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I am full-time caregiver for my 90-year-old husband, who has White Matter dementia. He often wakes me up at night, so I nap during the day. He has taken to going out the front door while I'm asleep. Once he's out, he's lost. Doesn't know his address or phone number.


Sometimes, I can find him quickly. Other times, neighbors have found him and called the police. The police want me to put a tracking bracelet on him, but he absolutely refuses (he is strong enough to prevent it). Also, the monthly subscription isn't cheap.


I would like to put a double-cylinder deadbolt on the front door, which I can lock while I'm sleeping, or doing home chores where I can't watch him every minute. It seems like such an easy solution. However, I'm concerned a locksmith may refuse to do this. And am not sure I can do a good job of replacing the lock myself.


Insights appreciated, thanks.

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Thanks and blessings to everyone who provided such thoughtful answers.

I finally got up the courage to speak to a Sheriff's Deputy.

The deputy said to go ahead and install the double-sided lock, as it likely would prevent very dangerous escapes in the dark, falls on the front steps, etc.

Then I called a locksmith, who said, of course, we do those installs all the time for the very reason you called about.

I realize this is only a stopgap measure, and more steps are in our future. Thanks again to all.
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Schlage B562P Double Cylinder Deadbolt. I don’t think a locksmith will have any problem with this . The same key is used to look in or out . Hope this helps .
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Check with your local Alzheimers association to see what they suggest . Also call a locksmith and ask ..
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You can place locks up higher on the front door.
also attach bells to all doors that lead to outside.
my mom has sundowners-wanders at night .
we have attached bells to all door handles. My hubby has installed additional locks up higher on all doors that lead to outside.
we also have had to block off our kitchen area -as my mom would wander around kitchen-raid the fridge, leave fridge doors open, use microwave ( she actually blew up 2
microWaves ) then she would try to use the stove. So for many safety reasons-blocking off the kitchen area at night gave us some peace of mind.
Now she limited to wandering. I’m on night shift alert -as my hubby works. I recently had to resign from my part time nightly job. As my mom has become more aggressive at night -I didn’t want my hubby to have to deal with her alone. Or Heaven forbid if my mom called 911 or broke a window.
With sundowners, my mom has no sleep pattern. She doesn’t even sleep during the day -maybe a 10 minute catnap sometimes.
We are lucky when she doesn’t wander maybe 1 or 2 nights of the week (not consecutive though) it’s usually after 3 -4 straight days & nights of no sleep -she is finally exhausted.
Her doctor will not prescribe anything to make her drowsy.
Im in the process of getting my mom placed in an assisted living facility. They can provide 24/7 care . I’ve just gotten overwhelmed-my health is depleting. Her social worker & mine highly recommended that it’s time & for the best to get her placed.
They both have told me that for me to take care of me first !! Just like when on a plane “ need to put oxygen mask on ourselves first -to be able to care for others “
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I had the same problem with my mum and then my husband and I purchased this from Amazon. The best thing we've ever done. You can position it anywhere on the front door, plus it's really easy. Good luck.

Defender Security Satin Nickel U 10827 Door Reinforcement Lock – Add Extra, High Security to your Home and Prevent Unauthorized Entry – 3” Stop, Aluminum Construction Finish

https://www.amazon.com/Defender-Security-10827-Door-Reinforcement/dp/B00D2K367Y/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=front+door+lock+for+dementia&qid=1632069751&sr=8-6
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How about If you get a house alarm that when door opens, alarm goes off? If he’s 90, you must be no spring chicken yourself!? You need your sleep. If he’s a wanderer, he needs an ankle bracelet or wear another kind of tracking device. Hugs 🤗
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I’m reading what others are saying. I see the locks only work for certain ppl and certain situations. I guess it all depends on that person characteristics.
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Do the have door knob handles that can give a slight jolt nothing dangerous enough heat or spark light a child so they will not touch the handle
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Wow. That’s a hard one. Even if u get a tracking device he still is roaming. Same if u get dead bolt. That’s scary . God forbid if it’s a fire. What would happen if u take a nap when he does. Maybe u can lock him in the same room ur in. Make sure ur in a room with a bathroom. Put a small refrig. In the room lock the windows have a fan on or AC. Hopefully, he doesn’t feel trapped or hopefully nor become violent . This is a hard one. Once u wake up eat take him for a walk. Double check his meds could be an issue. If he doesn’t want the bracelet how about the necklace. Maybe u could say to him. Whomever he was close to say for eg. ur mom told me to give u this bracelet to wants u to where it to be safe.
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We had to purchase dad a transport chair after he got released from the behavior unit. The regular wheelchair he got when he 1st got released from the hospital had to be returned (medical supplier cited that it was showing he already had one). None of our stores had replacement chairs that we could purchase on the spot.

