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My 83 year old mom is healthy and active, she has no chronic illnesses.
My concern is, she is only concerned/obsessed with food, she overeats to the point where she takes to her bed for a few days to recover, she checks the time between meals. She is now eating every hour, between meals she snacks on, tea, coffee, fruit, biscuits, chocolates, cakes, ice-cream and whatever else is available.
She repeatedly claims she eats very little, she repeatedly claims she cannot eat sweet things, even while she is eating it. It does seem as if she is unaware of this, because she often asks out loud if she can be hungry.
We have to prepare and plan a menu otherwise she becomes very anxious about the next meal. All efforts to bring some awareness have failed, it is very distressing to see this. How do we manage?

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hugs!

dementia can do that. — but also some medicines. also boredom. one would have to analyze the specific case.

my LO went through that (extreme appetite).

we locked the kitchen and left a basket of fruits to snack on.

the phase lasted about 3 months, then the appetite returned to a normal level.

i hope your mother improves!!
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Bella1960 Oct 2021
Thank you very much, my siblings and I do believe it is the onset of dementia, we do put out healthy snacks between meals, but she is still able to do her own shopping and buys sweet snacks which she hides from us.
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Take away the biscuits, sweets, processed food. Give her almonds, fruit and wholegrain. Yeast and sugar in foods create an addiction that is hard to break. That includes bread, chocolate, pasta. She can eat unlimited vegetables, buckwheat flour (great and easy pancakes), chickpea flour (also great crepes), eggs, yoghurt and olive oil. Condiments are miso, tahini, chilli oil, spices, sesame oil etc. Nuts are great to snack on. Lemon squeezed on everything.
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Bella1960 Oct 2021
Thank you for your response, it is much appreciated
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Diabetic?
Thyroid problems?
I'd seek medical advice.
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Rick10 Oct 2021
Very true. I had a friend years ago that was putting on weight and after thyroid meds lost the poundage in the process of treatment.
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Time for a good physical. Labs. She could be missing something like iron or a certain vitamin.
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If she is actually checking the time between meals and comprehends the time span between the meals I would doubt it is dementia.
With dementia and over eating or under eating is that the person does not recall when they ate or thinks they have already eaten.
I would take her for a full check up. Make sure the doctor is aware of this and for how long it has been going on. (I would be sure to mention that there have been times when "she has consumed so much she has to take to her bed for a few days to recover")
If everything seems to be fine I would discuss with the doctor about prescribing antianxiety medication.
In the mean time lock up all the sweets, cakes, candy, ice cream, cake... Let her have the fruits in moderation, tea and coffee should not be a problem unless she is heavy handed with sugar.
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Bella1960 Oct 2021
Thank you for your answer, it is very helpful having the perspectives of others who have dealt with the same situation
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If she claims she eats very little but is eating continually and saying that she can't eat sweet things while eating a chocolate bar, then she has dementia.
Food obsession and anxiousness over when he next meal is coming minutes after finishing the last one is a very common form of OCD associated with some forms of dementia. It's not the same thing as a bored elderly person who has nothing to do except wait for the next meal. It's a type of OCD. I've seen the kind of food obsession you're describing with many different care clients who have been on my service over the years.
Talk to your mom's doctor. Explain the food obsession. The doctor can prescribe her medication to help with the OCD behavior too.
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Bella1960 Oct 2021
Thank you for your answer, my mom has social anxiety with OCD (undiagnosed)
I will try and see if she will consent to seeing a doctor, I have strong doubts.
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I think you can help put this situation in perspective by considering that she's munching on " chocolates, cakes, ice-cream and whatever else is available."   That concentration of high sugar foods doesn't satisfy the body's need to nutrition, so she probably still feels hungry.   Chocolate and sugary foods can create a certain kind of "high" though,  a kind of temporary satisfaction.

I would as already suggested eliminate the sugary foods and substitute good, nutritional foods.    To Findel's list I would add carrots, celery, and fruits of the season (lower sugary ones if possible).   

The overeating and ensuing needed bed rest is alarming.  I think I would have one of her doctors check her for diabetes; that much sugar upsets the body.

If you have to, use the Indiana Jones approach:   remove the sugary foods but substitute them with something she can nibble on that's more healthy.   Protein foods could work.   I've always loved to nibble on turkey and chicken.

