Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
How do I ever stop crying. Before you say anything, there is no help to be found; not even a group. I am on my own, an only child and not from this part of the country.
I think that you answered your own question. If you are an only child, have no support system or programs in your area, and are new to the area, you have made the best choice for your mother. It is better than trying to do everything yourself and then both of you ending up ill. There is no guilt and no shame in finding your mother a safe environment where she is getting good care. Now, if you are questioning the care she is receiving, that is another issue. Try to be upbeat when you visit your Mom. Take her things that she likes. Listen to her and take her for outings if she is able. You relationship may grow in ways you never thought possible because the stress of caregiving has been relieved and now you can be the daughter again. Several years ago, when there were fewer housing options, NHs got a bad rap. With the introduction of assisted living centers and newer nursing homes that view has changed....unfortunately, our parent's preception has not. I hope that time is a good healer for you. And don't be so hard on yourself.
I agree with Lilli, my mother isn't in a nursing home yet, but when it comes to that I will try to be the high point of her day, bring her favorite Wendy's chocolate frosty or flowers from the garden. Whatever it takes to make her smile. Eventually it will be just seeing you. I'm sure there will be bad days when she'll want you to take her home, give her a hug, tell her you love her and ask her what she'd like you to bring her the next time you come. You are a lovely person for caring so much. Take care of yourself, it took a lot of strength to get this far.
I thought the worst thing I could do was to send Mom to a NH. I thought wrong, it is the best thing for her. She is much happier, she feels independent, secure, social has fun at entertainment events loves the staff. I almost am sad she dosen't need ME anymore. I don't feel guilty because I stay focused on everything that goes on as much as possible. I make sure I convey my concerns and Mom's to the staff. I tell her nurses about good days and bad and happenings when I visit this all helps in her best care. I also think the rest of my family is almost shocked that I am more than proactive about her daily needs to this day. When I visit it is always a different reaction but at this point I am just glad to see her safe and secure and basic needs are met.
If you haven't already done so, check with the facility to see if they have some sort of Family Support group. Maybe the social worker can find some area programs that may be beneficial to you. The above responders are so right, nursing homes aren't as bad as they used to be. I worked in one for several years and sure, it wasn't always perfect, but the staff would quickly respond to any family complaints. You should be commended for realizing that placement was the better option over trying to care for someone 24/7 and still trying to lead your life. Sometimes, that isn't always the best choice for you or your parent.
beatup, you are beating yourself up over this. I'm an only child myself, plus I'm on disability as is my wife plus we have two boys in college. Given her dementia and total lack of mobility, there was no other choice than place her in the nursing home. I hope that you can find a social worker or some other trained person to help you work through your feelings, face to face. :) Keep coming back here to vent and ask questions all you want.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There is no guilt and no shame in finding your mother a safe environment where she is getting good care. Now, if you are questioning the care she is receiving, that is another issue.
Try to be upbeat when you visit your Mom. Take her things that she likes. Listen to her and take her for outings if she is able. You relationship may grow in ways you never thought possible because the stress of caregiving has been relieved and now you can be the daughter again.
Several years ago, when there were fewer housing options, NHs got a bad rap. With the introduction of assisted living centers and newer nursing homes that view has changed....unfortunately, our parent's preception has not.
I hope that time is a good healer for you. And don't be so hard on yourself.