Needless to say, the transport chair has slowed him up big time from trying to get out the exits due to tiny wheels. But yes, he has figured out the brakes already.
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Yes you can do that people do it all the time to keep people with Alzheimer's and dementia in the house so they don't go out side and wonder off and get lost . I haven't been though that with my mom she used to lock the door and lock my brother out of the house I would tell her that he was out side she would say that he should be in the house by now it's dark outside. My brother is 65. My daughter's freind had to put one in to keep her grandma in the house. Your not being mean to him by putting one in your keeping him safe just make sure you keep it locked so he doesn't get out by himself . I saw that someone else said something about they think you can't do it because if theirs a fire they can't get in the house. You can get a key lock box and put it on the outside of your door and put a copy of the key in it and give someone the past code so they can get the key in a emergency. You might be able to give the fire department and other emergency people the code so they can get the key.
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answry Sep 2021
{lock my brother out of the house I would tell her that he was outside she would say that he should be in the house by now it's dark outside.} I'm sorry but this made me chuckle but sure your brother didn't find it funny.
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I don't know about that. I think a two-sided deadbolt lock might be illegal especially if you have to use a key from the inside to get out because of fire hazardness. My husband has dementia also and he slips out during the night sometimes half naked and I put an alarm on my bedroom door that goes off when he opens it. I know how hard it is to be the caregiver but we do it out of love. I have some stories that I could tell but I am sure you have the same. Just having someone to talk too make all the difference. I do hope and pray that you find a solution to keep him inside when you are sleeping. I have sleepless nights because my husband wanders at night and he gets lost in the house and can't find the bathroom. Good luck, hope to talk to you again...
Kaspma1952
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We installed a dead bolt with key access on our front door and a keyed doorknob at the top (like a doorknob which is usually for a bathroom/bedroom ) on the door to the stairs which connects our main floor to our walk-out basement. It can be unlocked from the downstairs side but not from the top. Any reputable locksmith should have no problem installing something similar/particularly if you explain the situation.
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I bought a chain lock which is easy to install with just couples nail. Twisted the chain couple times to make it shorter. Then, lock it with a small padlock.
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Memory12345: Imho, it is IMPERATIVE that you get restorative sleep albeit if you have to install locks, else you'll be good to no one including being a caregiver to your husband.
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Memory 12345, you’ve been given great advice, some of which I trust will be helpful to you. As poster Frances73 said, a black hole rug at front door may help. Alternatively I find the Vortex Optical Illusion rugs to look amazingly realistic and confusing; they just might cause your husband to avoid the “hole” in ground at front door. Here is a small and inexpensive one ($13.98 with free shipping on Amazon) via link  https://tinyurl.com/fn6k4ev8 

As a quick short term solution until you install different front door locks or add other devices to keep your husband from wandering out of the house when your back is turned, here is a brilliant round-doorknob-locking-device. This would be helpful on any round doorknobs which don’t even have to themselves lock (like your bedroom door). Again, this product is for purchase on Amazon and requires no installation, just snap it on and lock & unlock it with the provided key, here is the link  https://www.amazon.com/PRIME-LINE-S-4180-Door-Knob-Lock-Out-Device-–-Prevents-Turning-of-Door-Knob-and-Access-to-Keyhole/dp/B00BOZBDK6/ref=cm_wl_huc_item

