her Dad overall. How long has it been since he was diagnosed? My suggestion is to do what the doctor says and if the doctor says a little beer is OK then tell your daughter. If your daughter is still concerned with Dad's health would it help her to take her to one of his doctor appointments? Maybe let her ask the doctor about her concerns?
Personally, if it isn't affecting his health badly (by talking to the doctor about it), I would let him have beer or wine. He's 80 years old, and if that's his only vice, then that's good. I'm sure your daughter is just concerned about her dad, but as long as he keeps the number of drinks down and doesn't drink and drive, I really can't see what the problem is. He's already losing his mind and independence a little at a time - so if it makes him happy - so be it. IMO, I doubt seriously you're going to kill him with a little beer or wine. Good luck!!
That is not enough to hurt him, IMHO:) it will probably keep him happy: Positive and Calm. He may live longer. If he does not have any liver problems, let him enjoy his beer and wine. Daughter loves her Daddy, but she could read up on what a few drinks a day does for elders. You know your husband, so relax and keep him happy. Cheers:) xo
If he has Alzheimer's and prostate cancer, I would say let him have his enjoyment. There is so little in life to enjoy when one gets old and sick. I agree with you letting him have beer if it doesn't interact badly with his medications. (And if it did, I would wonder whether the beer or medicine was most important for him.)
Just curious...would he know the difference if you gave him alchohol free wine or beer? Do what YOU think is best. Do you know why he wants a drink? Is it at home or in a bar? There is some sort of comfort he is finding there - Is it going out for a drink? Other people to yak with? Or is it just that he can no longer do that and it is an independence issue? If you can get to the bottom of that, I think it will make life easier for the family. Plus It isn't your job to make your daugther happy. If she is concerned, acknowledge her concerns and move on.
My Mom is 85 and loves her beer. She drinks 2-3 (if that) while she is cooking her dinner. She has dementia and it is progressing slowly. She has a daily caregiver and Im 5 miles away. Unless she starts ponding them I want her to do whatever she wants. The CG puts 2 beers in the refrig before she leaves in the evening and I keep an eye on how much she consumes. She seems to be fine for now. She takes meds but her MD says beer is fine. One day at a time....
A wise, happy, very elderly man once told me the secret to a happy life was to always have something to look forward to. Instead of "how are you" this gentelman greets people with a "what are you looking forward to today", the response to which he will listen intently. I think he is onto something. I applied this philosophy when taking care of dad.
So if your husband looks forward to his beer, enjoy.
My dad's doctor endorsed an occasional glass of wine, or drink, he did caution that some of the meds where ineffective with alcohol. My 92 yo dad would refrain from meds on special occasions, opting for the spirits.
Looking forward to going out to a "fancy" dinner and a glass of wine or a family meal increased my dad's quality of life. I do not believe it lessend his quantity, either way it is a price we happily would pay all over again.
If you are going to enoy a beer, make sure tonot to chase it with a fear-guilt shot.
My husband's neurologist gets pretty heated on the subject of my husband's drinking. She says it's a neurotoxin and it's best not to drink at all. What a spoilsport!
I let him drink because that is his favorite social activity. He is independent enough that I can't absolutely control him, and yet he still drinks somewhat more than I am comfortable with. He is supposed to order a beer and a club soda at the same time. Who knows what he does?
If you can keep his beers to two instead of three, that would be good, but if he's happy to stop at three, and would fight you at two, what are you going to do?
Does your daughter have any idea of what his life expectancy is? How bad is the prostate cancer? Does your daughter realize that he is going to die some time in the next 10 years? We don't know how involved with his care your daughter is. Can you just not tell her about it? If she is so involved, ask her to come over at "going out for a drink" time and fight it out with him herself.
Ask her to tell you calmly what she is concerned about. If she has unrealistic ideas of his future, maybe she should talk to the doctor to learn what's going on.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your daughter is may just worried about her Dad overall. How long has it been since he was diagnosed?
My suggestion is to do what the doctor says and if the doctor says a little beer is OK then tell your daughter. If your daughter is still concerned with Dad's health would it help her to take her to one of his doctor appointments? Maybe let her ask the doctor about her concerns?
Just some thoughts. Blessings to you and yours.
So if your husband looks forward to his beer, enjoy.
My dad's doctor endorsed an occasional glass of wine, or drink, he did caution that some of the meds where ineffective with alcohol. My 92 yo dad would refrain from meds on special occasions, opting for the spirits.
Looking forward to going out to a "fancy" dinner and a glass of wine or a family meal increased my dad's quality of life. I do not believe it lessend his quantity, either way it is a price we happily would pay all over again.
If you are going to enoy a beer, make sure tonot to chase it with a fear-guilt shot.
A toast to you and yours!
L
I let him drink because that is his favorite social activity. He is independent enough that I can't absolutely control him, and yet he still drinks somewhat more than I am comfortable with. He is supposed to order a beer and a club soda at the same time. Who knows what he does?
If you can keep his beers to two instead of three, that would be good, but if he's happy to stop at three, and would fight you at two, what are you going to do?
Does your daughter have any idea of what his life expectancy is? How bad is the prostate cancer? Does your daughter realize that he is going to die some time in the next 10 years? We don't know how involved with his care your daughter is. Can you just not tell her about it? If she is so involved, ask her to come over at "going out for a drink" time and fight it out with him herself.
Ask her to tell you calmly what she is concerned about. If she has unrealistic ideas of his future, maybe she should talk to the doctor to learn what's going on.