Parents married 29 years at time of parting. He has provided a portion of support, paying for her health insurance. They never legally separated and both live in the state of California in close proximity. She is in need of in home care, is she still entitled to his VA benefits as they exist for dependents?
If VA benefits supply home care to a wife, then she should be able to receive some home care, in my own humble opinion, but I would check with a VA advisor or social worker. As you might know, unless we face this exact situation, our opinion is only that--opinion.
I sure wish you the best.
You can also call the VA in another way at a national number, but I prefer dealing with them through the local office because the rep takes a more personal interest than a faceless person on the phone.
If dad gets a military pension, find out if mom is an annuitant so that she can collect a portion of his pension when he passes. He would have had to sign her up for that and pay for it over the years.
I don't know if she qualifies for home care. She (and he) may both be entitled to burial in a national cemetery.
Good luck in finding out what you need to know.