The product name is Prime-Line S 4180 Door Knob Lock-Out Device  

Best wishes to you and your husband.
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We got a lock installed that requires you to push in a code (4 digits) to open the door. It can work on both sides of the door or you can disable it on one side. We used it on an interior door to keep my sister from wandering all over the house - the house was not totally "kid" proofed. Hope this helps!
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I have heard that putting a dark mat in front of the door can act as a deterrent, they see it as a hole and will be stopped. I once painted my bathroom floor black to hide an ugly linoleum. The cat refused to come in there!
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You should be able to do that and there are also alarms you can get. When I took car of my dad I had a camera on him so I could go outside for short periods but still be able to see what he was doing.
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Whatever solution you find just don’t forget your need to evacuate yourself in the event of an emergency.

Maybe you can get an ID bracelet on him with your emergency contact info or maybe your can hire a few hours a day helper so you can get some rest.
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Good Idea and Yes, the Locksmith will do that for you.
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I don't know the locking answers or what else to do but I am wondering why this man is at home living with you and impacting your life so much? Why don't you place him? It would be safer for him and better for you. Please consider it.
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Frances73 Sep 2021
If she can’t afford a subscription to a medical alert how will she pay for a Memory Care facility? Don’t say Medicaid because most don’t accept that.
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Many great ideas. Hope you can find a successful solution. I wanted to add that i had a med alert necklace that DH would wear. EMS had to come one time-- they never looked at it. Fortunately, situation was such that I was there to give info. Now ,I have a card in his wallet with a tab that sticks out above his ID (no license anymore). ICE written on tab. He always wants his wallet with him. Card states situation and number(s) to call. I have one in my wallet, same format, explaining his situation also, in case I am impaired and he is with me. "...Has dementia, never leave alone... number(s) to call".
Praying for you. Your husband is blessed to have you.
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Memory12345 Oct 2021
I made up a similar card, but ran afoul of dementia patients' love of fiddling with their belongings. I found the card inside a glasses case. He had taken it out of his wallet and put it there - who knows why? Not him!
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If you can afford it get a Security System. We use VIVINT & it works great. 👍
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I didn’t read all the answers so this may be a repeat. Changing to have the door locked only by key from the inside is illegal in most areas for a good reason. If you should pass out or away and the house catches fire you have just condemned him to be burned alive. I have had the same problem that you have with my wife. I installed cheap battery operated burglar alarms (from Amazon) on the doors to wake me when she is roaming. It usually scares the heck out of her and she doesn’t go out. Anyway it wakes me so I can take care of the situation.
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I put our stepladder in front of the door. Now my husband cannot see the knob or latch and doesn't know the door is there.
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I also use a child proof safety latch on the door knob, and have a child safety gate that swings open on my walk way. Its basically another layer of protection that he would have to open. Door chime(could be a bell), child proof safety knob, squeaky door, and a child safety gate.(amazon for the knob) target for the gate
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you could have a chime go off every time the door opens. I have a chime and a very squeaky security door that I refuse to oil.
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I'm only caregiver for my 96-year-old Mother with dementia also had issues with her going out the front door in the middle of the night while I slept. Get a double key deadbolt and put it on the front and back doors it worked perfectly. They are not difficult to put on only takes a few minutes. May God's Blessings surround you and give you the strength and wisdom you need.
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The childproof plastic doorknob covers worked great for my husband that had dementia. I even put them on bedroom doors inside the house so he wouldn’t go in rooms and hurt himself while I was busy cleaning or cooking and didn’t have my eyes on him 100 percent. Also, they make plastic electric stovetop covers that fit over the stovetop controls. Those came in handy because he would sometimes turn all the controls on when I was busy .
my thoughts and prayers go out to you. It is an extremely difficult and heartbreaking job caring for your loved one with dementia.
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MyGranny7 Sep 2021
Thanks for your input about the childproof door knob covers I never thought of that. I have an alarm for her bed so when she does get out of bed I'm notified this is another great tool may God blessings be with everyone that our caregivers especially family suffering with dementia or Alzheimer's very devastating to watch your loved ones disappear in their minds. But again it is a privilege for me to be able to take care of my Mom she is 96 and what a blessing to me she is.
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