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My Mom needs to walk around but she is so unsteady that if I look away for 5 seconds she falls. I keep straining my back and neck trying to keep her from falling. Just venting I guess. Have to get more help in here.

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Why are people waiting so long to get outside help. If you know you can not do it all yourselves, then get help.There is so much help out there. And If you can not pay out of your own pocket or parents do not have the means to pay. That is what we have medicare and medicaid for. No one is failing their parents if they come to realize that caring for the elderly is a full time job. And if you are still working and have family of your own there is just so much you can do. The best care for our parents is what we need to focus on. Nursing homes are so different then they were 20 and 30 years ago. There are so many great people who have made a career of caring for the elderly. They have been trained and know so much more then we could ever do for our loved ones. I have seen some of the most wonderful people in these nursing homes. For every elderly person, there are 10 people asigned to them each day. And we the children think we can do it all ourselves. Lets wake up and smell the coffee. It is so sad to read how the children of these poor elderly people are thinking toward their parents.
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When I wrote the question I was stressed from a long day and yes, I was looking for support. Thanks for the supportive answers and to the others, everyone has a right to his/her opinions. Being able to discuss on this website has helped save my sanity through this caregiving process.
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CINDY:

You know what? I've been asking myself the same question for many. For starters, caregiving catches us unprepared most of the time. Most of the time don't know what resources are out there; half the time we're too tired to feel the inclination to get informed. So we do it the hard way. Often because it feeds our ego, other times because we're too embarrassed -- or don't know how yet -- to ask for help.

Add to that the time management issue. Again, we're not prepared enough; so we react to everything instead of responding properly. The patient says jump, and you don't even bother asking how high. You just do it. Harebrained, isn't it?

In the beginning, what most of us fail to realize is that the most important tool at our disposal is staring right at us: the Internet. Instead of researching everything we could possibly need to make our lives as caregivers better, we commiserate, vociferate, b___ch, and vent. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with letting it all hang out. Actually, it's quite therapeutic. But there's a lot going on in the Caregiving Community that we don't -- and should -- know about. Being well-informed is half the battle, but unfortunately we're stretched in so many ways that we learn as we go along. Every now and then we make mistakes, and don't even know how to correct them because we're not informed enough.

That's why I'm constantly letting my fingers do the walking, and the sweating.

-- ED
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Assess her physical limitations. Has she lost her strength in her legs, is her vision declining resulting in her unsteadiness, is she losing her balance? She may need to begin using a cane or walker for stability. My parents, ages 85 and 87, depend on canes and walkers both in the home (where many falls occur) and outside the home. Mom has a cute basket attacted to her walker so she can tote things with her either from room to room or while out in the community. The added support can increase your mom's confidence and encourage her to move about more, which is key as they age: Keep them moving (always placing safety first)!
Do a safety check in the home. Are there rugs that can catch her feet and result in a fall? Are her shoes or slippers causing her to trip? Are there uneven walking surfaces?
It may sound strange to say, but the approach to caring for our aging and elderly parents is much like what they did for us when we were young: anitcipate their next developmental stage and plan ahead. I see that my Dad may not have sufficient vision in the coming months to safely continue driving. In anticipation of that I have contacted a local agency to inquire about transportation services that will enable him to continue to accomplish daily ilving activities such as going to the grocery store or post office. Don't wait until a crisis occurs, anticipate and plan ahead!
I have found that my parents, who still are able to live independently in their own home, are somewhat resistant to my suggestions for them as they see it as a sign that they are losing some of their abilities to do things for themselves. I have found it to be very successful if I tell tham that I am 100% in favor of their remaining in their own home, and these measures I suggest are all aimed at doing that. I live in California and they live in Nevada, so I tell them that when they accept these services and accomodations around the house, it helps me because if anything happens to them, I am 4 hours away. The have been very responsive looking at it from this perspective.
Good luck and remain patient and loving as it is an honor to assist out parents through this life stage.
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"Just venting I guess. Have to get more help in here."

Sounds as if you were already answering your own question and thus were seeking support more than so much advice? I wish you well in resolving this challenges as you make various choices.
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SSKAPE:

Four options:
(1) A home attendant (oops!! "Home Health Aide")
(2) Put her in assisted living
(2) A wheelchair
(3) To build up strength and muscle mass and prevent injuries, sign up at a local gym.

-- ED
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What is the reason that your Mom is having trouble walking? I had this same issue for about 2 weeks after my Mom broke her hip and needed surgery. Also we have what is called a wheelie walker it has 4 wheels and a seat to sit on when my Mom is feeling that she is getting weak. I know that caring for our elderly parents is very trying and new obstacles crop up everyday. Best of Luck to you and your Mom and know we are always here when you need us.
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Some of the above comments were very harsh, although very true. I don't know how long you have been caring for your Mom, but it took me over a year to realize how many resources are available out there. I am still finding new avenues. The best place to start is with your local Office on Aging and go from there. I actually sat down with an attorney yesterday that specializes in Elder Law and he was a fountain of information. I really wish I would have started out with him. Not only did he give me valuable information about my parents finances, but he knew what help was available in my area and how to get it.
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I'm sorry I expressed my concerns here. The insensitive answers were inappropriate.
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There are so many possibilities behind her falling. Has she had bloodwork done recently? Extremely high potassium could contribut to falls. Vertigo. Weakness in her legs. Side effects of medication or mixes of medications. All kinds of things. Will she use a walker or at least a cane? My mom kept falling and Home Health Care Physical Therapy got her up moving around and strengthening her legs. Now she's doing well.
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