My mom was taken to the hospital this evening with shortness of breath. Chest X-ray showed a Pleural Effusion and EKG showed an Atrial Fibrillation.
She is 96 and was previously diagnosed with a narrowing aortic valve which they can't repair do to her age. Her doctor has noticed what he called age related dementia, but I haven't been able to get her to a neurologist for a proper diagnosis. The nurse didn't know how long they will keep her in the hospital. I feel she needs to be in some sort of LTC/SNF whatever Medicaid pays for as I don't feel comfortable taking her back home. My mom is demanding that I take her back home, but she was admitted at least for overnight.
She owns the house and I've been staying with her for the past year. Is there a way I can refuse to take her home and continue to care for her? I feel awful for saying it, but I'm happy they kept her in the hospital so I can get a break.
A couple years ago when she fell, they did an x-ray, kept her overnight for observation then released her the next day. When she was unable to walk back in October, the doctor prescribed her an antibiotic and sent her home.
This is now the first time in several years that she's been in the hospital overnight.
Tell them you will not take her home unless testing indicates she can safely manage on her own.
Speak to the social worker where she is hospitalized and explain that you cannot continue to be her caregiver. Do you hold her POA? If so, how soon can you sell the house? Do you have your own residence available?
Say No, say NO, say NO.
My dad insisted on caring for her at home and never would have considered putting her into LTC, but in reality, within about two exhausting years, she probably should have been placed. I stayed with them and helped the first month, as there was no way my dad could have done it alone. She eventually got off the oxygen, but nothing else improved. The pleural effusion continued, too, and she had to be drained three more times over the next eight months.
I can't see doing this alone for a 96-year-old.
Don't bring her home.
Repeat it to yourself, then to them.
You’ll be both saving yourself, then your Mom.
Ask for the hospital SW, then repeat it to that person.
If your Mom is diagnosed with dementia but deemed well enough to return home, what are your reasons for not wanting her to do so? If you feel you cannot care for your Mother then you may need to make that clear to the Social Worker or Case Manager involved, and ask for a clear diagnosis and placement for her. You may need to see an elder care attorney to discuss what you have in place or what you can put in place to get her assistance with bill paying and etc.
If you can get her into a facility for STR , traditional medicare will pay for the first 20 days provided she is participating in rehab and progressing. If she is in a facility for skilled nursing, traditional Medicare will pay for the first 20 days that she continues to need skilled nursing. After 20 days traditional Medicare will pay 80% of continued needs up to 100 days. The remaining 20% is paid our of your Mom's private funds or her supplemental insurance if she has that. Medicare Advantage plans have different guidelines so you would have to check that policy. Medicare (and Medicare Advantage) is a health insurance and will not pay for long term care (LTC). Medicaid is the insurance that pays for long term care and you or your Mom will have to apply for that. Medicaid is different in each state but generally you have to spend down assets to about $2000. This usually includes the sale of Mom's biggest asset, her house, to pay for her care in a facility.
Once you get the hospital to get her to a facility, I suggest you quickly find a certified elder care attorney who specializes in Medicaid to give you specific guidance.
Good luck!!