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I informed my parents who are the hospital they would be moving to facilities. My dad who has Dementia will be going to memory care. My mother who has COPD and has been bed ridden for several years to a nursing home. They are very angry at me so my time was short with them. I need a respite from this for a few days. It is bad to take that time while they settle into their new places.

Nobody wants to need to do this, but it's for them -- their health and safety. Wishing you peace in your own heart about making this difficult but necessary decision.
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Glockhart Nov 6, 2025
Thank you so much for your reply
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It must be so difficult to comprehend the anger your parents are expressing, especially when you have arranged the care that they require at this time in their lives. You have done the right thing.

I have learned with my own parents and their dementia, that their anger is part of the process of absorbing the news and the change. And that you will likely get most of their anger, unfortunately. It's not specifically you they are mad at--they are mad at getting old, dementia, COPD, their health in general, and that they are different than they used to be.

They will get used to the idea eventually. Give it time. Frankly it may be easier on both you and your parents to be away even while they settle in.

I promise you that you are doing the right thing by giving them 24 hours of the care that they need. They will be in good hands.
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Reply to DaughterofAD3
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Glockhart Nov 6, 2025
Thank you so much for the input
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Wishing you the best during this difficult time. I am so sorry they are angry and I hope they do not stay angry for a long time. I can understand you needing repite yourself. You also need time to grieve this situation. Hopefully they settle quickly and they realize you couldn't reverse their health decline and did what is best for them.
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Glockhart Nov 6, 2025
Thank you very much
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Yes, you're doing the right thing. If you have any doubts, remember that if you continued caring for them and then got sick or burned out or both -- they'd be where they're going anyway. What you just did was preemptive and not in a crisis.

Your Dad has dementia, which robs him of his abiity to use reason and logic, and stops him from being able to have empathy for others (like you). Your Mom... the odds are she will get over her anger. Make sure you have your boundaries clearly identified with them and defend them confidently.

Kudos to you, and wishing you peace in your heart.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Take the time you need and don't hover over them as they resettle! Congratulations on this big step, and I wish all of you well as they adjust to this new reality. And it IS reality! You couldn't go on as it was, and they will be much better off with teams of caregivers to look after them.
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Reply to Fawnby
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It's perfectly normal to take time for yourself to process this major life change. Give yourself a break, especially if you have been doing the hands on caregiving.
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