I think the lack of food satisfaction is contributing to the food and meal anxiety.
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Bella1960 Oct 2021
Thank you
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Sounds like dementia !!!
’if it quacks like a duck ….
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The same with my husband. He has gained 40 pounds in3 months and I’m buying as healthy foods as I can and I actually HIDE food and snacks to dole out slowly. I try to keep him moving. All of his clothes are too tight now. The neurologist said that part of the brain is “ broken” and he doesn’t feel satiated. He has Alzheimer’s/ vascular and is declining quickly. I as a nurse, know that at some point he will not be able to eat or swallow so honestly I’ll let him eat
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This is something that a family GP can determine to be "cognitive impairment" and schedule for an evaluation as the first step. On the next visit, consult alone with the doctor first on the eating disorder. But it certainly sounds like dementia which can result in overeating or even not eating enough. By the way, it is my understanding that a family doctor will not determine dementia as it requires evaluation and testing by specialists, including psychiatrists. This is the process I had to go through with my sister whose caregiver was a son who did nothing for her except spend every cent of her savings and monthly retirement and charged thousands on her credit cards. He pasted away suddenly at age 40 with a massive heart attack after years of drug use. Thats when I came into the picture and my sister is now in assisted living in a memory wing. She had a ten day mental evaluation and was diagnosed with moderate dementia.
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My mother went through a hoarding-of-food situation the last few years of her life. She lived for food and made elaborate food lists for me to get her specific items. If I didn’t move fast enough, she would put pressure on me. She planned each meal and couldn’t wait to eat it. (She didn’t cook the meals, but would heat them up in a microwave). This may not be exactly what you’re seeing with your mom, but the “food thing” going on is a sure sign that reality is no longer present, because she is denying things, and that addiction is taking over. Denial is one of the signs. It is overwhelming having to deal with this if this is the case. To have to ignore the pink elephant in the room to address other serious situations is hard to do, and your mom’s anxiety over food will lead to more stress for her and for you. My mother just couldn’t control the “food thing” and I had to dance around it like it wasn’t even happening. We did mention it to her PCP, but she refused taking any medication for her anxiety. I would say my mother had some cognitive decline towards the end of her life when this all started. We just never got her formerly tested as she had so many others things going on, and she wouldn’t take meds for it anyway. I took care of her for 10 yrs. She lived to be 95 yrs old.
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It could be a symptom of dementia. However it could also be a symptom of depression, which could also accompany dementia. I would get her to the Dr for a cognitive test and see what the Dr says. Be honest with the Dr about what she's doing. Good luck to you.
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My mother does something similar; she claims she doesn’t eat very much or very often but is constantly eating junk food, and goes through a bag of candy a day or chips. She would give me a list of groceries and the candy list was longer than the actual groceries she needed. It became rather frustrating for me when she would fill up on junk and refuse to eat the meals I was cooking her. Taking them away just seemed to have her hunt for more things in the pantry and end up binge/over eating on whatever she could find yet still avoiding the meals (healthy) that were prepared for her.
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Beatty Oct 2021
Sounds like a teen aged boy I know 😔
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Hi, my mom is 85 n does this kind of eating with meat n sweets. Sometimes she doesn’t want to eat n other times she eats constantly. Just like sometimes she seems lucid n other times so confused, paranoid, angry n myriad of negative feelings. As to changing her diet to much more healthy like some have said, I tried this with my mom but she would have none of that!
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You don't mention if your mother is showing early signs of dementia. My mother with dementia went through a phase like this when she had earlier stages of dementia. She put on a lot of weight, and then later lost it when that phase was passed and she had to switch to soft foods. Can you not have things around that your mother shouldn't be eating? Is she still doing her own shopping and cooking and taking food for herself or does someone have to get the food for her? If there are signs of dementia, you need to make sure all of her paperwork is in order and someone can take over for her if her judgment becomes impaired. This should be done as soon as possible, while her mind is still good and she can still sign legal papers. She needs Powers of Attorney to be set up for medical and financial matters, a living will with her medical directives, a will if she has assets. Be sure you or her POA is on file with Social Security and Medicare as someone who can speak on her behalf. Most financial insitutions (banks, credit card companies, etc.) also require their own POA forms. Regarding her anxieties, speak with her doctor about what you are observing. There are natural calming medications she could take like Melatonin.
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Bella1960: Imho, she needs to be seen very soon by her primary care physician AND her specialists. Having to retire to her bed after eating should be quite concerning. Also, how on earth can her body process that much food products in a 24-hour period? Something is majorly amiss.
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If she can't remember when she ate last and keeps eating, then she definitely has advancing dementia and should have more care. In the meantime, I would keep the food away from her and locked up if she keeps eating and eating. I think you're going to have to get in home help to come out several times a week to give yourself a break or as a last resort, put her in a care facility.
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We planned healthy snacks, but of course his favorite was 'snack pack pudding',,,, which is fine.
As long as there was some cheeses, fruits and other snacks, I could have cared a less how much they ate. As long as they weren't choking via 'overeating' .....
The Silent Generation are typically the ones who went to bed without to begin with. I certainly didn't want any of that part coming back to them in the memories they did have left.
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It could be an expression of anxiety, maybe accompanying a cognitive decline, but maybe not. She could be anxious over getting old or money or ? I once had a neighbor who was a WWII POW who literally had an entire room as a "pantry", stocked with canned meats, vegetables, fruits, soups, pie fillings, and anything else you can imagine that was ever put in a can. He was raised on a successful farm and never knew what it was to be hungry until he was a POW for 2 years but those years left an imprint. When he came home he started his pantry and kept at least a year's food in there. He was otherwise "normal"; married for over 60 years, raised a family, and kept the farm going into his 80s. But he had to have his pantry till the day he died.

