I have read that many times people with dementia get urinary incontinence. My mother also has prolapse, (fallen bladder). Any suggestions?

My FIL, a gynocologist, always suggested pessaries for older ladies. He did not like the surgery for anyone over 60 because the anesthesia made their brains fuzzy for too long. The new Poise Impressa is a temporary pessary that's like a tampon which presses on the anatomy to prevent leakage. The pessary holds up the bladder more, something like the ring of a diaphram.

The problem with a collapsed bladder is it does void completely leading to UTIs. I used to tell Mom to push more but she didn't understand what I was saying.

Incontinence is when the muscle that helps you "hold it" no longer is doing its job. With Dementia, it could be the brain forgetting how to "hold it". There is a procedure to lift the bladder in a sling type thing. But there have been lawsuits against the mesh they were using. Seems they are still using it. Aunt had procedure last year and had problems afterwards.

People without dementia get incontinence too. It can simply be the result of having babies close together as well as lack of exercise, or just the short distance to the outside. I'm in my 80s and I have it. 4 kids in 6 years when young. I presently use Poise Imprezza, a vaginal suppository to support the bladder, but will look into surgery soon as I don't like wearing it.

I am 71 and have prolapsed bladder. I had two babies when young, but have always exercised. I had kidney disease when a child, and perhaps the surgery is the reason I have this now. I read in my mom's medical history that she had the surgery at age 65. She is the only woman in her assisted living home who does not wear depends. I use the pissary (I think that's what it's called) when at work but also hate having it in. I do exercises given by a physical therapist that help to a certain extent. I am also wondering about having the surgery and would like to know if there are problems with having it, like infections, as I get infections easily. I can handle it now, but thinking about in the future if I will be able to take care of this issue on my own.

Hi Familyfour,

My recently deceased Mom (September 2019) definitely had incontinence for a while, but my sister was so good staying with her for years even taking her to the restroom until she needed commode and then commode on demand. If Mom had an "accident", my sister cleaned it all up on multiple occasions. I feel so stupid that I didn't realize a few years ago that Mom had issues and now know what a saint my sister was and is. Mom absolutely refused to wear anything except her baggie panties and a Poise pad which really didn't work for quite some time. I bought the other options but Mom donated them to charity.

Over one year ago, Mom had another fall that really scared her about falling again and things went even more downhill. My sister started having to lift Mom up and down and off commode and unfortunately, when I tried to give her breaks, I was not able to do that so tension ensued. I even purchased a much more user friendly commode for Mom but she didn't like it as I was expecting her to try to help me get her up as opposed to lifting her up.

One night at 1 pm, everything came to a head last September, right before Mom's 89th birthday. She had fallen before I got there but I suspected the damage was a black and blue big toe, but she took it much worse. She didn't want to go to ER so my sister and I appeased her trying to help which I thought was fine as really no injury. But she wouldn't see to reason at 1 pm about the potty issue and hadn't gone although on commode. My special needs daughter, who had gone through her own behavior issues was with me as her dad was gone at a business event, started to show her own fatigue and since in 28 years of her life, she has never spent the night there she was only letting me know it was time for sleep. So I told Mom she should just put on a diaper for the night and go to bed. I didn't say forever, but I guess Mom took it that way. She couldn't get to the commode or on her own toilet the next morning for my sister who for years has lived with her. In hindsight, I wonder if she did have a UTI. After her 89th birthday two days later, we got her to agree to go get checked out at the hospital, but that cycled things even worse. In ER, the doc that night showed us the x rays that nothing was broken like I suspected, but she did have a bruised big toe like I thought. Something must have happened staying in the ER that night after we left. Mom worsened as maybe resisted them and then hospital said she had a dislocated shoulder. She was discharged the next day and came home to be with my sister in home hospice. She was not able to walk so in hospital bed at home with diaper on. Hired in home help for first time that we finally insisted upon although all the way along Mom totally resisted really could not help us at all as she resisted them in wearing a diaper also. Things went from bad to worse and Mom was in heaven shortly. It s all so sad to think about in hindsight which I do daily.

Maybe it would have been better if Mom would have been taught much earlier that she really needed to wear something like Depends to help make life so much easier. But Mom did not want to be an "invalid" she told me. She resisted anything that changed her home and wanted everything to be just like it always was. She was an awesome Mom and I still love her dearly although she is in heaven and I cannot tell her that now. But oh how I wished we would have all talked about and found a way to make it easier for Mom once she had potty problems so it did not impact her last years of life like it did. I would just love to give her a big hug daily now but cannot unfortunately.

Thanks for listening and comments anyone gives me are greatly appreciated.

How I wish Mom were back and I could have lifted her like she wanted. But I know that would not have been the solution. It is just sad that I wouldn't have realized earlier that Mom was having such serious issues. Maybe it would have been so much be

I would never consider putting my Mom through any type of surgery that required anesthesia unless it was an emergency or life-saving. Just seeing how she reacted after her hip surgery, pulling out her IV and her drains and hallucinating, I would not put her through that again. Plus, her dementia worsened after being put under.

I had the surgery just before my 67th birthday. I do not call it successful but it is an improvement.

I used to wear a diaper plus 2 pads and now it’s a diaper plus one pad lol.

I have to take a diuretic for bp and edema. Without it my ankles swell gigantic where I have to dress to cover them. The surgery didn’t stand a chance because as soon as I think it I’m going, racing to the toilet.

They give me a pill that begins with oxy— but I hate it. It dries my mouth out so bad I can’t swallow. They also told me to limit drinking water, when every other condition I have require 64oz. a day.

Go figger, I gave it a shot...

charlotte

p.s. The surgery was a piece of cake. Hardly any pain and I got well within a week.

Thanks for the comments. Mom did use a pessary until the dementia took over. There’s no way she could manage it any more so that’s why I wonder about the sling surgery at her age.