My 74 year old mother just came to live with me because of her declining health. I have been researching her symptoms and I think she may have Parkinson's/Lewy Body Dementia, as she is showing many, many of the signs. I'd like to talk to her about this and get her to her doctor, but I'm not sure how to bring it up? I am very concerned, but I don't want to scare her either. Suggestions?
My brother was diagnosed with probable early Lewy's Dementia solely by his symptoms. He was willing to discuss it. In fact he talked to me about his hallucinations at nighttime, asking what could cause them. Does your Mom mention hallucinations to you. What other symptoms does she have. I am willing to discuss my brother's specifics but usually have my private messaging closed. It is open today; if you can PM me before midnight I will be happy to elaborate. She may be more willing to discuss this with you than you think. My brother said, before is death, he was glad to know what was happening in his brain, why he was having episodes and the ways in which he was seeing the world differently. Not glad to know what would be the long slow slide were he to continue, but glad to know. Do know that Lewy's of all the dementias can present as better and worse, like a stock market chart, whereas other dementias are more solidly progressive downward.
Meanwhile, be certain to get all paperwork, wills, POA done now while Mom is able to agree and understand what she is doing. My brother made me Trustee of his trust and his POA so I could function for him as he failed more.
I bet that she has been covering up for years.
No important discussion is easy. Just like the one she had with you about sex. Ya just gotta take the dive and go for it.
Good possibility that while she may be defensive, argue that it's not true, I bet deep down she might be relieved that she does not have to cover for herself
What is important is that she realizes that there are decisions that she can make now that will make things so much easier for her and you and the rest of the family in the months, years to come.
End of the year.
New location, maybe a new doctor. Time to get a complete physical. That is maybe the best way to start.
Do not even attempt talking about any condition you think she might have. First you might be wrong, second, she will become angry with you breaking off communication and working with her in future. It will cause her to be uncooperative with you and/or Doctor. Or she might refuse to go to a Doctor appointment or even let you go in with her.
I would calmly suggest it might be a good idea you go in with her for her upcoming Doctor visit, so you can ask and understand anything you should know in order to best know what is best for her, now and in the future. No mention to her about what you think she might have.
When my husband was first showing signs of Alzheimers forgetfulness, for some unknown reason I felt he had to admit he had a problem. Now that was not too smart on my part. If angered him and frustrated me. No win! When I stopped, it calmed things way down and I found him to be quite cooperative.
I now keep things going as if all is normal, including him, when it is by no means normal. But it helps keep things calm.
The drs do appreciate the heads up of the notes.
The other thing is that she may not have much self awareness of the illness. Or at least my mother didn't. It was not easy to get her to agree to an assessment.
Delusions and hallucinations are common. We found it hard to get a diagnosis until it was clear that my mother was having these. After an episode of delirium the diagnosis of LBD was made in hospital.
Good luck with everything. x
I wish I knew more about the potential drug interactions, but trusted her Doctors with the decisions that were made.
Now that I am helping her with her healthcare and working with her doctor, she has agreed to go. Hopefully, they can determine what type of dementia she has, so we can have a better understanding of what she is facing. I'm also curious to see where she's at with the disease. I know there isn't an exact way to determine this, but she is definitely not in the early stages. She has been having problems for many, many years.
It's stressful for all involved, but I'm glad that I can help her. Before she came to live with me, she was in denial about many things and hid a lot of things from her spouse, family, doctors and even herself. I do see her letting go of the denial a little bit at a time and accepting her situation. Maybe it's because she can't cover things up with me and make excuses anymore now that she lives in the room next to me? Maybe it's because she has my help with her healthcare and I know everything the doctors are saying? I'm just glad that things are changing for her and moving forward despite her diagnosis.
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