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I just heard that my LO, unprovoked, struck (with an object) a co-resident in her Memory Care facility, which then had to report the incident to the State (California). There was an earlier incident about 6 months ago, though provoked, and I don't believe that first one was reported. If this behavior continues, does anyone have experience with what could happen next? I can ask the MC facility (a very good place --so far), but wanted to hear from others, too. I fear she could be kicked out. If that happens, where could she go with that on her record?

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Have your loved one check Ed for a UTI. When my Father would have one he would strike out and get angry. Every time.
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My mom was on hospice when she was kicked out for her agitation and striking, biting, etc. Hospice recommended a care home that had available space. That placement actually worked out much better for mom. The care was better, the caregiver ratio to resident was lower, and the cost was lower.
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psuskind1 Jul 2020
Could you explain what a care home is because this sounds like an excellent suggestion as I have a similar problem with myFIL
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sis got agitated more and more with her last community-AL. She was frustrated more with herself, i believe, memory problems etc. and took out on others, staff. She had to move from out of state to my state due to increasing problems. I was hoping my being around more would help during the transition. Yes and no. I had to take her to loads of dr. appointments due to she was not doing when she was out of state. She wanted to do the fun stuff which we did some-lunch shopping, but not as much as she would have wanted. after a few months agitation came to a boiling point and she was taking it out on staff-they would not put up with this. A couple trips to ER, Emergency 24 hour care while we were figuring out what to do, was also making sis angry. Eventually did a psych med evaluation which changed her meds and eventually after 3 weeks she was calm but made decision to move to Nursing care as we would not have known for sure if med change was going to be enough to hold off the agitation. Sis did ok at the new place but care there was awful-inspite of a reasonable reputation. She lost weight, she was unclean, food was nasty, clothes missing and damaged. it took 5 months to find a place that would take her that has now been 3 moves in a year and taken its toll on sis.

She is probably in late stages-does not talk much now. Crying resumed after the move and sis was uncontrollable for days on end. Meds have been changed again-now has a horrible rash from one or both of the new drugs that she is taking.

It was difficult when sis was out of state-she cried and cried every time on the phone and I could not do anything to help her. I think the staff there was doing okay but when I asked about what they saw or did the reply was sis is doing fine-when i knew she wasn't.

As you are talking on a long distance move you have many factors to consider along with possible exposure to covid during a road trip in the RV. Are you worried about being able to care for dad on the road, anger, wanting to escape, bathroom issues, having enough of his meds to make the trip.

Current facility says if sis needed to go to the hospital for some reason, the return to facility would involve 2 week isolation-would probably be the same for your dad moving into a new facility. I would probably move, maybe a few months from now if covid is less??? of a concern, get settled, find out what the rules would be for dad at the new community admission-isolation etc. how long. visits with family. So you know what to expect. You will probably be more comfortable with dad close by-I have had it both ways and closer is better-not necessarily easier with the problems my sister has but at least she can see me, we talk, i think she knows i care even if she cant say so.
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Care Homes?

Advantages of group home living
The lower price, higher staff-to-client ratio — for example, Florida limits its adult family care homes to five residents at most — and family-oriented setting distinguish this option. Other pluses:
• More personalized care and continuity of care is possible, unlike in larger assisted living communities. With fewer older adults, staff can more easily detect physical and emotional changes in residents.
• The staff-to-client ratio is often higher than in large assisted living complexes or skilled nursing.
• Meals are home cooked and can be customized.
• The homelike, smaller environment may be a better fit for those with dementia and could help any resident form friendships with fellow residents and staff more easily.
• The presence of other residents encourages socialization, and can lessen loneliness and enhance well-being.

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2020/group-homes.html
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My father was in LTC suddenly became violent towards staff. They had him on a waiting list to go to a geriatric psyche until for evaluation and medication adjustments. Luckily while waiting, his physician tried Tegretol which helped tremendously and he didn’t have to go to the psyche unit. Talk to her doctor.
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Dvinsant123 Aug 2020
That’s the answer for sure communication and plans in place. Most good places can deal with these problems and the teams all work together to help both residents. That’s how it should be it’s heartbreaking that some just kick them out that shows a very weak team to start with. So I’m glad and you can rest assured you are dealing with professionals in your situation.
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In my thinking the "reporting to the State" is really a record in the residents' files. One report your LO hitting the victim, a report in the victims file they were hit. Family on both sides have to be called. If the victims family finds there was an incident and they were not informed they can then call the State. That incident better be recorded in both files and showing that family was notified.

Yes, you may want to discuss with LOs doctor a med to help calm her/him.
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They can send her to psych hospital for medication adjustment..this is what SNF does when residents hit, bite, punch They are used to this behavior at nursing homes as most have dementia & get agitated & violent. My mother gets agitated & violent at times too. However, her punches are very weak now like taps ..,it’s controlled by medication. She’s been under care of neurologist for years. You can also take her to neurologist on your own. Hugs 🤗
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One of the priorities in any facility for elders is to keep everyone safe, also to make sure there is a good fit for all residents. Look into a place that knows how to redirect the resident and has 24/7 watch on everything that goes on in a smaller setting.
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Oh how I feel for you! My "little" mother developed a temper and was asked to leave several places. Looking back no one ever tried distraction and redirection--usually they called me. A well trained staff should be able to handle such incidents and I hope you find just the right one. Checking meds is always important as is making sure there is nothing going on medically. Just know you are not alone.
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Johng123 Jul 2020
With Covid going on, you have no real idea what is going on in these MC facilities! The staff at most of these places just want to get rid of anyone causing a problem that causes them to work!
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Depending on the type of Memory Care license, state and federal laws need to be followed for discharge, including who is informed, the time period, proof and documentation that staff have tried other ways to prevent the behaviors, and finding a new facility for the resident before discharge.
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haileybug Jul 2020
agingagency

My loved one was in a Memory Care unit for a month. He was never given a 30 day notice.

My family member was discharged to the ER for evaluation. There was never an arrangement made for a new facility for him.
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