This is probably a weird ask but does such a service exist and would insurance cover it? I've been doing research but not a many concrete answers are coming up for me. And I'm not talking about a private home care nurse or even a nurse who comes for a number of hours during the week. We've spoken to a case worker and were granted eight hours per week, however it's companionship care only and that's beyond what we need.
See every few months or so, my FIL (82), who lives with us, becomes ill (vomiting, diarrhea, unable to get up or move) due to his nervous stomach. It's been a lifelong issue for him and anything stressful will trigger it. He's had numerous tests done and there's nothing physically wrong with his stomach, he just has some psychological issues, and any little bit of stress or things he makes up to stress himself out makes him physically ill. In the past, it was strictly vomiting for a couple of days and he'd be up and back to normal but last November, he took a nasty fall and hit his head on the window and now has trouble walking (he now has to use a walker) and ever since then, when he gets sick it's worse than before. He can't get up, can't clean himself, suffers from incontinence, etc. It happens maybe once every four to six months, so not really often enough to need round the clock care.
When he gets over his sickness, he's fine or as fine as he can be, I suppose. He's able to use his walker and go to the bathroom, he can clean himself up, make himself food... He needs help getting into the shower but that's really it. Basically, he's able to do most things on his own except when he's having one of his sick episodes. Then he's completely incapacitated.
So what I'm asking is if there's a type of on call service during those times that can help him, clean him up, help get him through it instead of having to send him to the ER, send him to AL or a nursing home? My husband has been doing all of this care for him but it's starting to take its toll on him physically, and he doesn't want to send him away because it doesn't happen often enough, so I thought maybe something like an on call service (if it exists) would be the easier option.
Sorry if this is a silly ask! Any advice or suggestions would be most appreciated.
That said, you’ve spoken about the smell emanating into the kids bedroom from him. Which suggests this is more than “dad has a whoopsie every six months.” If they’re living next to a room that constantly wafts of fresh diarrhea and vomit, then it’s an issue to be handled right now.
Has he been diagnosed with a medical condition?
Is this food allergies/intolerance?
UTI? Constipation?
In order to have an RN (or CNA) attend I would expect your FIL would need to 'on their books'. Eg A full needs assessment already done & his medical conditions noted.
Most agencies I have delt with require minimum weekly hours to 'stay on their books' as a client. For regular services.
But this is different. It is an ACUTE illness, that is reaccuring.
You could locate local Care Agencies, call & ask??
There may be a 24/7 medical advice line for advice? Or 24/7 pharmacies/drug stores for over the counter treatments?
But regarding cleanup;
If I vomit or have diarrhoea in my home - I am independant, so I clean it up myself.
FIL resides in your home, right?
He is not fully independant - is dependant on you for care.
Therefore, dealing with any mess made by his illness will fall on you. I'm sorry. I cannot think of anything else regarding clean ups.
But I would have him assessed next time it happens to continue to look for a reason.
It sounds like he has already been assessed for in-home services from the county. The next step would be to have him apply for Medicaid. But even if he qualifies, he still won't get enough hours from an aid, and no one "on call".
Your FIL is eventually going to need more and more care and your husband and family will become more and more impacted and burned out by his needs and health issues. If FIL gets SS can he not afford to privately pay for an aid to come in to help him (aside from medical treatment)? You and your kids should be your husband's #1 priority. This doesn't mean he doesn't love his Father but avoiding and delaying the inevitable will only cause a giant train wreck when SFIL's cognitive and physical issues become overwhelming and then you'll be making decisions in a full-on crisis with fewer options because his son didn't act sooner.
Is SFIL on meds for his "nervous stomach"? If not, why not? There are many meds to treat anxiety/agitation/depression. Many seniors need to take them as their brains break from cognitive decline. There are solutions for SFIL's situation... his son just needs to accept them.
No RN would take on the liability of deciding what is making your loved one this ill. Not for a second. She would lose her license for moving from treatment as ordered to being a diagnostician. Much as your history with all this tells you that this isn't "serious" it certainly SEEMS so when it hits, and more than a few docs have taken it seriously enough to run the whole battery of tests. Because they were negative in the past doesn't guarantee they are so now. So a nurse cannot risk her license on "playing doctor".
Sadly, you are down to emergency room visits only.
I am very sorry, but you will be calling EMS now every time he is ill enough to require that you do so.
You should speak with doctor about possible placement, palliative or hospice care, and this will somewhat lighten the load. I am very sorry.
(But you kind of need to be filthy rich to afford them)