Is it possible your mother experienced hunger as a child or young person? If so, she might express anxiety as a fixation on food. My own father, who was neglected as a child, was fixated on food in his life. He didn't like leftovers, even the delicious ones like my mother's spaghetti or chicken chow mein (his mother brought home leftovers from her job as a school cook). He had to make a "snack" several times a day (a little ice cream, a little peanut butter, and some banana were a favorite). This was so important to him, I choose his MC facility based on whether they would be open to creating his snacks on his weird schedule.
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TNtechie, excellent insight into how inadequate food supplies at an early age can affect eating and what some consider obsessions with food at a later age.  I recall my mother and father sharing insights into the sacrifices they had to make during the depression (and WWII),  how Mom studied by candlelight, when they had no coal for heat, and how Dad and his family used heat bricks in the bed as they had no central heating.    (I still haven't figured out how bricks could be used w/o creating a fire hazard, but they were so practical during those days that I'm sure they figured out something.

My grandmother also scrimped and saved, but from a different background and experience, the experience of fleeing the Turkish Massacres.
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TNtechie Oct 2021
FYI: bricks are laid on the hearth or top of stove to get warm/hot then wrapped in toweling and placed between the sheets as tootsie toasters or in the footwell of sleighs and wagons/carriages. The wrap fabrics would scorch occasionally but I never heard about it ever causing a fire. When I was a child, there were still older people lived in homes with only electrical lighting & still used fireplaces and wood burning stoves for their heating and cooking, and warmed their beds with bricks in the winter. One of my grandmother's sisters used the bricks claiming it was better than an electric blanket.
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Bella,
Your Mom cannot eat what is not supplied in the home.

Try snack cups of applesauce in between meals.

Have her drink more water.
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I’m sorry. I don’t think this is that uncommon. Look at the number of obese people in the US. And people often nap after eating large meals. Thanksgiving? Not everyone who naps has had turkey.

Stress, the thyroid, ghrelin and leptin disorders could all be at play here.
If you think about it, it’s really a form of ageism to decide that Bella’s mom has dementia.
She has been described as a sugar addict and it has hijacked her gut and brain is my hunch. When someone is an addict, they don’t easily give up that which they are addicted to. If she were 35 we wouldn’t consider dementia. Many don’t admit to themselves that they are addicted to shopping, gambling, working, eating, the computer etc.
I know that there is a certain ice cream that once it finds its way into my home will be whispering to me until it is all gone.
Those healthy snacks hold no allure for a sugar addict until they are detoxed. If you give her a little sugar in the form of a bowl of pasta, a slice of bread, a bowl of fruit, it is almost cruel as it keeps the addiction going.
It brings to mind the alcoholic saying “one drink is too many and a thousand is never enough”.
I think your mom is addicted and not necessarily demented.
Ask her doctor if Wellbutrin would help. It’s an antidepressant that is used to help folks quit smoking and to lose weight. It helps with compulsions. My 95 yr old takes it for depression.
The healthiest thing I ever did to break a sugar addiction was the 10 day detox by Dr Hyman author of the Blood Sugar Solution. My husband is diabetic and a foodie. He asked me to read it for him years ago after seeing him on PBS. No surprise, he didn’t want to follow Dr Hymans guidelines but when I did the 10 day detox, I no longer craved starch or sweets after the 3rd day. Your mom may need a little help letting go of the sugar. Once she has it out of her system and given her body a chance to recover she may be able to have sweets again in moderation, but at this stage no amount will ever satisfy her.
If you can video her eating and sleeping it off and show it to her, it might help her see for herself what she is doing. Videos are wonderful teaching tools for us to see ourselves and are much harder to ignore than someone telling us what we are doing wrong.
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